Several of my friends have ventured into the murky waters of online dating so I get to sit back and listen to their stories. Why go online when I can live vicariously through them?
I took a girlfriend out for lunch to celebrate her birthday and she confessed she went back online. She'd been in a relationship for over a year and sadly it came to an abrupt end just days before her birthday. I could sympathize, something similar happened to me years ago with the guy calling me the morning of my birthday party to tell me he'd cheated and it was over. Made for a great party with all of his friends there. It was aweful, we fought the entire night. He couldn't back out of the party since his friends were coming and it was too late to cancel. We tried to play good hosts, but failed miserably. Next time I'll just cancel and tell everyone why.
Anyways. I asked her how things were going with the online dating.
Me: "So, have you had any dates? How's it going?"
Her: "OMG, after about a week I had to hide my profile. I'm not sure I can do this. First of all it's all the same guys that have been on there for years and then there's all the creeps."
Me: "I'll be you have some good stories already."
Her: "Ha, ha, where do I start? This one guy asked me out for pizza. He was emailing on and off then texting and we finally picked a day. He was supposed to pick me up. About an hour before he was supposed to come and get me he texts."
Him: "So, do I bring my overnight bag?"
Me: "Are you kidding me? How old is this guy? Your first date and this is what he asks you?"
Her: "I know right? I wrote back, "No, absolutely not." Well he didn't show up, then 2 hours later he texts to tell me I can meet up with him at the bar he's at if I feel like it. Ok buddy, I'll be right there. NOT!"
Me: "Have you had any unusual dates?"
Her: "Get a hold of this one. I met a guy at IKEA."
Me: "IKEA? Ok, A+ for originality I suppose."
Her: "Yeah, hold on. So he wanted to meet for wine and suggests IKEA. I thought really, they don't sell wine at IKEA? He insisted they did and it would be fun. Whatever, I could do some shopping while I was there. So we met and it was awkward. We go to the restaurant to get some wine and surprise, surprise, they don't sell wine. Oh well, I had a beer instead and you're not going to believe what he got."
Me: "A beer too, obviously."
Her: "No, chocolate milk."
Me: "What? Are you kidding?"
Her: "I wish, but wait it gets better. So we're sitting on a couch trying to make small talk, but it was painfully obvious we had nothing in common. He was a teacher and his hobby is being a busker that juggles on stilts. I tried to be polite, but it was really weird with people walking by and others wanting to check out the tag on the couch."
Me: "Tag on the couch? Were you not sitting in the restaurant? I don't remember couches in the restaurant."
Her: "Oh no, he didn't want to sit in the restaurant. He thought it would be way more fun to sit in a show room."
Me: "What? OMG!" At this point I could not contain my laugher. I can just picture her sitting there on a show room couch with some guy sipping away on his little carton of chocolate milk having to move over every time someone needed to see the product tag.
Her: "Yeah, so that's how well it's going. Remember the psycho from 3 years ago?"
Me: "Oh no, not him?" This guy was stalking her, showing up at her house and work. It was really bad and he kept it up even when she was with her boyfriend who finally had to intervene and threaten to call the police and get a restraining order.
Her: "Oh yes, the one and only. I told him I wasn't interested and he is not to contact me again."
Me: "No wonder you've hidden your profile. Be careful with that one."
Wow, some things never change. Another girlfriend also decided to try it out and after receiving numerous messages soliciting sex, she deleted her profile. Oh well, I'll just offer an ear or a shoulder to cry on while listening to their stories. Can't wait for our next girl's night to hear more about their adventures in online dating.
Take care!
Dateless in Ottawa
