More options for meeting people.
1. Singles Events:
Just as I was sitting around moping, a girl friend called and asked me if I'd like to join her at a singles event. I was intrigued. She told me it was at a grocery store. A friend of hers was a dating coach with a blog and she organized singles events. What did I have to lose? As a mom, going to the grocery store was a routine requirement so the thought of incorporating a singles event into a regular necessity piqued my curiosity. If nothing else, I'd get to check out a new grocery store! Who hasn't heard a story about finding love in a grocery store? Never happened to me, but hey there's a first time for everything. I was excited, this would be fun.
The night of the event I met my girl friend at Whole Foods. We were kind of lost and unsure where to go or what to expect, but once we got upstairs she found her friend and off we went. It was an interesting concept and the store had graciously set up various stations with all kinds of samples. The brownies were to die for and the chocolate fondue station with beautiful fresh strawberries was a huge hit with many participants lingering there for a good long while. Personally the cheese and brownie stations were my areas of choice! Lol
I was impressed with the cleanliness of the store and the selection of products. They had many items I had never seen at the grocery stores I frequented regularly. The sales staff were extremely knowledgeable about the products, helpful and very pleasant.
Sadly there were far more women than men in attendance, but I had a great time. It was a night out, a change of scenery, I met a few new people (Ok so they were all women, but networking is a good thing!), did my grocery shopping and found some neat new items to try out. Afterwards, me and my girl friend went to Joey's for a bite and drinks so bonus. All in all it was a great experience and I would definitely do it again and recommend it to others. If ever you have the chance to participate, I say go for it. Go into it with low expectations. It's hard to predict how many people will attend or what the ratio of men to women will be, but view it as a night out and have fun. With door prizes and samples it just adds to the experience and allows you to break out of the usual routine.
2. Dating Services
I had overheard conversations at work about people signing up with dating services, so I figured I'd check it out. The prices can run quite high with these agencies, but if they have a good reputation and testimonials who knows? The initial consultation at most of these companies is free so you get an opportunity to feel them out while asking lots of questions before signing up. I was floored at what some of these companies charge. Holy cow, I might need a second job to pay to find love!
It's late so I'll fill you in on my experience with one of these services in my next post. Gotta keep you hanging! Lol
Dateless in Ottawa
Sunday 29 May 2016
Saturday 21 May 2016
Options for meeting people
After all that time, work and effort invested into online dating I was right back where I started; very single and lonely. Where do forty something year-old single parents go to meet other singles? How do you meet people? Are there any other options besides online dating?
So many questions, but very few answers. Most of my friends are married - happily married and no they don't have any single brothers or relatives they can introduce me to. Work is not an option. I don't believe in playing in my own backyard because if things go wrong, you're stuck seeing the person daily. How awkward would that be? Not to mention depending on what positions you hold at work, it could be viewed as a conflict of interest. I'm also a private person so I don't need to put my personal life on display at work or create distractions.
I needed help! Time to let Google do the work. So I do a search entitled "Where do forty something year-olds meet others?"
What came up?
1. Church
I go to church once in a while, but to be honest my congregation has a very high percentage of seniors and the rest is mainly composed of young families with children. Can't say I've noticed many single men, at least not in my acceptable age bracket. Perhaps if I went more often???
2. Market/Grocery store
With 4 growing kids, I practically live at the grocery store. Costco, Loblaws, IGA, Super C, Whole Foods, Luciano's, Provigo, Independent, Food Basics...you name it I've been there! Heck I should buy shares!!! Can't say I've ever met anyone while doing groceries. There was one time where a guy was following me around and totally freaked me out. He finally caught up to me at the cash and said, "I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I just had to tell you that I love your hair! Have a great night." Actually now that I think back, he was really cute. Extremely tall, probably 6'5 with curly red hair plus he was in his military uniform, what more could a woman ask for? Never did see him again. I do go late at night which is when they claim singles tend to go to avoid the crowds, but even then it's not uncommon for me to have the store to myself! More often than not I run into the parents of my kids' friends and they're all taken.
3. Bars
I'll go out clubbing once in a while with girl friends to celebrate a birthday, go out for a drink to unwind after a crazy week or to vent, but it certainly isn't something we do often. Most of the time we look around and feel way too old to be there. Then you have to deal with the two extremes - drunk 20 something year olds trying to pick you up or 60 something year olds trying to pick you up. I'll pass on both thanks!
4. Work
I already mentioned how I feel about this. Not for me!
5. Online
Given my numerous attempts, I consider myself an expert who can state without any reservations that it has not worked for me. I do have several friends that have met their significant others and/or spouses on there, but that luck still eludes me. Yes, I did meet a few nice guys but sadly it wasn't meant to be.
6. Friends
Yes, a great place to start but most don't have family or friends that are single and looking. Friends certainly do know you well, sometimes better than you know yourself so they would be great at match making if they happen to come across someone who's single and available. This could remain a viable option, time will tell.
7. Restaurants
Being a foody, going out to restaurants is not an issue. I'm also the type that if I'm craving something and none of my friends want to go, I'll go by myself. There have been countless occasions when I've taken myself out for breakfast, lunch and/or dinner and I'm not talking McDonalds. Thai, Indian, Sushi, Fusion, Szechwan, you name it I like it and I'll venture into the unknown without hesitation. Have I ever had the pleasure of meeting someone? Nope, can't say I have. I'll keep trying, after all it is more enjoyable to eat in the company of another.
8. Gym/Sporting activites
Whether it be a club or gym membership or an organized team sport, I've done it all. Softball, dodge ball, yoga, aerobics....nope, haven't met any men here either. At yoga and aerobics I rarely see men. At other sports it's common for huband and wife/boyfriend and girlfriend to join together, or the guys are too young, too old or gay.
9. Vacation
I travel frequently and I've met a few guys, but sadly they were married or simply looking for a way to immigrate to Canada! Funny how it's usually the married ones that hit on you. On my recent trip to the DR, the guy that was transporting us to the airport offered to leave his wife if I agreed to stay and move in with him. No thanks, I'll pass cause chances are he'll do the exact same thing to me when he meets the next single young lady on a trip to the airport.
10. School
I'm so done with school it's not funny. Can't imagine going back. A friend suggested I sign up for a Masters Degree cause I'd meet older men with money. She could very well be right, but having to study, take notes, complete assignments and write exams are currently very unappealing to me. Free or low cost general interest courses I would consider, but a Masters degree is a bit too expensive and time consuming to undertake as a means for meeting a man.
11. Park
Well, going to the park with my 4 year-old more than likely isn't going draw men to me like magnets. Sadly most of the men there are married or I'm surrounded by Moms so this hasn't worked for me. I do go cycling or on long walks and spend time at Lake Leamy worshipping the sun, but I haven't met any men there either.
12. Parties
Given the work I do, attending events and receptions are a regular occurrence. I very much enjoy going to these events, meeting new people and being exposed to a variety of cultures and foods. It would be more fun if I had a date! Once in a while I'll bring a friend whether male or female, but more often than not I wind up going alone and leaving alone.
Friends have house parties and invite others I don't know, but more often than not it's mostly couples and me the odd ball!
Birthday parties for kids are also very common, but less likely to be a viable venue to meet a single guy as again it's mostly couples or Moms accompanying their kids.
13. Interest groups/clubs
I attend gallery events, museum opennings, fashion shows, information sessions and seminars. Funny, but lately I'm surprised at how many gay men attend these events. I find they tend to be more interested in the arts so less likely I'll meet a potential mate there. I won't throw in the towel on this one since these events do come up regularly and there have to be straight guys that appreciate the arts too!
14. Bus stop
I can't remember the last time I took a bus, so this one definitely won't work for me! While I was touring around the Philippines, I was on numerous buses, but there were mostly couples on the tour so not luck there either.
Google wasn't the most helpful so I'll have to do a bit more research and solicit my friends for suggestions.
Thanks for reading!
Dateless in Ottawa
So many questions, but very few answers. Most of my friends are married - happily married and no they don't have any single brothers or relatives they can introduce me to. Work is not an option. I don't believe in playing in my own backyard because if things go wrong, you're stuck seeing the person daily. How awkward would that be? Not to mention depending on what positions you hold at work, it could be viewed as a conflict of interest. I'm also a private person so I don't need to put my personal life on display at work or create distractions.
I needed help! Time to let Google do the work. So I do a search entitled "Where do forty something year-olds meet others?"
What came up?
1. Church
I go to church once in a while, but to be honest my congregation has a very high percentage of seniors and the rest is mainly composed of young families with children. Can't say I've noticed many single men, at least not in my acceptable age bracket. Perhaps if I went more often???
2. Market/Grocery store
With 4 growing kids, I practically live at the grocery store. Costco, Loblaws, IGA, Super C, Whole Foods, Luciano's, Provigo, Independent, Food Basics...you name it I've been there! Heck I should buy shares!!! Can't say I've ever met anyone while doing groceries. There was one time where a guy was following me around and totally freaked me out. He finally caught up to me at the cash and said, "I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I just had to tell you that I love your hair! Have a great night." Actually now that I think back, he was really cute. Extremely tall, probably 6'5 with curly red hair plus he was in his military uniform, what more could a woman ask for? Never did see him again. I do go late at night which is when they claim singles tend to go to avoid the crowds, but even then it's not uncommon for me to have the store to myself! More often than not I run into the parents of my kids' friends and they're all taken.
3. Bars
I'll go out clubbing once in a while with girl friends to celebrate a birthday, go out for a drink to unwind after a crazy week or to vent, but it certainly isn't something we do often. Most of the time we look around and feel way too old to be there. Then you have to deal with the two extremes - drunk 20 something year olds trying to pick you up or 60 something year olds trying to pick you up. I'll pass on both thanks!
4. Work
I already mentioned how I feel about this. Not for me!
5. Online
Given my numerous attempts, I consider myself an expert who can state without any reservations that it has not worked for me. I do have several friends that have met their significant others and/or spouses on there, but that luck still eludes me. Yes, I did meet a few nice guys but sadly it wasn't meant to be.
6. Friends
Yes, a great place to start but most don't have family or friends that are single and looking. Friends certainly do know you well, sometimes better than you know yourself so they would be great at match making if they happen to come across someone who's single and available. This could remain a viable option, time will tell.
7. Restaurants
Being a foody, going out to restaurants is not an issue. I'm also the type that if I'm craving something and none of my friends want to go, I'll go by myself. There have been countless occasions when I've taken myself out for breakfast, lunch and/or dinner and I'm not talking McDonalds. Thai, Indian, Sushi, Fusion, Szechwan, you name it I like it and I'll venture into the unknown without hesitation. Have I ever had the pleasure of meeting someone? Nope, can't say I have. I'll keep trying, after all it is more enjoyable to eat in the company of another.
8. Gym/Sporting activites
Whether it be a club or gym membership or an organized team sport, I've done it all. Softball, dodge ball, yoga, aerobics....nope, haven't met any men here either. At yoga and aerobics I rarely see men. At other sports it's common for huband and wife/boyfriend and girlfriend to join together, or the guys are too young, too old or gay.
9. Vacation
I travel frequently and I've met a few guys, but sadly they were married or simply looking for a way to immigrate to Canada! Funny how it's usually the married ones that hit on you. On my recent trip to the DR, the guy that was transporting us to the airport offered to leave his wife if I agreed to stay and move in with him. No thanks, I'll pass cause chances are he'll do the exact same thing to me when he meets the next single young lady on a trip to the airport.
10. School
I'm so done with school it's not funny. Can't imagine going back. A friend suggested I sign up for a Masters Degree cause I'd meet older men with money. She could very well be right, but having to study, take notes, complete assignments and write exams are currently very unappealing to me. Free or low cost general interest courses I would consider, but a Masters degree is a bit too expensive and time consuming to undertake as a means for meeting a man.
11. Park
Well, going to the park with my 4 year-old more than likely isn't going draw men to me like magnets. Sadly most of the men there are married or I'm surrounded by Moms so this hasn't worked for me. I do go cycling or on long walks and spend time at Lake Leamy worshipping the sun, but I haven't met any men there either.
12. Parties
Given the work I do, attending events and receptions are a regular occurrence. I very much enjoy going to these events, meeting new people and being exposed to a variety of cultures and foods. It would be more fun if I had a date! Once in a while I'll bring a friend whether male or female, but more often than not I wind up going alone and leaving alone.
Friends have house parties and invite others I don't know, but more often than not it's mostly couples and me the odd ball!
Birthday parties for kids are also very common, but less likely to be a viable venue to meet a single guy as again it's mostly couples or Moms accompanying their kids.
13. Interest groups/clubs
I attend gallery events, museum opennings, fashion shows, information sessions and seminars. Funny, but lately I'm surprised at how many gay men attend these events. I find they tend to be more interested in the arts so less likely I'll meet a potential mate there. I won't throw in the towel on this one since these events do come up regularly and there have to be straight guys that appreciate the arts too!
14. Bus stop
I can't remember the last time I took a bus, so this one definitely won't work for me! While I was touring around the Philippines, I was on numerous buses, but there were mostly couples on the tour so not luck there either.
Google wasn't the most helpful so I'll have to do a bit more research and solicit my friends for suggestions.
Thanks for reading!
Dateless in Ottawa
Sunday 15 May 2016
Harsh Lessons learned from Online Dating
Sadly as I look over my notes and numerous posts, I'm astonished at how many men I interacted with and/or met. We won't even mention the numerous others I didn't write about. Here I was still very single and alone. Some quick stats to further depress me:
Number of men I interacted with = 103
Number of men I actually met = 56 (never imagined I'd meet this many)
Number of men that were married (these were confirmed, but there's probably a lot more) = 17
Number of men I met that didn't look anything like their profile picture = 24
Number of men that lied about their height = 17
Number of men that lied about being employed or their job = 14
Using only the number of men I actually met, this translates into the following stats.
Percentage of men that were actually married when they claimed to be single/divorced = 30%
Percentage of men that were dishonest about their height = 30%
Percentage of men that were dishonest about their appearance = 43%
Percentage of men that were dishonest about being employed or their profession = 25%
These numbers are very disappointing. Talk about adding insult to injury! I truly don't understand why men have to be so dishonest. Sooner or late the truth always comes out. What a waste of time and energy.
Top 3 Harsh Realities of Online Dating:
1. Many of the men using online dating are dishonest.
2. If it looks or sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
3. Your ego will take a shit kicking.
So, what did online dating teach me?
1. Never judge a book by its cover.
2. In general, most people are dishonest.
3. Keep your expectations low.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. Be kind.
6. Don't make assumptions.
7. No matter what, be true to yourself and don't settle.
8. Trust no one.
9. You need to grow a thick skin.
10. Online dating is not for the faint of heart!
So much for those articles that claimed someone would have to meet at least 100 potential suitors before finding "the one." I think they need to conduct a new study and update these statistics. Mind you, they would probably argue that I only met 56 of these guys in person so I still have another 44 to go. How daunting! Given my track record, that doesn't leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling. I was already suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. Any further subjection to this cruel and unusual punishment could lead to a requirement for long-term professional help!
No way I was in any condition to continue with online dating. I had to find other options. Unfortunately most of my girlfriends don't have single and available brothers, cousins, friends, colleagues, etc. At this age most of them are married, not suitable for various reasons or simply aren't interested in settling down because they're having way too much fun. Talking with friends we laughed at the fact that amoung other factors we further have take into consideration the number of men over 55 and the number of gay men which greatly reduce the number of available single men. The odds appeared to be stacked against me. Maybe moving to Fort McMurray would be a more viable option??? According to research, it's supposed to have the highest ratio of single men to single women in Canada. Who knows! Regardless, I came to the realization that I needed a break from online dating.
Where do forty-something year old single parents hang out? I'd have to start all over again. There has to be something other than online dating. I needed time to gather my thoughts and figure out what the next step would be.
Thanks for reading. For those of you still using online dating, good luck. Remember - be honest, it goes a long way.
Dateless in Ottawa
Number of men I interacted with = 103
Number of men I actually met = 56 (never imagined I'd meet this many)
Number of men that were married (these were confirmed, but there's probably a lot more) = 17
Number of men I met that didn't look anything like their profile picture = 24
Number of men that lied about their height = 17
Number of men that lied about being employed or their job = 14
Using only the number of men I actually met, this translates into the following stats.
Percentage of men that were actually married when they claimed to be single/divorced = 30%
Percentage of men that were dishonest about their height = 30%
Percentage of men that were dishonest about their appearance = 43%
Percentage of men that were dishonest about being employed or their profession = 25%
These numbers are very disappointing. Talk about adding insult to injury! I truly don't understand why men have to be so dishonest. Sooner or late the truth always comes out. What a waste of time and energy.
Top 3 Harsh Realities of Online Dating:
1. Many of the men using online dating are dishonest.
2. If it looks or sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
3. Your ego will take a shit kicking.
So, what did online dating teach me?
1. Never judge a book by its cover.
2. In general, most people are dishonest.
3. Keep your expectations low.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. Be kind.
6. Don't make assumptions.
7. No matter what, be true to yourself and don't settle.
8. Trust no one.
9. You need to grow a thick skin.
10. Online dating is not for the faint of heart!
So much for those articles that claimed someone would have to meet at least 100 potential suitors before finding "the one." I think they need to conduct a new study and update these statistics. Mind you, they would probably argue that I only met 56 of these guys in person so I still have another 44 to go. How daunting! Given my track record, that doesn't leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling. I was already suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. Any further subjection to this cruel and unusual punishment could lead to a requirement for long-term professional help!
No way I was in any condition to continue with online dating. I had to find other options. Unfortunately most of my girlfriends don't have single and available brothers, cousins, friends, colleagues, etc. At this age most of them are married, not suitable for various reasons or simply aren't interested in settling down because they're having way too much fun. Talking with friends we laughed at the fact that amoung other factors we further have take into consideration the number of men over 55 and the number of gay men which greatly reduce the number of available single men. The odds appeared to be stacked against me. Maybe moving to Fort McMurray would be a more viable option??? According to research, it's supposed to have the highest ratio of single men to single women in Canada. Who knows! Regardless, I came to the realization that I needed a break from online dating.
Where do forty-something year old single parents hang out? I'd have to start all over again. There has to be something other than online dating. I needed time to gather my thoughts and figure out what the next step would be.
Thanks for reading. For those of you still using online dating, good luck. Remember - be honest, it goes a long way.
Dateless in Ottawa
Wednesday 11 May 2016
Random knowledge
As negative as some of my experiences with online dating were, I learned tons of stuff from the men I dated. These tid bits of information would prove to be very helpful in various aspects of my life. I thrive on learning new things and pushing the limits on my abilities. Tell me I can't do something and I'll prove you wrong! In my opinion, knowledge is power and you can never learn too much. Being able to do something I've never done before is a huge accomplishment. I've even surprised and/or impressed my Dad, that's huge for me.
Being a single Mom, I don't have a man around to do the things we typically categorize as "male stuff" and with Dad living far away I'm impatient. I also hate bothering other people so this usually means I have to do whatever it is by myself. I'm actually pretty handy. My parents did a great job of making sure me and my sister could do pretty much anything that needed to be done, but once in a while I'm faced with a new challenge I've never had to deal with before. My biggest shortfall is not having the right tools. Don't ask me to name them either. Screw drivers, drills and hammers I have down pat, I'll even identify some of the different bits but that's about it. Men laugh when I ask them if they have that "do hickie" or "thing a ma jigger" you use to loosen a nut or the tool that looks kind of like scissors, but it's long and pointy. Hey, at least I'm describing it in such a way that they should somehow visualize what I'm talking about...or not! Lol Worst case I have to draw it or be more specific in terms of what it is exactly I'm trying to do.
Some of this stuff I learned by watching my dates perform minor repairs at their place and asking lots of questions. Other times it was by listening to them explain things or trouble shoot with their friends over the phone or in person. Amazing what you learn when you listen and pay attention!
What did I learn?
Construction related stuff:
1. Windows
Very handy when all of a sudden I had to change all the windows at home. Who would have known there were that many different kinds and styles. Double pane, single pane, crank, hinged, etc... my goodness. When I heard "Double Hung" I thought yeah, very funny dude we're not taking about how well endowed you are! Women are often made to feel stupid when it comes to construction, cars or guy stuff. Low and behold double hung is a type of window. Didn't I feel dumb! By the way, they are the best ever and so easy to clean. I'd make a great sales person, I tell everyone about them.
2. Plumbing
How to change a faucet, extremely handy. Since then, I've successfully replaced shower heads and figured out all I had to do was replace the gasket or even easier - the Teflon tape! Never knew what a gasket or Teflon tape were, I do now!
Changing a toilet! I could totally do it, the only problem being that I can't lift the bowl and tank. They are way too heavy and not for lack of trying. On a positive note, I did manage to buy everything I needed to get the job done all by myself! Even turned off the water and completely drained the toilet. I know my limits and once in a while we have to admit defeat!
3. Light fixtures
The different colours of wires and what a ground is. It was so much easier than I thought. Who says a woman can't learn these things? One very important piece of advice...make sure the power is turned off! Sadly I learned this the hard way. Lol!
Electrical stuff can be tricky, make sure you know where the electrical panel is and how to turn off the breakers. Equally important is to know what breaker controls what part of the house! I labelled everything so should never run into trouble again.
4. Door bell
After successfully dealing with light fixtures, this one I taught myself. It took three attempts, but I finally got it to work! The instructions were all wrong. Once I threw them out, played around and reconfigured the wires, I managed to get it to work! I was so proud of this one. There was no way I was going to call someone to trouble shoot. Determination paid off.
There's so much more, but I'll save it for another post! Happy reading and have a great night.
Dateless in Ottawa
Being a single Mom, I don't have a man around to do the things we typically categorize as "male stuff" and with Dad living far away I'm impatient. I also hate bothering other people so this usually means I have to do whatever it is by myself. I'm actually pretty handy. My parents did a great job of making sure me and my sister could do pretty much anything that needed to be done, but once in a while I'm faced with a new challenge I've never had to deal with before. My biggest shortfall is not having the right tools. Don't ask me to name them either. Screw drivers, drills and hammers I have down pat, I'll even identify some of the different bits but that's about it. Men laugh when I ask them if they have that "do hickie" or "thing a ma jigger" you use to loosen a nut or the tool that looks kind of like scissors, but it's long and pointy. Hey, at least I'm describing it in such a way that they should somehow visualize what I'm talking about...or not! Lol Worst case I have to draw it or be more specific in terms of what it is exactly I'm trying to do.
Some of this stuff I learned by watching my dates perform minor repairs at their place and asking lots of questions. Other times it was by listening to them explain things or trouble shoot with their friends over the phone or in person. Amazing what you learn when you listen and pay attention!
What did I learn?
Construction related stuff:
1. Windows
Very handy when all of a sudden I had to change all the windows at home. Who would have known there were that many different kinds and styles. Double pane, single pane, crank, hinged, etc... my goodness. When I heard "Double Hung" I thought yeah, very funny dude we're not taking about how well endowed you are! Women are often made to feel stupid when it comes to construction, cars or guy stuff. Low and behold double hung is a type of window. Didn't I feel dumb! By the way, they are the best ever and so easy to clean. I'd make a great sales person, I tell everyone about them.
2. Plumbing
How to change a faucet, extremely handy. Since then, I've successfully replaced shower heads and figured out all I had to do was replace the gasket or even easier - the Teflon tape! Never knew what a gasket or Teflon tape were, I do now!
Changing a toilet! I could totally do it, the only problem being that I can't lift the bowl and tank. They are way too heavy and not for lack of trying. On a positive note, I did manage to buy everything I needed to get the job done all by myself! Even turned off the water and completely drained the toilet. I know my limits and once in a while we have to admit defeat!
3. Light fixtures
The different colours of wires and what a ground is. It was so much easier than I thought. Who says a woman can't learn these things? One very important piece of advice...make sure the power is turned off! Sadly I learned this the hard way. Lol!
Electrical stuff can be tricky, make sure you know where the electrical panel is and how to turn off the breakers. Equally important is to know what breaker controls what part of the house! I labelled everything so should never run into trouble again.
4. Door bell
After successfully dealing with light fixtures, this one I taught myself. It took three attempts, but I finally got it to work! The instructions were all wrong. Once I threw them out, played around and reconfigured the wires, I managed to get it to work! I was so proud of this one. There was no way I was going to call someone to trouble shoot. Determination paid off.
There's so much more, but I'll save it for another post! Happy reading and have a great night.
Dateless in Ottawa
Sunday 8 May 2016
Recovering from jet lag
Online dating was quite the trip! Kind of like suffering from major jet lack when returning home from a holiday in Asia. I was feeling disoriented, confused, sad, disappointed, angry, hurt, dazed, frustrated, defeated and felt like a failure. As I looked back on my online dating misadventures what stood out most was how lonely I felt. After putting in a concerted effort into trying to find love using online dating on and off for almost 5 years, I was at the exact same place where I started....single and alone. I was worn and battered, not to mention older.
I reminisced about being married. How proud I was to wear my engagement and wedding bands. They were a part of me and were a symbol of all the things I cherished most - family, love, security, happiness, devotion, fidelity, respect, the fairy tale ending most little girls dream of. Marriage isn't always perfect or easy, but it was a wonderful feeling to be a part of something so special. While I was writing this I saw the movie "Just the Way you Are." I cried. It brought back so many memories. At times you think your significant other is too wrapped up in their work and activities to remember the little things that make you feel special, to behave and demonstrate through actions that he cares. Suddenly out of the blue he surprises you and makes you feel like a million bucks! It doesn't take much, but it means the world to you. Coincidental that the main character also loved Lilies of the Valley. Rare tiny bell shaped flowers with a delicate scent that only bloom once a year for a couple of weeks, usually around Mother's Day. Life with all of it's responsibilities like work and children can sometimes get in the way, but with some creativity and effort, we can surprise our significant other and inject some sparks into the relationship.
I truly miss doing those special things to let my significant other know how much he means to me. Planning surprises, having date nights, laughing, while at work being anxious and looking forward to getting home to see my man, sending flirty texts to let him know I was thinking about him. A note in an unexpected place, a card in the mail, a friend showing up to deliver a special message and act as a facilitator. It was fun and exciting. When you finally see each other your eyes lock, you feel weak in the knees and you're filled with this overwhelming desire. When you touch, you melt into each other and become one. This is what I want and need, what I missed more than anything. Even when there were disagreements or things did get bad, there was make up sex! You don't get that when you're alone. Battery operated boyfriends are a tad overrated! Lol Was I being unrealistic? Were my expectations to high? Maybe a little, ok alot. Who was I kidding?
Online dating had the ability to deal you a harsh dose of reality. It often came spiked with cruelty and dishonesty with a generous serving of disrespect. Not recommended for the faint of heart. If you're not careful, it can turn even the kindest most naïve and gentle soul into a cold heartless individual. Sadly the bad experiences far outweighed the positive ones. I tried to focus on the good, but it was hard.
I started spending more time with family and friends. Thinking about my life and all the things I had to be grateful for. Focusing on me and my needs and worrying less about the kids. They were growing and becoming more and more independent every day. I had to make more time for me without feeling guilty. This was part of the journey. The break from online dating would give me time to heal and rediscover myself. I had changed over the years and I needed to get to know the new me. It was also time to explore other options for meeting people and putting myself out there. At any given time there were millions of single people around the world finding their mates. How did they do it? Was there anything new out there? What kinds of services could facilitate finding a mate? This would become my new project while distracting me from all the negative feelings I had amassed from my online dating experiences.
For those of you still using online dating, I commend you. It has the potential to work and I wish you all the best.
Dateless in Ottawa
I reminisced about being married. How proud I was to wear my engagement and wedding bands. They were a part of me and were a symbol of all the things I cherished most - family, love, security, happiness, devotion, fidelity, respect, the fairy tale ending most little girls dream of. Marriage isn't always perfect or easy, but it was a wonderful feeling to be a part of something so special. While I was writing this I saw the movie "Just the Way you Are." I cried. It brought back so many memories. At times you think your significant other is too wrapped up in their work and activities to remember the little things that make you feel special, to behave and demonstrate through actions that he cares. Suddenly out of the blue he surprises you and makes you feel like a million bucks! It doesn't take much, but it means the world to you. Coincidental that the main character also loved Lilies of the Valley. Rare tiny bell shaped flowers with a delicate scent that only bloom once a year for a couple of weeks, usually around Mother's Day. Life with all of it's responsibilities like work and children can sometimes get in the way, but with some creativity and effort, we can surprise our significant other and inject some sparks into the relationship.
I truly miss doing those special things to let my significant other know how much he means to me. Planning surprises, having date nights, laughing, while at work being anxious and looking forward to getting home to see my man, sending flirty texts to let him know I was thinking about him. A note in an unexpected place, a card in the mail, a friend showing up to deliver a special message and act as a facilitator. It was fun and exciting. When you finally see each other your eyes lock, you feel weak in the knees and you're filled with this overwhelming desire. When you touch, you melt into each other and become one. This is what I want and need, what I missed more than anything. Even when there were disagreements or things did get bad, there was make up sex! You don't get that when you're alone. Battery operated boyfriends are a tad overrated! Lol Was I being unrealistic? Were my expectations to high? Maybe a little, ok alot. Who was I kidding?
Online dating had the ability to deal you a harsh dose of reality. It often came spiked with cruelty and dishonesty with a generous serving of disrespect. Not recommended for the faint of heart. If you're not careful, it can turn even the kindest most naïve and gentle soul into a cold heartless individual. Sadly the bad experiences far outweighed the positive ones. I tried to focus on the good, but it was hard.
I started spending more time with family and friends. Thinking about my life and all the things I had to be grateful for. Focusing on me and my needs and worrying less about the kids. They were growing and becoming more and more independent every day. I had to make more time for me without feeling guilty. This was part of the journey. The break from online dating would give me time to heal and rediscover myself. I had changed over the years and I needed to get to know the new me. It was also time to explore other options for meeting people and putting myself out there. At any given time there were millions of single people around the world finding their mates. How did they do it? Was there anything new out there? What kinds of services could facilitate finding a mate? This would become my new project while distracting me from all the negative feelings I had amassed from my online dating experiences.
For those of you still using online dating, I commend you. It has the potential to work and I wish you all the best.
Dateless in Ottawa
Friday 6 May 2016
Round 32 - The straw that broke the camel's back! * warning adult content
I was tired and my ego was deflated. Actually, I think it would be more accurate so say my ego was stomped on and beaten to a pulp. Not sure there was anything left! How could I have possibly interacted with so many men and still be single? It seemed incomprehensible.
Sadly the usual emails soliciting sex continued to come in. There were other guys that emailed, but again I think they were looking for a pen pal, not a girlfriend. Others emailed fast and furious only to disappear just as suddenly as they had appeared. One day their profile was there, the next it was gone. The creative ones would try to re-invent themselves by changing their names, but were too stupid to use new pictures. As if people aren't going to recognize you when you keep using the exact same profile pictures???
My friends were supportive. They said good things were just around the corner. My perseverance would pay off eventually. One day I'd look back and laugh at all these bad experiences and appreciate the good all the more. I was skeptical, but I didn't think things could get any worse. I'd seen in all so nothing could surprise me at this point. It was a great source of entertainment, if nothing else.
Embarking on to the next round.
Round 32:
63. Mr. Insurance
He was bit older, 53, average height, with a stocky build. He had salt and pepper hair with blue eyes. He was divorced with 3 kids in joint custody. The country was where he lived and worked. Sports were high on his list of interests along with cooking.
His introductory email was sympathetic and filled with questions. Online dating had not been a pleasant experience for him either. He agreed that many people found it far too easy to lie and play games while sitting behind a computer monitor. He came across as a straight shooter and honest. He had been divorced for over 10 years and said he was having a hard time finding someone compatible. Given my experiences, I wasn't surprised. We shared stories and started texting.
He seemed nice and had a good sense of humour. He was floored when I shared more of my stories with him. His so called bad experiences were a walk in the park compared to mine.
We talked about work, our kids and family. He came from a large family. His oldest had moved out, only 2 remained at home and they were older than mine. My kids being younger was a concern for him, but he was willing to give it a try.
Things were moving along and one night he said we needed to talk. That got my attention. When we hear those words our stomach flips as we brace ourselves for bad news. I had no idea what it could be he wanted to talk about. Up to that point I had answered all of his questions and we had been very open with each other. For him the physical aspect of a relationship was very important and he wanted to know if I'd be comfortable talking about sex. I'm no prude and I agreed it was a very important element in a relationship. Nothing wrong with talking about it, partners have to be on the same page for a relationship to work. Never in a million years did I expect to hear what he said next.
Him: "Would you be alright with your partner being with a man once in a while?"
Me: "What? You mean with another woman?"
Him: "No, with a man."
Me: "With a man? Meaning what exactly?"
Him: "Giving a man a blow job really turns me on."
Me: "Pardon me? So you're telling me you like men?"
Him: "No, not at all!"
Me: "Ok, let me get this straight. You want to give a guy a blow job once in a while, but you don't like men?"
Him: "I'm not gay, it's just fun and we can do it together."
Me: "So if you're in a relationship with a woman and things are going well, you would still need to do this?"
Him: "Yes, but if my partner didn't agree then I wouldn't."
Me: "But you wouldn't be happy. What if I told you I wanted to be with another man once in a while."
Him: "Well it's something I really enjoy and I'd like to be able to do it. No, that's not right. That would be cheating. But maybe if I was with you and watched it would be ok or if it was with another woman."
Me: "No, I'd want to be alone and then you can go and do your thing. Another woman? Not happening and no threesomes. Funny that a double standard exists. It's ok for you to want to be with a man, but in my case it would be cheating?"
Him: "No, that wouldn't work. But I want you to be with me when I'm with other men. It would be exciting and fun, you could just watch then we'd have sex."
Me: "I'm shocked, this is not normal in my opinion. Are you bi-sexual? You claim you don't like men, but you do realize that a penis is attached to a man right? You can't have one without the other, it's kind of like a package deal."
Him: "No, you don't understand."
Me: "No I don't, please explain it to me because it makes no sense. If my partner has the need to seek sex elsewhere with someone of the opposite sex, then obviously I'm not the one for him. The thought of not being able to satisfy my partner would leave me feeling inadequate and unhappy."
Him: "You can't look at it that way."
Me: "How am I supposed to look at it? I'm very open minded and willing to try different things, after all variety is the spice of life, but having my partner giving men blow jobs is not acceptable to me. Sleeping with other women falls into the same category. I don't share my partner with anyone and I would hope that my partner would never want me to be with anyone but him."
Him: "It's not a big deal, forget I mentioned it."
Me: "Yeah sure. Unfortunately it's kind of hard to wipe that image from my mind. I'm sorry to each his own, but I can't do this. You are so not for me. I wish you luck with your search."
Him: "You're a really nice girl, I like you a lot. Take care. I hope you find what you're looking for."
OMG! What the f---??? Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse. Holy shit, I was speechless. I truly don't know what normal is anymore. Am I the one that isn't normal? He didn't just tell me he needs to give men blow jobs once in a while, did he? I had to throw up. My skin was crawling and I was beyond disgusted. Would this not be considered abnormal, deviant, atypical, freakish and out of the ordinary behaviour? I could go on and on, but best to stop here. I'm all for the whole "live and let live", but this was so not for me. I couldn't begin to imagine!
Enough, I was done! That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm stubborn and determined, but this was beyond too much for me to deal with. If this is the kind of men available, I ain't interested. I'm better off single. Time to explore other options for meeting men. Quality was severely lacking in the online dating arena. I was going from bad to the worst ever!
Definitely time for a self-imposed sabbatical. Sadly I think this one could last a very, very long time!!!
Dateless in Ottawa
Sadly the usual emails soliciting sex continued to come in. There were other guys that emailed, but again I think they were looking for a pen pal, not a girlfriend. Others emailed fast and furious only to disappear just as suddenly as they had appeared. One day their profile was there, the next it was gone. The creative ones would try to re-invent themselves by changing their names, but were too stupid to use new pictures. As if people aren't going to recognize you when you keep using the exact same profile pictures???
My friends were supportive. They said good things were just around the corner. My perseverance would pay off eventually. One day I'd look back and laugh at all these bad experiences and appreciate the good all the more. I was skeptical, but I didn't think things could get any worse. I'd seen in all so nothing could surprise me at this point. It was a great source of entertainment, if nothing else.
Embarking on to the next round.
Round 32:
63. Mr. Insurance
He was bit older, 53, average height, with a stocky build. He had salt and pepper hair with blue eyes. He was divorced with 3 kids in joint custody. The country was where he lived and worked. Sports were high on his list of interests along with cooking.
His introductory email was sympathetic and filled with questions. Online dating had not been a pleasant experience for him either. He agreed that many people found it far too easy to lie and play games while sitting behind a computer monitor. He came across as a straight shooter and honest. He had been divorced for over 10 years and said he was having a hard time finding someone compatible. Given my experiences, I wasn't surprised. We shared stories and started texting.
He seemed nice and had a good sense of humour. He was floored when I shared more of my stories with him. His so called bad experiences were a walk in the park compared to mine.
We talked about work, our kids and family. He came from a large family. His oldest had moved out, only 2 remained at home and they were older than mine. My kids being younger was a concern for him, but he was willing to give it a try.
Things were moving along and one night he said we needed to talk. That got my attention. When we hear those words our stomach flips as we brace ourselves for bad news. I had no idea what it could be he wanted to talk about. Up to that point I had answered all of his questions and we had been very open with each other. For him the physical aspect of a relationship was very important and he wanted to know if I'd be comfortable talking about sex. I'm no prude and I agreed it was a very important element in a relationship. Nothing wrong with talking about it, partners have to be on the same page for a relationship to work. Never in a million years did I expect to hear what he said next.
Him: "Would you be alright with your partner being with a man once in a while?"
Me: "What? You mean with another woman?"
Him: "No, with a man."
Me: "With a man? Meaning what exactly?"
Him: "Giving a man a blow job really turns me on."
Me: "Pardon me? So you're telling me you like men?"
Him: "No, not at all!"
Me: "Ok, let me get this straight. You want to give a guy a blow job once in a while, but you don't like men?"
Him: "I'm not gay, it's just fun and we can do it together."
Me: "So if you're in a relationship with a woman and things are going well, you would still need to do this?"
Him: "Yes, but if my partner didn't agree then I wouldn't."
Me: "But you wouldn't be happy. What if I told you I wanted to be with another man once in a while."
Him: "Well it's something I really enjoy and I'd like to be able to do it. No, that's not right. That would be cheating. But maybe if I was with you and watched it would be ok or if it was with another woman."
Me: "No, I'd want to be alone and then you can go and do your thing. Another woman? Not happening and no threesomes. Funny that a double standard exists. It's ok for you to want to be with a man, but in my case it would be cheating?"
Him: "No, that wouldn't work. But I want you to be with me when I'm with other men. It would be exciting and fun, you could just watch then we'd have sex."
Me: "I'm shocked, this is not normal in my opinion. Are you bi-sexual? You claim you don't like men, but you do realize that a penis is attached to a man right? You can't have one without the other, it's kind of like a package deal."
Him: "No, you don't understand."
Me: "No I don't, please explain it to me because it makes no sense. If my partner has the need to seek sex elsewhere with someone of the opposite sex, then obviously I'm not the one for him. The thought of not being able to satisfy my partner would leave me feeling inadequate and unhappy."
Him: "You can't look at it that way."
Me: "How am I supposed to look at it? I'm very open minded and willing to try different things, after all variety is the spice of life, but having my partner giving men blow jobs is not acceptable to me. Sleeping with other women falls into the same category. I don't share my partner with anyone and I would hope that my partner would never want me to be with anyone but him."
Him: "It's not a big deal, forget I mentioned it."
Me: "Yeah sure. Unfortunately it's kind of hard to wipe that image from my mind. I'm sorry to each his own, but I can't do this. You are so not for me. I wish you luck with your search."
Him: "You're a really nice girl, I like you a lot. Take care. I hope you find what you're looking for."
OMG! What the f---??? Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse. Holy shit, I was speechless. I truly don't know what normal is anymore. Am I the one that isn't normal? He didn't just tell me he needs to give men blow jobs once in a while, did he? I had to throw up. My skin was crawling and I was beyond disgusted. Would this not be considered abnormal, deviant, atypical, freakish and out of the ordinary behaviour? I could go on and on, but best to stop here. I'm all for the whole "live and let live", but this was so not for me. I couldn't begin to imagine!
Enough, I was done! That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm stubborn and determined, but this was beyond too much for me to deal with. If this is the kind of men available, I ain't interested. I'm better off single. Time to explore other options for meeting men. Quality was severely lacking in the online dating arena. I was going from bad to the worst ever!
Definitely time for a self-imposed sabbatical. Sadly I think this one could last a very, very long time!!!
Dateless in Ottawa
Wednesday 4 May 2016
I figured out what's wrong with online dating
There were a few things that stood out when I looked back at all of my stories. Many of these guys claimed to be single or divorced. After meeting they would say they were only communicating with me and didn't log into POF anymore. Well my stories prove that many were in fact married. Very easy to lie when you're sitting behind a computer screen. You can say whatever you want and continue to build on the story while feeling safe and protected. It's only when you actually meet someone and start asking questions that the truth slowly unravels, at which point these men run and hide. Either that or they're stupid enough to leave their cell phone lying around with all of my contact information in it that their wives can use to call and/or email me.
To find out whether or not these guys were lying about only communicating with me, I would ask girl friends to do a username search and check for me to see if they were online. Funny how they would insist we didn't need to go on POF any more since we'd found each other and should explore where the journey would take us. Yeah, whatever! At one point I created a dummy profile to keep an eye on these guys so I wouldn't have to bother my friends. So disappointing when you meet someone who you think has potential and there he is on POF 24/7! It becomes a game. The key is to be stealth and creative. It's all about who can play it better while trying not to get hurt. Sadly people do get hurt.
When you consider all the online dating sites and apps, it's no wonder people don't put much effort into building a relationship. Way too many distractions and an ocean full of temptation! I can't begin to understand how people manage to juggle several online dating sites and mobile apps all at the same time. It's a constant flow of emails, texts and phone conversations. Using these sites can become addictive. Suddenly you're overwhelmed and having a hard time keeping track, yet you don't stop cause the neighbour's grass is always greener. It's like having a second full-time job and needing a scheduling assistant to help keep you organized! We're never happy with what we have, we want more. Life in the age of excesses; the more we have, the more we want. They are out with one person, but anxiously waiting for a new text or email to set up a date with another person. Gotta keep their options open and not "settle." It's a vicious circle of never wanting to commit or bothering to truly get to know someone because they believe someone even better is just an email or text away.
The world has changed to the point where everything is disposable. Nothing lasts like it used to. Gone are the days of appliances lasting 35 years or cars lasting 20! Even with relationships the minute something goes wrong or one person isn't happy, it's over. Don't get me wrong, there are cases where it's best to walk away, but by the same token nothing worth having comes easy. People have to be willing to give and take, compromise, invest themselves completely and commit while constantly working on the relationship. A relationship is like a work of art or a career. It takes time to get it just right. You have to study, do the work and put in the effort. A brush stroke here, a touch of colour there, make some changes, accessorize, more training, the options are endless. It's a never ending project. Close friends of the family are celebrating their 40th anniversary this weekend. What a milestone! Sadly we don't celebrate these as often anymore.
At work I see it when interviewing students. Here they are fresh out of university with this overinflated sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. They want a top paying job because they have a university degree and then rhyme out their list of demands and limitations. Anything less is beneath them. Being book smart doesn't make you better or more intelligent. There is something to be said about knowing how to apply common sense, life experiences and hands on training. The realities of life can differ extensively from the picture perfect scenarios learned in text books, yet students fresh out of school think they are better and smarter. Are you kidding me? Time for a dose of reality kids. You start at the bottom like everyone else and work your way up. Much like respect, seniority is earned. In some cases depending on their field of study or who they know, they may be lucky to land an awesome top paying job. For the rest, you have to prove yourself and work your way up the ranks. Often times promotions mean applying and having to compete with others to move up, it isn't automatic. One can't sit around and simply expect things to fall into their lap, if you want it you have to go out and get it. Fight for what you want because competition for jobs is fierce, much like trying to find a mate!
This assumption that the next person will be even better than the one you're with now is crazy. It's not impossible, but where do you draw the line? How will you know when you've met the "perfect" one? Will bells, lights and whistles go off kind of like at the casino when you win at the slot machine? Will a marquee sign appear over the person's head saying "This is the one?" Maybe my fairy godmother will use her magic wand and make my perfect man appear? For most it seems like an endless roller coaster putting one at risk of ending up alone, while using the excuse or justification that they are not willing to settle. There is no such thing as perfect. We all have our flaws, weaknesses and short comings. Hopefully the good qualities and strengths will outweigh the bad. We can't be good at everything! It should be about focusing on our strengths and how we can compliment one another. Like I said in a previous post, if I can find someone that has 70% of what I'm looking for, I'll grab him and run! At some point I may need to re-adjust this figure, but for now I'll leave it as is.
Personally I think the key to finding relationship success is honesty. This is one element that I find is severely lacking in the world of online dating. It's hard to build a relationship on a foundation of lies. Oh well, the only person's behaviour we can control is our own. For now I'll continue on and try to remain hopeful that there are other honest people out there willing to make the effort.
To summarize, the two major problems keeping people from finding their "perfect" relationship is dishonesty and unrealistic expectations. Something to consider.
Yup, no choice but to move on to Round 31!
Dateless in Ottawa
To find out whether or not these guys were lying about only communicating with me, I would ask girl friends to do a username search and check for me to see if they were online. Funny how they would insist we didn't need to go on POF any more since we'd found each other and should explore where the journey would take us. Yeah, whatever! At one point I created a dummy profile to keep an eye on these guys so I wouldn't have to bother my friends. So disappointing when you meet someone who you think has potential and there he is on POF 24/7! It becomes a game. The key is to be stealth and creative. It's all about who can play it better while trying not to get hurt. Sadly people do get hurt.
When you consider all the online dating sites and apps, it's no wonder people don't put much effort into building a relationship. Way too many distractions and an ocean full of temptation! I can't begin to understand how people manage to juggle several online dating sites and mobile apps all at the same time. It's a constant flow of emails, texts and phone conversations. Using these sites can become addictive. Suddenly you're overwhelmed and having a hard time keeping track, yet you don't stop cause the neighbour's grass is always greener. It's like having a second full-time job and needing a scheduling assistant to help keep you organized! We're never happy with what we have, we want more. Life in the age of excesses; the more we have, the more we want. They are out with one person, but anxiously waiting for a new text or email to set up a date with another person. Gotta keep their options open and not "settle." It's a vicious circle of never wanting to commit or bothering to truly get to know someone because they believe someone even better is just an email or text away.
The world has changed to the point where everything is disposable. Nothing lasts like it used to. Gone are the days of appliances lasting 35 years or cars lasting 20! Even with relationships the minute something goes wrong or one person isn't happy, it's over. Don't get me wrong, there are cases where it's best to walk away, but by the same token nothing worth having comes easy. People have to be willing to give and take, compromise, invest themselves completely and commit while constantly working on the relationship. A relationship is like a work of art or a career. It takes time to get it just right. You have to study, do the work and put in the effort. A brush stroke here, a touch of colour there, make some changes, accessorize, more training, the options are endless. It's a never ending project. Close friends of the family are celebrating their 40th anniversary this weekend. What a milestone! Sadly we don't celebrate these as often anymore.
At work I see it when interviewing students. Here they are fresh out of university with this overinflated sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. They want a top paying job because they have a university degree and then rhyme out their list of demands and limitations. Anything less is beneath them. Being book smart doesn't make you better or more intelligent. There is something to be said about knowing how to apply common sense, life experiences and hands on training. The realities of life can differ extensively from the picture perfect scenarios learned in text books, yet students fresh out of school think they are better and smarter. Are you kidding me? Time for a dose of reality kids. You start at the bottom like everyone else and work your way up. Much like respect, seniority is earned. In some cases depending on their field of study or who they know, they may be lucky to land an awesome top paying job. For the rest, you have to prove yourself and work your way up the ranks. Often times promotions mean applying and having to compete with others to move up, it isn't automatic. One can't sit around and simply expect things to fall into their lap, if you want it you have to go out and get it. Fight for what you want because competition for jobs is fierce, much like trying to find a mate!
This assumption that the next person will be even better than the one you're with now is crazy. It's not impossible, but where do you draw the line? How will you know when you've met the "perfect" one? Will bells, lights and whistles go off kind of like at the casino when you win at the slot machine? Will a marquee sign appear over the person's head saying "This is the one?" Maybe my fairy godmother will use her magic wand and make my perfect man appear? For most it seems like an endless roller coaster putting one at risk of ending up alone, while using the excuse or justification that they are not willing to settle. There is no such thing as perfect. We all have our flaws, weaknesses and short comings. Hopefully the good qualities and strengths will outweigh the bad. We can't be good at everything! It should be about focusing on our strengths and how we can compliment one another. Like I said in a previous post, if I can find someone that has 70% of what I'm looking for, I'll grab him and run! At some point I may need to re-adjust this figure, but for now I'll leave it as is.
Personally I think the key to finding relationship success is honesty. This is one element that I find is severely lacking in the world of online dating. It's hard to build a relationship on a foundation of lies. Oh well, the only person's behaviour we can control is our own. For now I'll continue on and try to remain hopeful that there are other honest people out there willing to make the effort.
To summarize, the two major problems keeping people from finding their "perfect" relationship is dishonesty and unrealistic expectations. Something to consider.
Yup, no choice but to move on to Round 31!
Dateless in Ottawa
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