It was my birthday the week before and our schedules aligned so he said he was coming over to make me dinner. He thought afterwards we'd watch the game or a movie, maybe go for drinks. I decided to surprise him and head over to the Nordik instead so I told him to bring his bathing suit and some flip flops.
We had dinner and he cleaned up. I told him to pack his bathing suit and flip flops, we had to go.
Him: "Where are we going? Is one of your neighbours going to let us swim in their pool?"
Me: "Nope, you're driving. We'll take my truck."
Him: "What? Where do these people live, can't we just walk over?"
Me: "Are you telling me you don't want to drive my truck?"
Him: "Hell no, I thought you'd never ask! You'll have to give me directions, let's go."
It was driving him crazy that he didn't know where we were going. Funny how guys seem to feel uncomfortable when they're driving and don't know what the final destination is. It was amusing to see him so concerned and frustrated trying to figure out where I was taking him.
Him: "Come on, tell me where we're going."
Me: "Why? Don't you trust me? We always have fun, are you doubting me now?"
Him: "No, but I want to know where we're going."
Me: "Hey, I managed to take you out of your comfort zone! This is awesome, never thought I'd manage that. Fine Mr. Party Pooper, we're going to the Nordik."
Him: "Really, are you serious? I've never been there."
Me: "I know, I figured this would be more fun than watching the game or a movie."
From the moment we arrived he was in awe as he looked around. Thankfully it was really quiet for a Friday night. I love it there. Perfect place to escape and relax. We got our towels, changed and headed out to the baths. It was a gorgeous night with a sky full of starts. I figured we should start with the Panorama pool since we can talk there and it was almost empty. He seemed to really like it, all his worries were washed away now that he knew where we were! Lol
Not long after we go there, another couple arrived and came into the Panorama pool. We were sitting off to the side and there was no one else so plenty of room for others to sit. All of a sudden I pulled him towards me because the guy was going to sit on him.
Him: "What the hell? The entire bench is empty on that side, did you have to come and sit on me?"
The guy was in another world and just sat down right next to him then started to shift over towards Mr. HVAC until he was touching him. His wife/girlfriend didn't say anything either and just plopped down next to him. I was shocked. I couldn't contain my laughter. And the couple just sits there like nothing happened.
Me: "I guess we'll just move over to the other side. Thank you very much."
Still no apology or acknowledgment. They sat there stone faced. We went to sit over on the opposite side.
Me: "Unbelievable. I think he likes you."
Him: "That's not funny. I can't believe this, what an ass. Is he blind, like seriously. The place is empty and he has to come and sit on me?"
Me: "Yup, he likes you. Just think, both sexes find you attractive. What a compliment! Lol"
Him: "I'm not amused. Unf------ believable, my first time here. Can we go somewhere else? I don't want to stay here anywhere near that freak and they better not follow us."
Me: "Welcome to the Nordik, you've been officially initiated."
Him: "Has anything like that ever happened to you?"
Me: "Nope."
We left and headed to the sauna. There were a few people in there, but the second level was empty so we sat up there. An older couple came in just after us and they also climbed onto the second level. All of a sudden I hear, "Hey, what the hell?"
The woman pretty much put her head into my date's lap. Several of us in the sauna were stunned. I tried really hard not to laugh, but OMG it was too much. The woman didn't even apologize, she looked annoyed. Her husband got up and went to sit on the lower level. It was the weirdest thing. Then she sits right across from my date and spreads her legs. Let's just say she doesn't groom extensively so it was less than appealing to look at. One woman looked over at us and shrugged her shoulders as is to ask "What is she doing?", then a few people next to us go up and left. I was speechless and trying really, really hard not to laugh.
OMG, I'm laughing so hard now I can barely type! Just remembering the look on his face was priceless. As if the incident in the pool wasn't bad enough, this one took the cake. I wish I would've video taped it. Talk about great submission for America's Funniest Videos. OMG! It might have been a full moon that night, I should check! Lol
Him: "This is ridiculous. WTF? Where did you bring me? Was this staged? Holy shit, I'm outta here let's go."
We left the sauna and I tried to think of where we could go where he'd be safe! Lol
Me: "I'm sorry, I can't believe this. Wow, I've never seen anything likes this and not once but twice in the same night! Usually it's pretty crowded so I can see how someone might accidentally sit on you. Tonight it's quiet and there's tons of room I don't get it. What cologne are you wearing, maybe you're attracting them?"
Him: "Funny, really funny. That was disgusting. I think the couple in the pool were looking for a threesome or a foursome, damn freaks. And what was up with the couple in the sauna? Was she kidding me? Everyone next to us noticed too and people started leaving. I can't believe her husband didn't say anything, he just goes off and sits somewhere else. She doesn't even apologize."
We went into another pool away from everyone else. It was nice and quiet under the stars. We talked about work and the kids. He seemed to calm down and finally relax. He was quite traumatized. I felt so bad, but it was absolutely hilarious. Just then an employee from the Nordik comes over and shushes us. She was even wearing a sign saying to be quite. That was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Him: "Are you f------ kidding me? I'm a grown adult, the damn place is empty and I can't have a quiet conversation? We're whispering. There's no one else in this damn pool, who are we disturbing? That's it, we're leaving I've had enough!"
Off to the change rooms. We met up in the lobby and headed home. He was still traumatized and pissed off. I drove.
Me: "I'm really sorry. You've never been, I thought it would be nice for you to relax and check it out. I don't understand, I come here often and I've never had anything like that happen to me nor have I seen it happen to anyone else. Talk about being broken in!"
Him: "You're enjoying this, aren't you? Nice, very nice. I'm going to be scarred for life!"
I burst out laughing. He was a good sport and didn't take it too personally. If the roles were reversed he'd be laughing his ass off at me for sure. When we got home I realized I had the wrong bath robe. Shit, my credit card was in the pocket too! Served me right for laughing at him all night, this was my pay back and yes he laughed at me. I had to go back the next day, but I got my robe and credit card back so all was well with the world.
Needless to say, even if he was bit a scarred and traumatized I actually managed to drag him out there again. The next time things went much better. We had a great time so now we look forward to the sun, moon and stars aligning so we can plan another night at the Nordik!
Awesome date! A man cooked me dinner, cleaned up and then I got to laugh all night long. You can't do better than that! If only all my online dating adventures were this much fun.
Dateless in Ottawa
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