This made me think back to chivalry. Chivalry is something that should be done out of kindness and consideration without expecting something in return. It isn't only done for women and it is also expected of strangers. When in a relationship, it's done to demonstrate kindness, caring, respect and attentiveness to one's partner.
Many elements can to applied to everyday situations whether at home, school, work or just out and about. In some cases these examples could also fall under good manners and being polite. These should be practiced by everyone regardless of age or sex.
1. Helping someone who is struggling with a package or needs help.
2. Opening a door or holding a door open for others. They may have their hands full or suffer from a
physical ailment (makes me think of my grandparents or someone in a wheelchair), but for the
most part it should simply be done out of courtesy.
3. Saying hello went entering a room and introducing yourself when appropriate, then saying
goodbye when you leave.
4. Removing your hat when you enter a building or a room.
5. Saying please and thank you.
6. Lending or sharing your umbrella when it's raining.
7. Stand up for someone who is being mistreated or harmed.
8. Offer your seat on a bus or train to a woman, child, someone elderly or a person that cannot stand.
9. Being kind and respectful to wait or sales staff and for that matter, all people you come into
contact with.
When in a relationship, a man should further do the following:
10. Openning the car door for a woman and helping her in and out of the vehicle.
11. Walking a woman to her car or her door after a date.
12. Sending a text, email or calling to make sure she made it home safely.
13. At a restaurant allow her to sit first and tuck in her chair. She should also be invited to order first.
14. Be a man of your word. Call when you say you're going to call and show up on time.
15. Walk on the outside of the sidewalk. * applicable for children and older relatives too!
16. Lending her his coat when it's cold out. Helping her put her coat on.
17. Letting her go first when arriving or leaving a venue.
18. Behave like a gentleman and be respectful at all times.
I could go on and on, but I think these are the most important ones. Others will vary depending on the person. I didn't include the man paying when taking a lady out, because I believe a woman should also pay once in a while. As it relates to initiating, I do believe that responsibility falls to the man, but there's no reason why a woman shouldn't initiate if she feels comfortable doing so.
Important Note: When a man pays he shouldn't automatically assume he's entitled to sex. Like I mentioned in a previous post, if I was going to charge for sex it would cost a guy a hell of a lot more than a coffee or a drink!
Women also have a role to play. They too should be kind, attentive, considerate and respectful towards their mate. It's give and take.
Many may call chivalry old fashioned or outdated, but I disagree. This is how people in a civilized society should behave. Being kind, considerate, respectful and polite never expires or goes out of style.
Some food for thought.
Dateless in Ottawa
10. Openning the car door for a woman and helping her in and out of the vehicle.
11. Walking a woman to her car or her door after a date.
12. Sending a text, email or calling to make sure she made it home safely.
13. At a restaurant allow her to sit first and tuck in her chair. She should also be invited to order first.
14. Be a man of your word. Call when you say you're going to call and show up on time.
15. Walk on the outside of the sidewalk. * applicable for children and older relatives too!
16. Lending her his coat when it's cold out. Helping her put her coat on.
17. Letting her go first when arriving or leaving a venue.
18. Behave like a gentleman and be respectful at all times.
I could go on and on, but I think these are the most important ones. Others will vary depending on the person. I didn't include the man paying when taking a lady out, because I believe a woman should also pay once in a while. As it relates to initiating, I do believe that responsibility falls to the man, but there's no reason why a woman shouldn't initiate if she feels comfortable doing so.
Important Note: When a man pays he shouldn't automatically assume he's entitled to sex. Like I mentioned in a previous post, if I was going to charge for sex it would cost a guy a hell of a lot more than a coffee or a drink!
Women also have a role to play. They too should be kind, attentive, considerate and respectful towards their mate. It's give and take.
Many may call chivalry old fashioned or outdated, but I disagree. This is how people in a civilized society should behave. Being kind, considerate, respectful and polite never expires or goes out of style.
Some food for thought.
Dateless in Ottawa
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