Ok, so the dating service didn't pan out. The same person that was putting on the singles events at the grocery store started a matchmaking service. Given how much I enjoyed reading her articles and blog, attending the singles grocery nights and the fact that she was friends with one of my close friends, I thought why not? Her questionnaire was very detailed. Along with the usual personal questions, it also asked about my preferences. What really stood out to me was that it made me look at myself. With questions like:
What makes you stand out from the crowd?
What makes you interesting?
Would you describe yourself as charismatic, assertive or ambitious?
What are your long term life goals?
What does your ideal relationship look like?
What are 5 solid reasons someone would want to date you?
I could list them all, but I think you get the idea. Instead of focusing solely on what you're looking for, you examine yourself and what you have to offer a potential mate. It really made me think. I'll tell you, it was a lot harder than I thought to answer these questions. After thinking long and hard, I jotted down some answers then checked in with friends for their opinions. Very eye opening indeed. I learned a lot about myself. All in all, I felt her questionnaire was very thorough and left me feeling confident that all this information would make it relatively easy for even a stranger who's never met me to find me a match. This process takes much longer, but I won't have to do much other than patiently wait to see who I'm matched with and go from there.
Note: Once again, as with online dating, you get out of it what you put into it so the key is to be honest.
In the meantime, I participated in another singles grocery night. It was extremely well attended, but again more women than men showed up. It was fun. A few of my friends also participated and I gave them lots to laugh about. You're encouraged to introduce yourself to others who are also participating, but somehow I managed to keep talking to men that weren't there for the event and one was married! I accidentally bumped into him with my cart and started to apologize profusely. He was extremely pleasant and a great sport. We were in the middle of a conversation when my girl friend comes over and whispers into my ear, "Did you have to pick a married one? Hello, wedding ring!" Hey, I was being nice to someone I had bumped into. Darn, too bad because he was cute and totally the type of guy I'm attracted to. My girl friend couldn't stop laughing. At least I can say I talked to a guy, which is more than I can say for her! A while later I did it again. Very strange, kind of like mostly married guys approach me when online dating. Good grief, I guess I'm attracted to married men too!
For me these events afford me the opportunity to get out and change my routine. I go into them with very low expectations. My focus is on doing my groceries and having fun. Meeting someone would be the icing on the cake, but either way it's a night out. Afterwards a group of us usually goes out for a bite and drinks to compare notes. Great conversation and lots of laughs are guaranteed. This time I even won a gift basket! It was a completely unexpected surprise. I look forward to participating in more of these events. There's no pressure and it's up to you to make the effort.
I strongly encourage all singles to look into these events and participate. Get out and meet people, try different things and put in the effort. Don't expect a significant other to simply fall into your lap.
Good luck, time for bed!
Dateless in Ottawa
Monday 20 June 2016
Saturday 4 June 2016
The Dating Service
I did a Google search and few companies came up. One in particular seemed to have several links and I had seen an advertisement in a magazine or newspaper. They don't seem to be in business any longer so I won't bother mentioning their name. I sent them an email and they responded stating they would contact me within the next few business days.
A day later a customer service representative called and briefly explained the services they offered. I was asked to set aside one hour to speak to one of their representatives who would complete a detailed questionnaire and answer any questions I might have. The teleconference was scheduled and a gentleman called on the day and time I agreed upon.
That night I had sent the kids over to a friend's place since I needed to set aside one hour to complete the questionnaire and then ask my questions. I didn't want any interruptions or distractions. To my surprise, less than 15 minutes into the conversation, the guy says we're done. I told him there must be a mistake because I was expecting a far more lengthy interview. He had only asked a few basic questions like age, height, hair/eye colour, marital status, occupation, number of children and religion. He insisted he had more than enough information to match me with someone in their extensive database. I was then asked to provide a credit card number and agree to the conditions of membership. The cost was $1,500.00. This would guarantee me a minimum of 3 matches, but I had to make contact with individuals by email, followed by telephone and meet them in person at least once.
This sounded a bit too fishy for me. After asking me only a few basic questions, what had this guy learned? I decided to put him to the test!
Me: "I'm not convinced you have enough information to appropriately match me with someone."
Him: "Don't worry Miss. ------ I have everything I need. Simple agree to the terms and provide your credit card information so I can get to work on your file and send you your first match."
Me: "No, I think you need to tell me what you've learned from the information I've provided and what kind of person you would match me with."
Him: "Madame, we're experts with extensive experience in this field. I can assure you we have someone for everyone. You have to trust us, the experts."
Me: "You're not answering my question. I highly doubt you have any idea of what kind of person I'm looking for. You asked very basic questions. Nothing about my preferences."
Him: "Madame, you have to be open minded and flexible. At times one becomes too picky and unreasonable with their expectations. Leave it to the experts, we can develop your profile and match you with someone who will be compatible with you. I will also need you to send me 2 recent pictures of yourself to complete the profile."
Me: "You keep talking in circles. Demonstrate to me that the information you have will allow you to find me what I'm looking for."
Him: "I'm not sure what you want me to say."
Me: "You asked me nothing about my personal preferences. I agree that perhaps at times our list of wants can be unreasonable, but as human beings we do have preferences based on our experiences. You asked me nothing about any characteristics or traits that are not acceptable to me."
Him: "Again Madame, you have to trust the experts."
Me: "As a new potential client, you haven't given me any proof that you can find what I'm looking for. I'll give you some examples:
I prefer men that are tall because I'm taller than average.
Blonds do nothing for me.
Religion is important. My mate has to have similar beliefs, values and morals.
As it relates to cultural backgrounds, again I have preferences.
The individual has to be willing to embrace my children and have strong family values."
Him: "Madame, you're being too picky. We have an extensive database of single men that would be a good match for you."
Me: "You didn't even ask me what my acceptable age range or distance is."
Him: "Once again, these obstacles can be managed. We encourage members to be flexible."
Me: "Ok, if you have such an extensive database please tell me how many men in the 35-45 age range you have in the Ottawa area."
Him: "Madame we can't provide that information."
Me: "Why not? I'm having serious doubts you have enough information to develop a profile. It would be in your best interest to demonstrate to me that you at the very least have a reasonable number of single men in my acceptable age range available for you to match me with. I'm not asking for names or contact information, nor am I being specific as to race, religion or height preferences, just give me an overall number of available single men in Ottawa that meet this age range. If you have that much confidence in your services, you should have these statistics readily available."
Him: "If we have a sufficient inventory, would that encourage you to sign up and try our services?"
Me: "It could."
Him: "Alright Ms.----- let me do a preliminary search."
- I waited for a few minutes while he ran this search.
Him: "There must be a mistake, let me run this again."
Me: "What number did the system generate?"
Him: "One moment, I'm seeing 3, but there has to be more."
Me: "3?"
Him: "I'm going to make a phone call."
Me: "No, that's alright. I'm not interested. This clearly demonstrates to me you would not be able to meet my expectations let alone fulfill your promise to provide a minimum of 3 matches or my money back."
Him: "Yes, we could as we have sufficient inventory."
Me: "According to you, but both parties must agree to share their profile before you can deem it to be a match so with only 3 available candidates, what are the odds all 3 will agree to share their profile with me and that I would also accept? Even if they all agreed, there's no guarantee we'll hit it off and then my available pool of candidates is depleted and I end up with nothing. No, thanks I'll pass."
Him: "We have new members joining daily, rest assured there will be many more available in the near future."
Me: "I'm sorry, as a single parent this is a huge financial investment and I'm very skeptical. The figures you provided leave me with very little in terms of expectations of success. Thank you for your time, but I will not be subscribing to your services."
They called me almost daily asking if I would reconsider and provide my credit card number. It was ridiculous, they left message after message. Several times I asked them to stop calling. I finally had to threated to report them and consider harassment charges if they didn't stop calling.
My goodness, almost as bad as online dating! There have to be other options. Time for more research. In the meantime, I encourage my readers to feel free to post comments with any ideas or suggestions on how to meet other singles. In my case, it's a package deal - 5 for the price of 1! It's an awesome deal if you ask me. Seriously, where in the world can you get this kind of a deal? Lol
Good luck to all! I'll keep searching, eventually I'm confident I'll find an answer.
Dateless in Ottawa
A day later a customer service representative called and briefly explained the services they offered. I was asked to set aside one hour to speak to one of their representatives who would complete a detailed questionnaire and answer any questions I might have. The teleconference was scheduled and a gentleman called on the day and time I agreed upon.
That night I had sent the kids over to a friend's place since I needed to set aside one hour to complete the questionnaire and then ask my questions. I didn't want any interruptions or distractions. To my surprise, less than 15 minutes into the conversation, the guy says we're done. I told him there must be a mistake because I was expecting a far more lengthy interview. He had only asked a few basic questions like age, height, hair/eye colour, marital status, occupation, number of children and religion. He insisted he had more than enough information to match me with someone in their extensive database. I was then asked to provide a credit card number and agree to the conditions of membership. The cost was $1,500.00. This would guarantee me a minimum of 3 matches, but I had to make contact with individuals by email, followed by telephone and meet them in person at least once.
This sounded a bit too fishy for me. After asking me only a few basic questions, what had this guy learned? I decided to put him to the test!
Me: "I'm not convinced you have enough information to appropriately match me with someone."
Him: "Don't worry Miss. ------ I have everything I need. Simple agree to the terms and provide your credit card information so I can get to work on your file and send you your first match."
Me: "No, I think you need to tell me what you've learned from the information I've provided and what kind of person you would match me with."
Him: "Madame, we're experts with extensive experience in this field. I can assure you we have someone for everyone. You have to trust us, the experts."
Me: "You're not answering my question. I highly doubt you have any idea of what kind of person I'm looking for. You asked very basic questions. Nothing about my preferences."
Him: "Madame, you have to be open minded and flexible. At times one becomes too picky and unreasonable with their expectations. Leave it to the experts, we can develop your profile and match you with someone who will be compatible with you. I will also need you to send me 2 recent pictures of yourself to complete the profile."
Me: "You keep talking in circles. Demonstrate to me that the information you have will allow you to find me what I'm looking for."
Him: "I'm not sure what you want me to say."
Me: "You asked me nothing about my personal preferences. I agree that perhaps at times our list of wants can be unreasonable, but as human beings we do have preferences based on our experiences. You asked me nothing about any characteristics or traits that are not acceptable to me."
Him: "Again Madame, you have to trust the experts."
Me: "As a new potential client, you haven't given me any proof that you can find what I'm looking for. I'll give you some examples:
I prefer men that are tall because I'm taller than average.
Blonds do nothing for me.
Religion is important. My mate has to have similar beliefs, values and morals.
As it relates to cultural backgrounds, again I have preferences.
The individual has to be willing to embrace my children and have strong family values."
Him: "Madame, you're being too picky. We have an extensive database of single men that would be a good match for you."
Me: "You didn't even ask me what my acceptable age range or distance is."
Him: "Once again, these obstacles can be managed. We encourage members to be flexible."
Me: "Ok, if you have such an extensive database please tell me how many men in the 35-45 age range you have in the Ottawa area."
Him: "Madame we can't provide that information."
Me: "Why not? I'm having serious doubts you have enough information to develop a profile. It would be in your best interest to demonstrate to me that you at the very least have a reasonable number of single men in my acceptable age range available for you to match me with. I'm not asking for names or contact information, nor am I being specific as to race, religion or height preferences, just give me an overall number of available single men in Ottawa that meet this age range. If you have that much confidence in your services, you should have these statistics readily available."
Him: "If we have a sufficient inventory, would that encourage you to sign up and try our services?"
Me: "It could."
Him: "Alright Ms.----- let me do a preliminary search."
- I waited for a few minutes while he ran this search.
Him: "There must be a mistake, let me run this again."
Me: "What number did the system generate?"
Him: "One moment, I'm seeing 3, but there has to be more."
Me: "3?"
Him: "I'm going to make a phone call."
Me: "No, that's alright. I'm not interested. This clearly demonstrates to me you would not be able to meet my expectations let alone fulfill your promise to provide a minimum of 3 matches or my money back."
Him: "Yes, we could as we have sufficient inventory."
Me: "According to you, but both parties must agree to share their profile before you can deem it to be a match so with only 3 available candidates, what are the odds all 3 will agree to share their profile with me and that I would also accept? Even if they all agreed, there's no guarantee we'll hit it off and then my available pool of candidates is depleted and I end up with nothing. No, thanks I'll pass."
Him: "We have new members joining daily, rest assured there will be many more available in the near future."
Me: "I'm sorry, as a single parent this is a huge financial investment and I'm very skeptical. The figures you provided leave me with very little in terms of expectations of success. Thank you for your time, but I will not be subscribing to your services."
They called me almost daily asking if I would reconsider and provide my credit card number. It was ridiculous, they left message after message. Several times I asked them to stop calling. I finally had to threated to report them and consider harassment charges if they didn't stop calling.
My goodness, almost as bad as online dating! There have to be other options. Time for more research. In the meantime, I encourage my readers to feel free to post comments with any ideas or suggestions on how to meet other singles. In my case, it's a package deal - 5 for the price of 1! It's an awesome deal if you ask me. Seriously, where in the world can you get this kind of a deal? Lol
Good luck to all! I'll keep searching, eventually I'm confident I'll find an answer.
Dateless in Ottawa
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