Time to add some positive energy to this blog and make you laugh. Most of the dates I'm going to talk about were the brain child of Mr. Grizzly. If you're looking for unique and never a dull moment adventures, he's got that down pat! We've remained friends and it's always fun to spend time with him. The other guys I'll identify as they appear in my posts.
Personally I'm always up for a challenge. Bonus points when a guy can come up with a creative idea or place for a date. You don't have to spend a fortune or over-think, the simpler the better. It's amazing the places you go to on a regular basis that are perfectly suited for a date. Feel free to steal some of these, I had a blast and you can too! If your date can't play along, laugh or finds the ideas stupid, maybe she's not for you. Life's too short, better to laugh and roll with the punches than be snobby and judgemental.
1. Costco
Talk about brilliant! Who doesn't like shopping at Costco? Go big or stay home! When I was asked to go to Costco for a date, I didn't hesitate for a second. First off, I'm a woman so shopping is in the blood. Secondly I'm a Mom of 4 growing children so buying in bulk is the way to go. Third, who doesn't like having company while shopping? It was a win, win situation! For him the fact that you get food samples was an added bonus making it even more appealing. By the way, he still had to buy me lunch he wasn't going to get off that easy! Lol
He picked me up and off we went. When we arrived at Costco, I grabbed a cart. He was single so I figured he could put his stuff in my cart. I was just a little caught off guard when I turned around and saw him pulling 2 carts.
Me: "I already have a cart."
Him: "Yes, I see that. I need two, don't worry just keep walking you'll see."
Ok, off we went. He made sure we walked up and down every single aisle. It was fairly busy, but not too crazy so we managed to navigate successfully with three shopping carts. I still couldn't for the life of me figure out why he needed two carts, but that would soon be revealed.
We get to the paper products and the toilet paper and paper towels were on sale. I grabbed a package of each and off I went.
Him: "You should grab a few more packs of each. They're on sale and with 4 kids you must go through it pretty fast. "
Me: "I still have some, this will do for now."
Well, he adds another package of each to my cart then puts 4 of each in the first of his carts and then 3 packages of Kleenex in the second.
Me: "Are you picking stuff up for other people?"
Him: "No, why?"
Me: "You're going to use all of this?"
Him: "Yeah, I like to be well stocked."
A small crowd had gathered as we were loading our carts and they seemed amused at our exchange. After that in every aisle he managed to find something to draw attention to and rope in whoever was walking by. We were at the smoked oysters. He went on and on about how good they are. I mentioned I personally don't like them, so that was his cue to poll everyone that walked by on whether of not they liked them and why. People were caught off guard, but they played along. One guy got right into it extoling the virtues of oysters and how I should reconsider and try them again because by the way, they are also an aphrodisiac. That just gave my guy even more ammunition.
Him: "See, this guy knows what he's talking about. You have to listen to him! Thank you Sir!"
Then his wife got into it and took my side. It was hilarious. At every aisle I wasn't sure what he was going to come up with and everyone would look stunned and then laugh when they saw his train of shopping carts overflowing with paper products. He even went and got a third cart for food! He asked one of the stock boys if he could leave the full carts at the front until he was finished. Poor kid looked like a deer in headlights, he didn't know what the make of so many carts for one guy.
The laughing continued. I was heading towards the pharmaceutical aisle and hesitated. He was totally going to get me good here. I tried to anticipate what product he'd pick. As I came around the corner I saw the condoms and knew immediately that's what he was going to pick. There was an older gentleman standing right by the condoms. He was patiently waiting for his wife and minding his own business. All of a sudden you heard a loud male voice:
Him: "HONEY, DO WE NEED CONDOMS? LOOK ITS THE BIG CLUB PACK SO THEY'LL LAST US FOR A WHILE. OR MAYBE WE SHOULD GET 2 TO BE SAFE? WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
OMG, I wanted to pee my pants, but I was wearing a dress. The older gentleman froze. The colour drained from his face and he tried to hobble down the aisle as quickly as he could. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. His wife got mad because he took off on her and she had things to put into the cart.
Me: "No honey we don't need condoms, but you should get more lube. Can you check to see if they have any club packs?"
He was impressed with my quick response, I got a thumbs up! He expected me to bolt or stand there frozen with embarssment and speechless. The poor older gentleman suddenly picked up speed and bolted around the corner to escape us. I burst out laughing. I was laughing so hard I was crying. People were wondering what was going on and asked if I was ok.
Him: "See, I can't take her anywhere. How embarrassing. She upset that poor gentleman. Unbelievable!"
When we go to the cash, the poor cashier was floored when he saw not one or two, but three shopping carts full of stuff to ring in, plus mine so 4! It brought new meaning to the expression, "Go big or stay home!" Turns out he often bought in large quantities, but on this particular day he went overboard on steroids to up the entertainment value and see how I would react.
I must say, it was an awesome date. We probably spent close to 2 hours in there, but it flew by with all of his antics and practical jokes. Most people in the store were also very entertained. The couple with the smoked oysters asked us if we went in regularly and on what day because they wanted to be there.
See, we both needed to do groceries so it was an excellent idea. Who would have known grocery shopping could be that much fun!
2. Jean Coutu
We had plans to go to the pumpkin patch and then carve pumpkins with the kids, but I forgot the diaper bag so we had to do a diaper run. Jean Coutu was the closest drugstore, so off we went.
I was just going to run in and run out by myself, but no he insisted on coming in with the baby. I figured, sure why not. Oh, that was so not a good idea!
Off I go to the diaper aisle while he walks around with the baby. Suddenly I recognize a loud voice calling out.
Him: "C----- what pads did you say you wanted? Or was it tampons? There's so many different ones, I don't remember what brand or kind you wanted. Wait, I'll read the packages and you can tell me when I get to the right one."
Sure enough, he started reading the labels out loud. The store had quite a few customers. Most were laughing. The cashiers were quite amused, although the store manager looked visibly annoyed. I ran over and asked him to please stop. That was an even bigger mistake. Then he had to take different packages to the cashier and ask for her opinion on which ones we should buy. OMG, I went back to find the diapers.
It was that time of year when all the Christmas decorations were out. Suddenly I hear all kinds of Christmas music and the manager says,
Manager: "Sir, please don't turn on all the decorations at the same time."
Him: "But I need to hear them all so I can pick which one I like better. The baby wants to listen to them too. Plus we have to test them to make sure they work. Would you buy something defective?"
OMG! I grabbed the diapers and went to find them so we could pay and leave. But oh no, he wasn't finished. They were having a grand old time winding all the toys and the baby was pointing at other ones. I think he successfully managed to get them all playing music at the same time! If looks could kill, the store manager would have killed him several times over. She was so pissed. It was time to go!
The cashier could barely contain her laughter. She thanked us for coming in. As we were leaving, he turns to the store manager and says,
Him: "I'm not sure I like any of those decorations. I think I'll have to come back and try them all again another day because some people (pointing at me!) have no patience and I don't like to be rushed."
Good thing I avoided the contraceptives aisle or we never would have gotten out of there without taking casualties!
Enough laughs for one night, time for a break so you can go pee! Lol I also have to leave you wanting more, sweet dreams!
Dateless in Ottawa
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