I felt like a complete idiot, but what was done, was done. I got the kids ready for bed and went back down to do laundry and dishes when the phone rang. My girlfriend usually called at this time so I was shocked when I answered and heard a male voice. It was The Grizzly.
He brought up the rings. I apologized, it was not my intention to upset or insult him and I was most definitely a widow. The rings had been a part of me for so long that I didn't even notice them. I was honest and said I had a hard time taking them off. We talked for hours and he said he didn't think I was ready to date. Instead he wanted to be my friend, someone who would sit and hold my hand while I cried without expecting anything in return. For him friendship and being able to help someone in need was far better than nothing at all.
Wow, I was speechless. Here was this virtual stranger being compassionate and offering to help. I didn't doubt his sincerity for a second. I started to cry. He told me to think about it and we'd talk again soon.
The next day he texted to ask how I was doing. We both had a busy week, but he hoped we could meet up at some point. On the Thursday night I was going out with my girlfriends for dinner. He was working late, but said to let him know when I was done and maybe we could meet. I had the truck that night and my rear view mirror had fallen off on my way to the restaurant, so I needed to pick up some double sided adhesive at Home Depot. I texted him and he met me there. Strange to meet someone at Home Depot, but it was fun and he knew where to find what I needed. I paid for the adhesive and he fixed the mirror for me. As he walked around the truck he looked into the canopy and noticed the bed was full.
Him: "What's in the bed, it looks pretty full."
Me: "My husband's equipment and other stuff."
Him: "Why are you driving around with all this stuff? Are you that attached to his things? Things are just things, he's gone. Obviously you're not ready to move on. You have to let go already, this is ridiculous. While you're at it, get rid of the truck too because you don't need it. I'm going home and you should get home to your kids, it's late."
He barely let me get two words in. I tried to explain that there was tons of stuff in the garage and basement too so there was no point in emptying the truck. This was all stuff I had to get rid of, but I didn't know what half of it was or how to get rid of. I had the kids in counselling, work, then add all the paperwork and the legal case and it was all I could handle for the time being. I'd get to the stuff when I could, it wasn't a priority for me. I was extremely hurt and deeply offended by his comments.
My husband was a forest firefighter so there was work gear, hunting stuff, camping equipment, clothes and fishing gear amoung other things. I'd only gotten the truck back a few weeks earlier. It was driven back to Ottawa from Alberta by a close friend of my husband's when he heard I was going to pay to have it shipped back. He was coming back to Ottawa anyways, so he was happy to be able to help.
The following night The Grizzly called to apologize. He was quite upset and felt horrible for having been so harsh. After being up most of the night he came to the conclusion that I probably didn't even know what most of that equipment was for and more than likely wouldn't be able to get rid of it all myself. There was also the issue of having strangers come over to the house which he saw as a security risk for me and the kids if I posted stuff on Kijiji. He had worked in a sporting goods store, was a trapper, hunted and fished, so was quite knowledgeable on the various kinds of equipment, brands and values. He also had a lot of connections so he was going to go through everything, create an inventory and take care of it all for me.
I didn't know what to say and wasn't sure. We texted and talked and eventually I accepted his offer. This was the beginning of something incredible.
Until next time!
Dateless in Ottawa
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