Often times when someone cancels on you at the last minute, you're left wondering whether you said or did something wrong. Why is it that we always assume the worst and blame ourselves? Sadly many men are dishonest and unable to tell you the real reason why they are cancelling. Don't get me wrong, things do happen but some excuses are beyond lame. Personally I strive to be a person of my word and go out of my way to make sure if I have plans that I follow through. I can be extremely creative at juggling my kids, work and responsibilities. Not sure where I find the extra hours, but I make it work. There is only one time I can think of that I had to cancel and that was because I was out of town working and had to stay an extra day due to events getting added at the last minute. Funnily enough, as I was calling my date to let him know, he was calling me to cancel at the exact same time!
The list of excuses is endless. Some plausible others way too far fetched. I'll have to dedicate a post just to excuses guys use!
A very common one I've run into numerous times over the last couple of years is "I have a headache"
- I love this one. I wish I had 5 bucks for every time a guy cancelled for this reason. So much for women being the ones with recurring headaches. Sorry, guys it seems the tables have turned. Ever hear of taking an Advil or Tylenol?
I love it when I catch a guy in a lie. Sooner or later the truth will always come out. We're too old for games, just tell the truth.
My son recently learned this lesson all too well. I was planning a surprise birthday party for him and asked one of his girlfriends to ask him out for lunch and bring him to the restaurant. It was all set-up perfectly, then at 10:00 pm the night before he texts her that he's not going out. He doesn't feel well and has too much homework. I texted another of his girlfriends and she said not to worry, he was going out with her for lunch instead. I felt really badly for the first girl. It was weird, was there a misunderstanding?
Well, the next day at his party didn't he feel like a complete idiot when he walked in and who did he see first? The girlfriend he originally had plans with. She was visibly upset and he was horribly embarrassed. He tried apologizing, but it was beyond lame.
That night I let him have it. This kind of behaviour is completely unacceptable. This is not how I raised him. Respect and honesty are paramount.
Me: "I can't believe you did that. Hopefully you've learned your lesson. You've heard some of my online dating stories and how upset I get and you go and do it to a good friend of yours? Really nice."
Him: "I couldn't believe it when I walked in and saw her. I felt so bad."
Me: "You should! You don't do that. I'm ashamed of you, she was very upset."
Him: "I know, I know. I didn't know what to say. I apologized."
Me: "Don't you turn into an asshole like the guys I have to deal with online. If you don't want to go out with someone then don't say yes to begin with. What, you get a better offer and dump the first one? How would you feel if someone did it to you? This better not be a habit of yours. Glad you got caught, learn from your mistake and don't you ever do it again!"
Him: "Yeah, I know."
Me: "You owe her an apology and need to make it up to her. Can't imagine how you made her feel. She was doing me a favour to get you to the party so you wouldn't figure it out. I feel bad for having asked her cause then you go and do this. Geez! Some best friend you are."
My daughter told me later it's not the first time he's done it. This time Karma worked her magic and he got caught red handed! All of his friends at the party knew what was going on too. I think he learned his lesson.
Are men born with this behaviour imbedded in them? My goodness, be a man and show some respect. Not only to yourself, but others. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts but I'd rather that than being lead on or used. Time is the most precious gift a person can give you because you can never get that back. Don't take advantage of them and play games.
Too much!
Dateless in Ottawa
Tuesday 14 May 2019
Sunday 12 May 2019
More dating stories going back a while
As promised, a few more older stories that I never got around to writing about. I swear as long as I live, not sure I'll ever figure men out.
When I'm bored, POF becomes a source of entertainment. Sad to view it that way, but given my experiences best not to have any expectations. Maybe one day someone will surprise me, until then I have to make the best of it. I had logged in one night when I couldn't sleep and within minutes men started writing.
A couple of them had written previously. All of them are great at emailing fast and furious with no intention of meeting. The majority simply want to sext. No thanks boys, I'll pass. One stood out. I had never seen this picture before and the profile was very well written. He was 6'6" with a pale complexion and hair that was so blond is was almost white. His introductory email was long and touched on several notes in my profile so he obviously took the time to read it. He was new to Ottawa. The profile said he worked in transport. We emailed for a while then he asked if I would like to call him so we could talk live. I called and we had a good conversation. He suggested we meet for a game of pool or perhaps swing dancing lessons. I chose pool.
A few days before we were supposed to meet, he sent some odd texts. It was almost as though they were intended for someone else. The conversation didn't follow any of the topics we had previously talked about and made no sense to me. I asked if he was ok and he called. He sounded upset and confused. Said he'd had an argument with his family and they called him a loser and useless. Something about a bank transfer that wasn't sent. I tried to be sympathetic, but none of what he said made any sense. This left me feeling a bit uneasy.
The following day he called again and went on about the last woman he dated and how she still called him often. They went out and she always paid for everything. She was planning a trip to Florida and wanted him to come along. Then he commented that I must have a similar following with men I had previously dated. They probably still want to get into my pants and he's not interested in having to compete for my attention.
I was so not impressed.
Me: "When it's over, it's over. I don't continue to see ex's and have them pay for everything or sleep with them thank you very much. How inappropriate."
Him: "But do you know what I mean? I'm sure they're still pining away for you."
Me: "That's irrelevant, is this what you do? If you're still involved with your ex's, then maybe you shouldn't be dating."
Him: "No, not at all. I really want to meet you. First time I have a serious and intelligent conversation with a lady. I can tell you're classy and well educated."
His profile said he had children. When I asked he said his daughter had lived for an hour and died shortly after birth. Him and his wife divorced soon after. He moved to Ottawa after a bad break up and a falling out with his family. For years he'd been a truck driver, but claimed he didn't want to do that anymore. He wanted to settle down and grow some roots. At 53 I think that's a smart thing to do.
I had my doubts. Something didn't feel right, but being a person of my word I met him for a game of pool. Thankfully the place was right by my warehouse, so I knew co-workers would be close by if needed.
He was on time. We met up inside. He was definitely tall, but looked much older in person. When we got to our table we took off our coats and ordered a drink. In the light, I was extremely disappointed with what I saw. His polo shirt and pants were stained and dirty. Then he got a phone call so I went and sat off to the side to give him some privacy. When he hung up:
Him: "I guess I didn't do a good job of updating my contacts."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Him: "This is a woman I dated a while ago and she's calling me to hook up again."
Me: "Pardon me?"
Him: "I thought I had deleted her from my contacts, these women keep calling me."
Me: "Whether you delete her from your contacts or not, she obviously still has your number. If you don't want to talk to her perhaps you should block her number."
Him: "Oh is that how it works? You don't look impressed."
Me: "Should I be?"
The couple next to us kept staring at him. The lady finally came over and asked him his name, she said he looked identical to her favourite Irish singer. Sure enough she pulled up a picture on her iPhone and he look just like him. He was also Irish. Another friend of theirs arrived and again a big commotion. I could tell he loved attention. They asked if they could take pictures with him so I got to play photographer. Glad I was able to make myself useful.
Then he got another call. He went on about finances and how short he was on money. Apparently he just got a job driving kids to school, but his vehicle wasn't in the best of shape. He was between jobs and having a hard time getting one. He'd been off for a while, dealing with some mental health issues. Oh boy, this was all new. Funny how he hadn't mentioned any of this during our previous conversations. Great, I was so not paying for this date. Was this guy for real? He thought he was God's gift to women...NOT!
The whole time his pants kept falling down. It was ridiculous. I think he thought it was sexy. Given how dirty his clothes were...I didn't even want to go there if you know what I mean. He commented that I looked really good and better than my picture. Damn right! My pictures are recent and I took the time to dress appropriately and shower before the date.
Ultimately after playing a couple of games, I told him I was done. From the look on his face I could tell he knew exactly what I meant, but had the gall to comment that he thought I liked sex.
Me: "I do very much, but only with the right person."
I headed straight for the door. He stayed behind to pay. Typically I would offer, but I was beyond pissed off. Not to mention that in my books if you ask me out, you're paying. We walked out to the parking lot and he asked if he was at least going to get a kiss good night. OMG!!! My bitch face must have surfaced because he quickly headed for his car. I said good night and left.
Unbelievable. What planet do these men come from? Give your head a shake. Wow! I have nothing else to say.
Dateless in Ottawa
When I'm bored, POF becomes a source of entertainment. Sad to view it that way, but given my experiences best not to have any expectations. Maybe one day someone will surprise me, until then I have to make the best of it. I had logged in one night when I couldn't sleep and within minutes men started writing.
A couple of them had written previously. All of them are great at emailing fast and furious with no intention of meeting. The majority simply want to sext. No thanks boys, I'll pass. One stood out. I had never seen this picture before and the profile was very well written. He was 6'6" with a pale complexion and hair that was so blond is was almost white. His introductory email was long and touched on several notes in my profile so he obviously took the time to read it. He was new to Ottawa. The profile said he worked in transport. We emailed for a while then he asked if I would like to call him so we could talk live. I called and we had a good conversation. He suggested we meet for a game of pool or perhaps swing dancing lessons. I chose pool.
A few days before we were supposed to meet, he sent some odd texts. It was almost as though they were intended for someone else. The conversation didn't follow any of the topics we had previously talked about and made no sense to me. I asked if he was ok and he called. He sounded upset and confused. Said he'd had an argument with his family and they called him a loser and useless. Something about a bank transfer that wasn't sent. I tried to be sympathetic, but none of what he said made any sense. This left me feeling a bit uneasy.
The following day he called again and went on about the last woman he dated and how she still called him often. They went out and she always paid for everything. She was planning a trip to Florida and wanted him to come along. Then he commented that I must have a similar following with men I had previously dated. They probably still want to get into my pants and he's not interested in having to compete for my attention.
I was so not impressed.
Me: "When it's over, it's over. I don't continue to see ex's and have them pay for everything or sleep with them thank you very much. How inappropriate."
Him: "But do you know what I mean? I'm sure they're still pining away for you."
Me: "That's irrelevant, is this what you do? If you're still involved with your ex's, then maybe you shouldn't be dating."
Him: "No, not at all. I really want to meet you. First time I have a serious and intelligent conversation with a lady. I can tell you're classy and well educated."
His profile said he had children. When I asked he said his daughter had lived for an hour and died shortly after birth. Him and his wife divorced soon after. He moved to Ottawa after a bad break up and a falling out with his family. For years he'd been a truck driver, but claimed he didn't want to do that anymore. He wanted to settle down and grow some roots. At 53 I think that's a smart thing to do.
I had my doubts. Something didn't feel right, but being a person of my word I met him for a game of pool. Thankfully the place was right by my warehouse, so I knew co-workers would be close by if needed.
He was on time. We met up inside. He was definitely tall, but looked much older in person. When we got to our table we took off our coats and ordered a drink. In the light, I was extremely disappointed with what I saw. His polo shirt and pants were stained and dirty. Then he got a phone call so I went and sat off to the side to give him some privacy. When he hung up:
Him: "I guess I didn't do a good job of updating my contacts."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Him: "This is a woman I dated a while ago and she's calling me to hook up again."
Me: "Pardon me?"
Him: "I thought I had deleted her from my contacts, these women keep calling me."
Me: "Whether you delete her from your contacts or not, she obviously still has your number. If you don't want to talk to her perhaps you should block her number."
Him: "Oh is that how it works? You don't look impressed."
Me: "Should I be?"
The couple next to us kept staring at him. The lady finally came over and asked him his name, she said he looked identical to her favourite Irish singer. Sure enough she pulled up a picture on her iPhone and he look just like him. He was also Irish. Another friend of theirs arrived and again a big commotion. I could tell he loved attention. They asked if they could take pictures with him so I got to play photographer. Glad I was able to make myself useful.
Then he got another call. He went on about finances and how short he was on money. Apparently he just got a job driving kids to school, but his vehicle wasn't in the best of shape. He was between jobs and having a hard time getting one. He'd been off for a while, dealing with some mental health issues. Oh boy, this was all new. Funny how he hadn't mentioned any of this during our previous conversations. Great, I was so not paying for this date. Was this guy for real? He thought he was God's gift to women...NOT!
The whole time his pants kept falling down. It was ridiculous. I think he thought it was sexy. Given how dirty his clothes were...I didn't even want to go there if you know what I mean. He commented that I looked really good and better than my picture. Damn right! My pictures are recent and I took the time to dress appropriately and shower before the date.
Ultimately after playing a couple of games, I told him I was done. From the look on his face I could tell he knew exactly what I meant, but had the gall to comment that he thought I liked sex.
Me: "I do very much, but only with the right person."
I headed straight for the door. He stayed behind to pay. Typically I would offer, but I was beyond pissed off. Not to mention that in my books if you ask me out, you're paying. We walked out to the parking lot and he asked if he was at least going to get a kiss good night. OMG!!! My bitch face must have surfaced because he quickly headed for his car. I said good night and left.
Unbelievable. What planet do these men come from? Give your head a shake. Wow! I have nothing else to say.
Dateless in Ottawa
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