Online Dating Sites Explored - Part 5: Elite Singles - updated

I've seen many Elite Singles advertisements.  This is another site I've never used.  Time to check it out!

Who uses Elite Singles?  According to their site:

"...the majority of our members are educated, relatively affluent, and between the ages of 30 and 55. That said, Canadian singles of all ages can (and do!) find love on our site as, above anything, we are designed for singles seeking lasting commitment."

After reading this, I think they are making too many assumptions.  I think it's more than likely inaccurate that the majority of their members are affluent and educated.  Besides, how do they define educated?  This could mean very different things depending on who you ask; completed high school, bachelors degree, tradesperson, masters degree?  At the very least, I have a hard time believing it.  Makes you wonder what members choose within the various categories and what they are seeking in a perfect match.

Also, for those not looking for a lasting commitment, maybe this site is not for you!  Personally I would eventually like to have an exclusive and long lasting relationship, hopefully my forever and last relationship.  For now, I'll set-up a profile and check out the site.

It's easy enough to start.  The site guides you step-by-step.  Once your basic information is entered, the questions start appearing.  This is their in-depth personality test which helps them to determine what you're looking for in a partner.  There are a lot of questions, tons of questions.  The format on this site is very different.  When answering the questions it's more like a rating scale in terms of how important the particular category, quality or element is to you.  The range starts at "Not at all Important" and there are 3 other options before arriving at the last rating of "Very Important."  I like that they touch on all aspects like languages, distance, education level, income....many of these can be used when doing advanced searches on other sites, but here you can rate the importance of each so they can find you appropriate matches.  Other questions can be answered with yes, no or maybe like for example whether you want to have children with your partner.

Overall, the questions seemed very thorough and I like being able to identify the importance of each category and what I expect from a partner. 

As you are responding to the questions, matches, visitors to your profile and messages begin to appear across the top of the screen.  You are able to see your matches with their pictures blurred, but of course if you want to read any messages or interact with other members, you have to subscribe.  There are 3 levels of membership.  Light, comfort and classic.  Rates start at $29.95 per month and go as high as $99.95 for a one month membership.   

The site is user friendly and easy to navigate.  I really like how detailed the profiles are in terms of what's most important to you, but perhaps there's a bit too much information.  Some profiles seem endless with lists of a member's strengths.  Haven't they heard of "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?"  Gives the appearance that you're rambling on about how awesome you are.  I think 3 adjectives is usually sufficient, keep it simple and humble.  Personally a bit of mystery and intrigue is important.  Besides, you need to have something to talk about when you meet and some of the qualities may be less important than you think when you get to know someone.  It's too easy to rate things and after what seems like hundreds of questions, are we really being truly honest or simply trying to get to the end of the questionnaire by choosing somewhat important for all questions?

At the end of the day, I refuse to pay to find love.  I have yet to find a site that convinces me that becoming a paid member will guarantee or at the very least increase my chances of finding the one.

Update: I left this profile up for a bit and I was shocked at how many emails I received.  My inbox was full in no time. Way, way too many emails.  Some were to let me know someone was requesting a picture, my profile had been viewed, another member has uploaded a picture, proposals, subscribe now and save, etc. the list goes on and on.  I'm ok with getting a weekly email with matches, but this constant barrage of emails was overwhelming.  I deleted the profile, this site is most definitely not for me.  It's the equivalent of a high pressure sales experience only it's via email!  Anything to try to convince you to sign up.  Makes me wonder how many matches I'd actually get if I was a paid  member as it seemed too artificial and staged. 

Good luck!
Dateless in Ottawa   

Online Dating Sites Explored - Part 4: OK Cupid - updated

On to the next site. A friend mentioned having used OK Cupid, but I had never been on it or seen it.  It's on the top 10 online dating list so time to check it out.

So far this site is by far the most difficult to navigate, my IT challenges don't help either.  Definitely not user friendly in my opinion, for whatever it’s worth.  OK Cupid is advertised as a free online dating site, but there are some features you have to pay for.  I’m still trying to figure this one out and how it works.  Not sure what an A-List is or why I should pay for it.

I created a profile.  For this site, you have to upload a picture before it will allow you to continue.  I was less than thrilled, as I'm simply checking these sites out and not interested in looking at this point.  There must be a way to hide the profile and I better figure that out quick!  Amazing how much detail you can add about yourself.  There are several sections that you don’t have to fill out, but they encourage you to include as much information about yourself as possible to increase your chances.  Funny how many sites use the same line “to increase your chances.”  Keep buying your Lotto Max tickets!

Once the profile is complete, they start sending you a series of questions.  The answers you provide are used to find you matches.  Well, I was shocked at how many questions they ask.  The nice thing is some of the questions are related to preferences.  Height is usually pretty big for me.  I appreciated that they also ask about religion and ethnic preferences.  We each know what is most important to us and what our deal breakers are, so I thought this was good.  I haven’t seen questions like this on other sites when creating a profile.  You can narrow down what you’re looking for in advanced searches, but I don’t think the other sites use that information for the system generated matches. 

After answering several questions, they just kept coming.  It was endless.  Good thing I was kind of bored and killing some time.  I think I wound up answering 100. Ultimately I think there are way too many questions.  Some were related to your opinion on Trump and some of his ideas???  This seemed totally misplaced to me, I'm here to find love not fix the political problems of the world.  Then they dove into the sexual questions.  Go ahead and ask me if I like sex, but when you start getting into questions about frequency, fetishes, kink, etc. now you’ve gone overboard.  These are areas to be explored with a partner when and if you get there.  Every relationship is different.  How can one predetermine frequency?  This will vary depending on your partner and many things can impact it.  Not necessary or appropriate questions in my opinion.

It was a long process and when I tried to do a search for guys within my city, there wasn't much. With millions of members one would assume there would be a large enough pool of potential candidates within your city.

Eventually they show you matches and you click on an “x” if you’re not interested or a “√” if you are interested.  With all the questions I answered you’d think they’d have tons of matches for me, but sadly there were only 9!  Not sure what happens when there’s a mutual match.  For the ones I chose an “x”, I was not supposed to ever see those profiles again, but they are still able to email me.  I thought this was odd, if I'm not interested what's the point?  Initially I thought maybe you could only communicate with men who you'd said yes you were interested, which would be better I think.  As I mentioned previously, I’m still trying to figure this one out, but I don’t like it.

Nice that you can receive and respond to emails without having to pay. 

Issues with the site:
1. I’m in Canada, why are all the payments in US funds?  Yes, many companies are based in the US, but you’d think the offices set up in other countries would charge based on their national currency. 
2. If you change the search settings and remove the distance limit, you get all kinds of matches in the US.  I will travel for love within reason, but Texas??? 
3. Surprise, surprise...many of the same guys are on POF. 

Oh well, I tried.  Won’t be keeping this account.  The site is way too complicated for me and I just don’t have the time to figure it out. 

Update: Interestingly enough, before I had a chance to delete the profile, a gentleman wrote.  I struggled as I didn't set up the profile to find love.  I was simply checking out the site so I could blog about it.  The email was polite and he made the effort so I was compelled to respond.  He was very funny and seemed nice.  I was honest and explained why I created the profile.  Not sure he believed me, but I was telling the truth.

Him: So you're not single?
Me: Yes I am.
Him: What's the type you normally date?
Me: Someone with a sense of humour.
Him: I guess I'm good for a date then :)  :)  :)

Stay tuned, I'll keep you posted on what happens.  This was so unexpected.  Maybe it's true, when you least expect it things happen.

Another guy also wrote, but I recognized him right away.  He had written on POF several times.  He's one of those that writes fast and furious for several days oozing with compliments, then all of a sudden he deletes his profile.  He then creates a new one and writes to you again as if he's never contacted you before.  It's quite odd.  No thanks, delete!

This site sends you emails with matches and notifies you when you receive an email.  Not sure whether you can control the settings, but most of the online dating sites do this.  I didn't find it was an excessive amount of emails.  I stand by my decision of not paying to find love. 

Just because I didn't like it, doesn't mean it won't work for you, try it and see!

Dateless in Ottawa

Online Dating Sites Explored - Part 3: Match

I had used Match years ago.  At the time I thought it was by far the best looking site. It was colourful and very organized.  I also found you were able to add the most information and pictures.

Back to Match I went to check it out.  It says it's free to start.  There no cost to join or create a profile, but that's about as far as you'll get.  I followed the instructions and created my profile, but didn't upload a picture.  As I created the profile and added information, a number representing the matches found started to appear.  Once I had completed the profile, a message appeared across the screen that they had found me 11 matches.  It asked me to rate my matches, but basically it's a yes or no whether you'd want to meet them.  With time to kill, I figured why not.  Most of the profiles were very short.  The site looks completely different from what I remember.  It appears less user friendly, but then again I am not a paying member so functionality is very limited.  When you're unsure about paying, it's really hard to decide when you can't try out all of the features.

As I browsed through the profiles I started to laugh.  One, then two, three, four....Of the 11 matches they presented, 6 of the guys are on POF using the exact same profile picture.  So much for increasing your chances of relationship success if you use a paying site because members are more serious.  Yeah sure, this totally disproves that theory.  Then I went back to the main site and some of the pictures that appear are of celebrities.  Yup, like Pippa Middleton totally needs to be on Match.com. 

Once you finish rating your matches, a pop-up appears asking you to subscribe and lists the various options and costs.  Unless you subscribe, you cannot communicate with other members.  They have basic plans and bundle plans.  Costs can run as low as $16.00 US per month when you sign up for 12 months or as high as $24.99 US per month for a 3-month subscription.  Apparently they offer free 3-day trials, but I was not given that option.

Some of the features with a paid subscription:

Viewing and communication tools.

Mobile app.

Advanced search features.

Email filters.

A quiz.

Games. 

And others.

For the most part, I think all of these features are free on POF and probably a few other sites.  Given that many of the guys are on POF, why would someone pay to have a subscription on Match?  They claim to have a guarantee, but they don't make it easy and at the end of the day, you simply get another 6-month membership at no additional cost.  Read all the terms and good luck!

 

When something becomes labour intensive and/or too complicated, I lose interest.  Don't forget, I'm the one who's extremely IT challenged.  I have no issue investing time and putting in the effort, but when a site makes it too long and attaches a cost, I'll pass.  No doubt this site works for some. You have to find what you like and decide whether or not it's worth paying for.  At the end of the day, this profile will be deleted.

 

I recommend people check out various sites and compare features before signing up.

Good luck!

Dateless in Ottawa

Online Dating Sites Explored - Part 2: POF - updated

Who isn't familiar with POF?  It's probably the largest existing online dating site with millions of members world wide.  Creating an account and using the site is free, but you can choose to purchase an upgraded membership which affords you some added functionality and features.  Some of these extra features include:

Include 16 images on your profile.

View other user's extended profile.

See if emails you send are read or deleted.

Your profile will show up first on the "Meet Me" feature.

No ads will show up on the page.

You can see the date and time other users viewed your profile.

The site is relatively user friendly.  Having used it on several occasions over the years, you catch on fairly quickly and learn to navigate.  It has changed somewhat in that initially everything was free, but now some of the functionality is limited to the upgraded members only.  POF sends you weekly matches and they also organize singles events.  

One feature that I really liked that is no longer available is the user search.  If you new the username of the individual you were looking for, you could easily find them this way.  Sadly, this is no longer available.  With several friends on the site it was handy.  Now you have to go through all the meet me pictures or do searches and hope that they'll come up or they'll find you.

Personally I've never felt the added functionality was necessary so chose not to pay for an upgraded membership.  Online dating can be damaging enough to one's ego, do I really need to know if a guy has read or deleted my emails?  16 pictures???  I have a hard enough time posting 1 or 2, but to each his/her own.  At the end of the day, the upgraded membership is an option a user can add.

In my opinion, success or failure cannot be blamed on a site.  Success is dependent on the users and how honestly they portray themselves and their expectations, the site doesn't have any control over what users post.  They do their best to take down inappropriate pictures and materials, but the overall content of a profile is the responsibility of the individual users. 

If like me, you refuse to pay to find your significant other, POF is for you.  Check out the site and give it a try. 

Happy Dating!
Dateless in Ottawa