When you've been using online dating sites for a while, you slowly start to notice things and weed out some of the players. Pictures are a great way to learn about an individual without even reading their profile.
With technology today, it's getting easier to identify pictures that are old or have been edited. I've developed numerous pet peeves. Here's some advice for those considering creating a profile on an online dating site.
For some this may come across harsh, but sadly these are things I've seen and continue to see on men's profiles. I don't doubt women can be just as bad, but I can only speak to my experiences. Sometimes I'm tempted to download their pics and use them as examples of "What not to do." Hey, great idea for an online tutorial series. I'll have to think about that one, oh the possibilities are endless! Lol
1. What's up with bathroom selfies?
Seriously? You can't take a picture anywhere else? Do you really think it's pleasant to see a urinal or toilet in the background? And in a public washroom, even worse! One guy took a selfie in a family washroom with a baby change table and diaper genie in the background. I recognized it from the mall. So what, he snuck in there to take his picture? He didn't have little kids so a bit odd, maybe even creepy in my opinion.
A picture in the mirror with you holding a phone or camera, really impressive! Can you not ask a friend, co-worker or worst case a stranger to take your picture? Surely you must have friends. You can easily pretend to be a tourist, be creative! By the way, iPhones and most androids allow you to take a selfie without having to stand in front of a mirror, maybe you need to read the manual. Just sayin. Heck even with the old style film cameras, I remember taking selfies with friends and we didn't have to stand in front of a mirror. Technology is there, let's use it.
2. Sunglasses
Bad enough you take a selfie in a washroom mirror, but you have to wear sunglasses too? It's not that sunny indoors. Then again, maybe you're embarrassed and trying to remain anonymous. If you think it makes you look more appealing or cool, think again.
Now, if you're out at the beach or down south on vacation, I totally get the sunglasses. That works! But we still need to see what your face looks like. Personally I find eyes very attractive. It's a feature that really stands out when you look at someone's face.
3. Wedding rings
Are you kidding me? You have a profile up on a singles dating site and in all of your pictures you're wearing a wedding ring? Unbelieveable. I've heard all the excuses:
- "I was engaged at the time."
- "It's the only good picture I have of myself." Yeah and this guy had 5 pics on his profile with his wedding ring on. Great, he can't count either! Very appealing...not!
- "It's a school ring." Just like Mr. Law Enforcement Officer.
- "It's just a ring I like to wear."
- "I've had that ring forever, it's an initial ring."
- "I'm not officially divorced yet." Well maybe you shouldn't be on a singles dating site???
Save it, I ain't buying what you're trying to sell. Be a man and tell the truth. Once again with all the advances in technology, guess what? You can crop the ring out of the photo! Imagine that.
4. Clothes, can you please leave them on?
Are nude shots really necessary? Much more appealing when you leave something to the imagination. Please put some clothes on. So picture this, you have a guy taking a selfie in a public washroom, with a urinal in the background, wearing sunglasses and no clothes on! A+ for taking risks, imagine having to explain yourself to another guy walking in on you. What a combination! Trust me, when you combine all the "what not to dos" into the same picture, the result is an epic fail!
Even worse, what's up with the crotch shots? I can't speak for other women, but I find it disgusting and a major turn off. I don't know you and we haven't even met, please spare me. When you're in a relationship go nuts and have fun, but what impression are you giving when you send a crotch shot to a stranger or post it for all to see on an online dating site no less?
Let's not forget about technology and cyber space. The minute you hit send, you don't know where that crotch shot is going to end up. Many guys will even send them from their cell phone! Brilliant, try explaining that one to your boss when you've done it using your government device! Not fun. Right up there with openning an Ashley Madison account using your government email address. One day it could surface and bite you in the ass costing you a promotion, your career or negatively impacting your reputation. Show a little respect and self-respect too!
5. Pictures with other women
Do men honestly think a woman seeking a relationship is going to find it appealing to see you with a bunch of women hanging off of you? You're on a site looking for a woman, yet in all your pictures your surrounded by women. Even worse when they're half naked or you're making out with them. I don't get it. Completely different when they are shots of a group of guys and girls together.
I know what you're thinking:
- "They're just friends." There are friends and then there are friends. Not sure you should have a profile picture of yourself with your tongue down your friend's throat. Kind of gives the impression you already have someone or perhaps you're a player??? Blatantly obvious to me, but maybe not to others.
- "I was having fun." Obviously! Life is about having fun, but how appealing is it to a man to see similar images with a woman all over men when she claims to be looking for a soul mate?
- "Just out on a bender with friends." Oh, so this is what you'll be doing when you go out with the guys? That instills a lot of trust...not. And of course you had no other picture you could use right? Hey, you could always go into a washroom and take a selfie! Lol
6. Pictures with animals
This category is pretty similar to the pictures with women. Don't get me wrong, I love animals, but there's something very unappealing about looking at a picture of a guy kissing his dog or cat on the mouth. Also sad when under interests all they have listed is "playing with my animal(s)." Enough said.
7. Interesting backgrounds
The bathroom urinals and toilets are bad enough. Have I successfully conveyed my strong dislike of bathroom selfies? Well now let's further add garbage, dirty laundry, a filthy kitchen with dirty dishes and glasses all over and/or countless empties strewn all over the counter and floor. A pig sty is even more appealing! Oh my goodness, how easy it is to go from bad to worse with minimal effort. Try exercising a little bit more pride and self-respect.
8. Wedding pictures
And no, I don't mean your best friend's wedding when you were the best man. One guy actually used his own wedding pictures!!! OMG, give your head a shake! Just when you think you've seen and heard it all. I don't think I need to elaborate any further on this one.
9. Injuries
No, I don't want to see you all bloody and broken or throwing up. Some claim it's good to see someone at their worst, but please spare me the gory pictures of your wounds. How would men like it if women posted pictures of themselves giving birth? Trust me, it ain't pretty. Neither is your torn open leg, busted arm or huge gash on your face. You're supposed to be marketing yourself in a positive light, not causing women to go running to find a toilet to puke.
Is this supposed to make you look tough and sexy? Good luck! Unless of course it's a nurse you're looking for, actually that would make more sense. Hey, can we petition to have a new category added?
I have more, but I'll continue on my next post. Sweet dreams everyone!
Dateless in Ottawa
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