A few days had passed so I mustered up the courage to log back into the online dating site. There were several emails in my inbox. Up to now, I only communicated with one guy at a time. I thought this is what someone who's courteous and respectful does. Never mind, when in Rome do as the Romans! Nothing wrong with emailing, if it progresses to meeting, that's a different story.
In the meantime I would start a journal and document my experiences. They might come in handy one day! Lol
10. Mr. Handsome
His picture looked like it was out of a magazine. He had a great smile and amazing eyes. The email was short and flirty. According to the profile he was looking for a long-term relationship. He was divorced with 3 children. After a few emails and a phone call, we met for coffee. He was very charming. It was obvious he relied very heavily on his looks. Most of the conversation focused on all the women he'd been with. He was on EI and learning a new trade. His kids were in Cornwall and he'd been through a nasty divorce. With no work, he complained about not being able to pay child support or being able to see his kids. The date ended. It was quite clear he had too many issues and I was so not interested. His short comings and issues far outweighed his good looks.
He called the next day to ask if I'd like to go out again. He further added he wasn't looking for anything serious, just wanted to have some fun while living in Ottawa.
Me: "I'm looking for something long-term. We wouldn't be a good match. It was nice meeting you."
Him: "I guess you misunderstood. You seem really nice, we could have fun."
Me: "I have plenty of fun. Your profile clearly says you're looking for long-term so I didn't misunderstand, you lied."
Him: "Not a big deal. By the way, I was told to leave the place where I've been living. Why don't I just stay with you? Don't worry I don't mind cuddling after sex, I know women like that."
Me: "I'm not interested. Best of luck with your search. Good bye!"
Him: "What do you mean, women never say no to me?"
Me: "Well honey, there's a first time for everything. Good luck!"
11. Mr. Chemical Plant
He was divorced with 2 young children and joint custody. Was looking for a job in Ottawa as the plant he was working at was closing and he'd be losing his job. He seemed sincere and we had a lot of common interests. His kids were the same ages as mine so they were into the same things which we both agreed was important.
That same weekend we met for dinner. We had a really nice time. Afterwards we decided to go see a movie. We saw Batman and later went for drinks. The conversation flowed and we had a really nice time. He was extremely polite and what stood out most was the chivalry. I'm a sucker for chivalry. If a man opens doors, helps me with my coat and does all those thoughtful things I saw my Dad do for my Mom, I melt.
He admitted he had been arrested for assaulting his wife and the gentleman she was cheating with. He had been working 2 jobs so that she could work part-time and be home for the kids. He went home early one night because he was sick and caught them having sex in the living room with his kids sleeping upstairs. He lost it and threw the guy outside naked then slapped his wife. A+ for honesty. I was taken aback, but tried to be compassionate. I'd been cheated on so completely understood how he would have felt. It was the ultimate betrayal.
We saw each other a few more times, then he came down with a bad flu. I offered to visit and keep him company, but he turned down the offer. A while later I received an invitation to a friend's wedding. It was going to be at the casino which he mentioned he'd never been to. I thought it would be a great way for him to see it and have a nice evening out. That was a huge mistake. He became angry and said I was planning too far in advance. This was too stressful for him and maybe he wasn't ready for dating after all. What? We already had plans for the next couple of weeks, the wedding was less than a month away? Whatever. You'd think I had proposed! Next!
12. East End Minister
As a joke, I had put up a picture of the wicked witch of the west from the Wizard of Oz. Strangely, we were viewing each other's profiles at the exact same time and even sent each other emails at the same time. He loved my picture and had to write to compliment me on my beautiful green complexion.
He was tall, dark and handsome. Divorced, no children and a practicing minister. He lived in my old neighbourhood. His profile was hilarious. It was by far the best profile I'd come across to date. We started emailing back and forth and he finally asked if he could call me. I figured why not, no time like the present! He said the fact that we had emailed at the exact same time was serendipitous and we absolutely had to meet.
We talked for about an hour and laughed the entire time. I had to pick the kids up so told him I had to go, he didn't want to stop talking. He called back later and we continued the conversation. We emailed and talked more then he insisted we had to meet for coffee so we set a date.
He never showed up. When I messaged him on the site he sent a snooty reply that he was busy. I figured, "Fine another one down!"
Months later I came across another profile and realized it was him. He was griping about how dishonest women are and how he'd been on several dates with transvestites. I thought, "What comes around goes around". I wrote him and said he was simply getting his just rewards given how he had behaved towards me and who knows how many other women.
Surprisingly he wrote back and apologized. He admitted our conversations were by far the most entertaining he'd had to date and he behaved like a real jerk.
Me: "Being a minister, one would assume you'd be honest and compassionate as this is what your congregation expects from someone in your position. Sad that religious leaders who are suppose to set examples tend to be far worse than those who look up to them. What's that saying again? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?" Best of luck with your search!"
Later I came across yet another one of his profiles. I guess reinventing himself wasn't working!
13. Mr. Harper
This guy was 63, divorced with grown children and working in govt. He also delivered groceries part-time. The divorce had forced him to start from zero. He was very flattering, almost desperate sounding.
He was way too old, but I responded to his email. He was a great writer and eventually we talked on the phone. I enjoy meeting new people and having contacts in different areas can be helpful so when he asked if I'd meet him for coffee, I said yes.
When I arrived he was already there. He'd had 2 drinks which bothered me. He claimed to be nervous and that alcohol calmed his nerves. Well, he didn't look anything like his picture. He resembled Einstein of all people. The conversation didn't flow well. As soon as I detect a lie, the red flags are flapping in the wind and I shut down. He knew what I was thinking and apologized. I wished him luck with his search and got up to leave. He wanted to walk me to my car. I said no thank you. Good bye! I was at Bayshore, so a little retail therapy was in order.
There were more emails with sexual propositions which I deleted. Ok, so the profile update and definitions didn't help. Were men that screwed up and dishonest? What does a girl have to say or do to find someone decent? Dating had become far more complicated that I could have ever imagined. I was starting to lose faith in humanity. When even a minister can't be honest.....not a good sign.
Tomorrow is another day, I'll figure it out eventually Things can't get any worse, one day I'll look back and laugh.
Dateless in Ottawa
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