After taking a couple of months off, it was time to get back on the horse! It was hard, but you can't go through life being afraid or assuming all men are the same. Things would be different. One thing for sure - I had to be more careful.
I unhid my profile, but not my pictures. If someone wrote and they seemed like a viable candidate, I'd send them my pictures in an email. Remaining somewhat anonymous gave me a sense of security. Hey, whatever works!
Ok, I held my breath and jumped in with both feet!
I'm always amazed at how quickly emails start to come in as soon as a profile is posted or unhidden. It's like a school of piranhas is circling the waters waiting for their next victim! Lol A couple of guys wrote that had written to me before. They were the endless emailers with no intention of meeting, so delete! I wasn't interested in pen pals, no more wasting time. The sex crazed idiots also wrote, delete, delete, delete! Things had changed, I had changed. My level of tolerance was very low. I knew what I wanted and what I needed. No more settling or being nice on the off chance I was wrong or being too picky. My gut would be my guide and if I needed help, I had plenty of friends who would be happy to help me screen profiles. The onus would fall to the men to contact me. I was done with sending introductory emails.
Round 29:
56. The Statistician
He was average height with dark hair and blue eyes. He was single, never married with no children. On his profile he described himself as an adrenaline junkie. I was exhausted after reading his profile. It sounded like he worked out 24/7! Skydiving was his drug along with various other extreme sports.
His introductory email was well written. He also spoke Spanish so after the initial exchange he emailed and texted in Spanish so he could practice. He suggested meeting soon after, but I kept putting it off. Eventually we talked on the phone. He seemed easy going and laid back. We decided to meet for coffee.
He was very polite and looked better than his picture, although shorter than I expected. We had an interesting conversation, but I didn't feel a connection. Skydiving and working out were his life, I had children and a career. We seemed to be from completely different worlds. Potential for a friendship perhaps, but even then our interests were very different and we had opposing views on family. Not once did he ask about the children which to me said he had no interest in them - deal breaker for me. Skydiving, P-90X and planning the next trip to do more skydiving were the focus of the conversation.
I thanked him for the coffee and we went our separate ways. He sent the odd text then started emailing in POF again. He asked if I'd go out for coffee again and I said yes, as friends as I didn't see potential for a relationship. He appeared angry and stopped writing. Oh well!
57. The Truck Driver
He was twice divorced with 2 grown sons. He was tall with dark hair and light eyes. His profile picture was not very clear, but he had an athletic build. The profile was short and simple, but we seemed to have several common interests. Family, travel and food being at the top of the list.
His introductory email was well written. He touched on many points in my profile and said he loved my sense of humour. One thing that I found odd was that he had two names on his profile. We moved to texting and then he called. Travel was one of his passions. He'd been all over the world. He was a truck driver and had seen most of Canada and the US many times over. Driving was soothing and he loved it. He was well spoken and polite. He wanted to meet and I agreed. We met for coffee.
He looked way better than his picture, even though his teeth were quite crooked. The first thing I asked about was the two names. He had a work name and the name his family and friends called him. That made sense. We had a really nice time and laughed alot. He had been married to a Portuguese woman so was well versed in large family gatherings, endless amounts of food and the beauty of Europe. Even though he loved kids, mine being so young was the only thing that concerned him. Then when I said we had a cat, that was pretty much a deal breaker. The cat was new and I had not updated my profile yet. Turns out he was deathly allergic to cats. Even at that he said he very much enjoyed my company and wasn't going to throw in the towel over an animal. The date was brief because he had to get to work, he said we'd talk soon. He walked me to my van, kissed me on the cheek, opened the door, helped me in and closed the door for me. OMG, I melted. This is what I like more than anything else. To me, this was a real man with lots of class.
The following day I called and left him a message. He was working nights so I figured he'd be sleeping and would have a nice message when he woke up. He called later that afternoon and I was surprised at his opening line:
Him: "Sorry I missed your call, I wanted to discuss our meeting yesterday. Is now a good time?"
So much for saying hello, how are you?
Me: "Yes sure."
Him: "It won't work. I didn't want to drag things out, better to be straight forward and to the point. You're a nice lady, I wish you luck with your search."
Me: "Ok, thank you. Have a great day."
OMG, I felt like a potential employer had called to tell me I didn't get the job. Even his tone of voice was completely different. He was so serious. Oh well, I appreciated his honesty.
I survived this round and made it out in much better shape than I expected. My confidence levels were slowly climbing and I was feeling less anxious about dating. These were two good dates with very nice and respectful gentlemen. Slowly but surely I would be fine. I'd take things one day at a time.
A few "Hi!" emails came in and I deleted them. If a man can't make an effort to type more than 2 letters, I wasn't going to waste my time either! The sexual solicitation emails were a common occurrence, what a turn off. My profile was very clear, actually quite harsh sounding now that I look back and read it. I defined single amoung various other terms and said I wasn't interested in one night stands or hook ups, but they wrote anyways!
Ok, I need sleep. Good luck everyone, things will get better!
Dateless in Ottawa
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