Round 18 was brutal. I was at a complete loss. What the heck was that? Was I sending the wrong message? Just when you think you've figured things out somewhat and you seem to be making progress, BANG!!!! You're catapulted backwards.
Fair warning to all that this post may come across like male bashing, but I call it justifiable ranting. Let's not forget who behaved inappropriately. Feel free to re-read the post: "Round 18, everyone goes MIA" to refresh your memory along with various other rounds, 17 excluded. I'd love it if someone would send me comments, a male perspective, thoughts or insights to help me understand some of the things men do in an effort to figure out this whole online dating thing. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated. In the meantime I'm allowed to be angry and rant. Good grief, at this rate I may need to seek professional help!
1. Crotch shots
Are you guys kidding me? Do men really believe it's a good idea to send a woman they've never met a crotch shot? OMG! Give your head a shake!!! Would you send that to your Mother? Probably not, so don't send it to me either! I think they need to go back and re-read my post "Let's talk about profile pictures." Self-confidence is sexy, but this is going overboard. Maybe men enjoy getting nude pictures from women. Whatever, to each his own. Personally I don't appreciate these unsolicited inappropriate pictures. In fact, they just make me want to throw up. To me it demonstrates a complete lack of respect for the person you're sending it to as well as yourself. Try to maintain a certain level of dignity, class and decorum when communicating with others, especially strangers! Hate to say it guys, but as it relates to genitalia the male penis is not the most attractive part of the male body, not to me anyways. When it's not "groomed" or "maintained" (I think you know what I mean, if not I'll gladly explain) it's even less appealing to look at so please spare me. Other's may beg to differ, but this is my opinion.
Like I tell my kids, "If it's something you can't say or show to your parents (as in me!), you shouldn't be sharing it with others, sending it over the internet or posting it on social media." Much like me, I don't think you're Mother would appreciate receiving your crotch shot! Would you want a guy sending your mother a crotch shot? Or better yet, if you have children, your daughter getting crotch shots from strange guys?
For me the rules change when in a relationship. That's when it's ok to go nuts with the racy texts, pictures and messages. There's a time and a place for everything. Exercise caution and be chivalrous, it will score you far more brownie points!
2. Old pictures
Seriously, you don't think I'm going to notice you gained over 100 lbs and aged ungracefully? Weight and looks are very difficult to hide. Physical characteristics are the first thing people see when they meet you. They say the camera adds 10 lbs, so that gives all of us a bit of grace when meeting someone for the first time, but where did the other 90 lbs come from? I prefer stocky guys, always have. But when you show up and you're way bigger than I expected, all credibility goes out the window. Good luck trying to over compensate with other positive traits, if you have any and I'm willing to listen. Start detailing all your health issues and you're just digging an even deeper grave. If I showed up looking much larger and 10 years older than I appear in my profile picture I would totally expect a guy to be disappointed, angry and never want to see me again. Do men believe they should be praised for being dishonest and that women are going to be so blown away by their sparkling personality that we won't notice they don't look anything like their pictures? Maybe if I was blind, but I'm not desperate so good luck trying. What's good for the geese is good for the gander!
3. Indecisiveness
If you don't know what you want, don't waste other people's time! OMG, you'd think the guy that had never gotten an email from a woman would be over the moon and ecstatic at the prospect of finally having an opportunity to go out with someone. It may not develop into a relationship, but a new friendship can be equally exciting and fulfilling.
To write back and say, "I've been single for so long that I've become accustomed to being alone so it's probably best to I stay single." WTF??? Don't get me wrong, we all have the right to change our mind. Circumstances change and life throws us some unexpected curve balls. If he truly decided he wanted to be alone, why upgrade his membership and suddenly live online 24/7? If you want to stay single, delete your damn profile! Alternatively, if you're lying because you can't be honest and say you've changed your mind, hide your profile or block me. Click on help if you can't figure out how to do that.
You email, text, call and make plans to meet, then all of sudden I live too far away? Where we lived was discussed a couple of weeks ago, now it's become an issue? I'm always accommodating and willing to meet half way, even go further into their neck of the woods depending on what the plans are. Travelling is not an issue for me - have vehicle, can and will travel! Relationships are all about give and take. If you're not willing to make the effort, perhaps you shouldn't be dating. Maybe it's time to adjust your acceptable distance on your profile. You can use Google maps or MapQuest to determine exactly where the person you are communicating with lives to avoid wasting their time. So much for guys being better with maps and directions!
Enough for tonight. Venting makes me feel better.
Dateless in Ottawa
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