It wasn't long before my inbox started to see some regular traffic. Very quickly I learned to stay off the intimate encounters tab. Amazing how many more emails you get when users see you are online in that section and it's late at night! Definitely not quality emails is all I can say.
To spare the men embarrassment, I will change their real names and avoid using their online usernames. Mind you, given that they are often on various online dating sites, using the same names with their pictures plastered all over the internet, they can't be too worried about remaining anonymous and protecting their reputations! After dabbling on various online dating sites on and off over the last 8 years, it's shocking how many men use the same pictures and usernames. You'd think they'd try to reinvent themselves every so often. On a positive note, it's mostly the dishonest, married ones that tend to do this the most often so it makes it very easy to filter them out. Sad when you create a profile after being away for 5 years and as soon as the profiles and your matches appear you recognize 75% of the users. Quite possible they too have lost a spouse or a relationship has ended, but what are the odds given that the profile, pictures and username are the same?
Don't get me wrong, I have several friends that have found their husbands online, so the potential for a happy ending is there. I have met some really nice guys, sadly there was no chemistry or our lifestyles made it difficult to maintain a relationship. Overall my negative experiences far outweigh the positives. Maybe I'll try again in a few months, but for now I'll take a break and share my experiences while looking back and having a laugh or two at my own expense. Feel free to share your stories and thoughts.
1. Mr. Yoga
One of the first emails was from a gentleman that was an avid practitioner of yoga. He paid to upgrade his membership and added more pictures of himself in some very unusual contorted poses. Bonus points for originality. He was tall and attractive with dark eyes and hair which is what I tend to gravitate towards. His profile was simple and sounded real. We had some similar interests and he was very polite and complimentary. After exchanging a couple of emails, he suggested we should meet. I agreed. Then he sent an email stating I had to commit to giving up meat completely because he was a vegetarian and could not be with someone that condoned the killing and consumption of animals.
What??? Wow, I was floored. Someone I haven't even met is demanding I give up something I love?
There was a follow-up email stating that if I didn't confirm my acceptance of his terms, then I was not serious about building a long-term committed relationship and he would discontinue any further communications with me.
Really? Was that a threat? I laughed so hard I fell off my chair. I'm all for trying different things and actually love vegetables, but give up meat? I don't think so. Steak has to be one of my favourite things. I'm respectful of differences and open to accommodating the needs of others, but not when their beliefs or needs are going to be imposed on me.
My response went something like this:
Dear Mr. Yoga,
Although I fully respect your beliefs and needs, I cannot commit to giving up meat. I love all kinds of meat and cannot imagine never being able to eat it again. I take great offence at you demanding I give something up to demonstrate my commitment to you when I haven't even met you yet. Perhaps you should commit to eating meat if you truly wish to pursue a relationship with me? At the end of the day I think it is extremely inappropriate and disrespectful for you to impose your beliefs on others.
Best of luck with your search,
Meat lover extraordinaire
This was only the beginning. Not the greatest start, but the novelty was still fresh so on to the next email!
Dateless in Ottawa
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