Back to online dating

Well, patience is not one of my virtues so back to online dating I went!  The matchmaking service will be great if a compatible match can be found and this can take a long time so I needed to help things along.  Summer is here and it's the best time to get out and meet new people.  I can't speak for others, but personally I hibernate in the Winter so if I don't get out now, it will be at least another 6 months before I'm out and about again.

I sat down and drafted a profile.  This time the focus would be on me and what I had to bring to the table.  The questionnaire from the matchmaking service was what I used to help me write my profile.  No more long laundry lists of qualities or characteristics I was looking for in a potential mate.  No negative comments about past experiences or undesirable traits.  What was more important was ME!  Once again, honesty was the key.  Without it, there's no point.  I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's, sadly I have no control over others and their intentions.

The profile was simple, but gave the reader a snap shop into who I am, what I like and things that are important to me.  My pictures were very recent from my Winter trips to the Philippines and the DR so no one will be able to accuse me of misrepresenting myself, not that they ever have.  I'll never understand why people post pictures that are over a year old.  In this new world that revolves around wireless devices and selfies, there's no excuse.  Humour is equally important so I injected a bit of that too.  The profile isn't too long or too short, just long enough to keep the reader interested while leaving some room for mystery.  After all, at the end of the day I can't give it all away, there has to be something left to talk about when we meet!

I sat on it for a couple of weeks debating whether I truly wanted to subject myself to more trauma.  The last round was brutal, but after an extended break I felt like my ego was healed enough and I wouldn't be too jaded or judgemental.  At least I'd try to stay positive and keep an open mind. 

Not sure why, but this time around I didn't tell my girl friends I was going back on POF.  They probably would've discouraged me given everything that had happened previously.  If I was in their shoes, I'd do the same.  I had to do this myself and it felt like the right thing to do.  As much as delving into the depths of online dating was terrifying to me, being alone was far worse.  Over the last several months I felt lonelier than ever.  The third year anniversary of my husband's suicide came and went and it hit me harder than I could've ever imagined.  The children felt it too, it's not something that is easily forgotten.  Sadly, it probably never will be.  I was a mess and still very angry that he had left me in this situation.  By the same token, I couldn't sit idly and wait for someone to fall into my lap.  I had to make an effort and put myself out there. 

I posted my profile, but hid it.  Over the period of about a week I would occasionally browse through men's profiles to see who was out there.  Sadly, many of them were the same.  Years had passed and the profiles were identical along with the same very outdated pictures.  What was I getting myself into?  Sigh....

Oh well, with so few options for meeting men I had to move forward so I unhid my profile.  I let some of my guy friends know I was back on POF and a few others found me right away.  They said my profile was great.  That left me feeling positive so now I just had to wait and see who would bite!

Until next time.......

Dateless in Ottawa

Busy with work and life, but I promise to start posting again soon!

Hello All!

Sorry to leave you hanging.  I miss posting, but lately work has been insane and there don't seem to be enough hours in a day to get everything I'd like to do done.

Going on holidays soon and hope to have more time so I can start posting again.

To leave you with some mystery and intrigue, I'll tell you that I dove back into online dating.  I know, I know, you probably think I'm insane.  What can I say?  I'm a sucker for punishment, but this time around I'll be smarter and more picky.

Good luck to all of you still out there trying to find your soul mate.  Get out there and have fun.  Enjoy the Summer and don't give up hope!

Stay tuned for more soon,
Dateless in Ottawa