This was unbelievable. I met a couple of nice guys along the way, but sadly this journey was plagued with dishonest, lying cheats. They misrepresent themselves in the hopes of getting.....you guessed it SEX! Don't get me wrong, sex is a wonderful thing. At least it can be with the right person and under the proper circumstances. I'm not interested in being the other woman, a mistress, one night stand, a fling, the flavour of the week or whatever they call it these days. Not my style. Without an emotional connection and physical attraction, it ain't gonna happen.
I think what I was finding most disappointing was the dishonesty. Does anyone tell the truth anymore? This can't be "normal" or acceptable. What happened to those age old values and morals we grew up with? The blatant lack of respect and honesty was outrageous and frankly, disgusting. Do these men have no self-pride? Sooner or later they will get caught, then what? Is it a game? Are they suffering from a mid-life crisis and trying to prove to society they still have it? So many questions and no answers. Sadly this behaviour gives all men a bad name. We aren't supposed to paint everyone with the same brush, but when the overwhelming majority exhibit the same behaviour, it's hard not to.
I had to find a way to make this journey more bearable. The only behaviour we can control is our own. It's extremely difficult not to take it personally when someone is disrespectful towards you. Giving everyone the benefit of the doubt was not paying off. Some of these men are good actors, not academy award winning material, but expert liars. Not sure how they juggle so many lies. How do they keep their stories straight or remember what they tell all the women they are juggling? You'd think it would become a full-time job! Online dating can be very damaging to one's self-esteem, it's not for the faint of heart. You have to grow a thick skin. So much for a woman being soft and delicate!
Now as I look back at some of these stories I can laugh, but at the time I was living them it wasn't fun. Often times I was a mess. I'd get my hopes up and ultimately set myself up for disappointment. Thankfully I have some great girl friends always willing to come over and cheer me up. I think they enjoy my stories. They also leave feeling grateful and relieved for not being single! Lol
Once again, I looked over my profile and made some changes. I only left one picture up, why bother having more? I signed up for softball and dodgeball with a group of friends which got me out of the house a couple of nights a week. Things would get better as Winter was coming to an end. Spring would bring with it a new beginning. For now I would sit tight and only log into POF when I received a notification that I had an email. No more searches or sending introductory emails. The men would have to do all the work!
Stay tuned for Round 23!
Dateless in Ottawa
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