After throwing in the towel on online dating, I focused on my kids and my career. These were two things in my life I had some control over. I wasn't sure where to start, but within two years I managed to finish my university degree and win three competitions at work which bumped me up four levels. Looking back now I don't know how I did it. The kids were still quite young, I had a demanding job and not alot of extra time. I finished my degree using the tapes to you service. I'd watch my lectures and do my readings at night after putting the kids to bed. Who needed sleep? My director at the time was awesome. He encouraged me to go back to university after Mom passed away and mentored me along with other colleagues in senior management and at various levels. Without a degree I wouldn't be able to advance my career. Work paid for my courses and gave me the time I needed to go write my mid-terms and exams. It took some time and lots of hard work, but I did it! It was a huge accomplishment, I was so proud of myself.
Not long after, by complete accident I met the man who would become my husband. It was a whirl wind romance. Many say, things happen when you least expect them. Never believed it before, but I guess things happen when they are meant to be. There were many challenges including the fact that he lived in Alberta and I lived in Ottawa, but we made it work. For the next 5 years I was spared the torture and damaging consequences of online dating. All those bad experiences certainly made me appreciate what I had all the more. My husband and I built a great life together. The children were happy and soon after getting married we welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world.
Sadly, all good things come to an end. On March 27, 2013, my husband took his life. Completely unexpected and so many unanswered questions. The family was devastated and at a complete loss. With no note or explanation, would we ever know what really happened or why? Life as we knew it had come to an end. My whole world was pulled out from under me. I fell apart and spiraled downwards into a deep dark hole.
Months later I had to accept that life had to go on. I had 4 excellent reasons to get up every morning and go on living. My children gave me the courage and strength to go on.
Another sad reality was that once again, I was single. In time I'd have to make an effort to put myself out there and find someone because for me, life was not meant to be lived alone.
I'll leave you with some advice. Some times there is no tomorrow, so tell those you love how you feel often because you never know when you'll lose them and never get the chance to tell them how much you love them ever again.
Dateless in Ottawa
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