Bad start, but I wasn't going to let it discourage me. I noticed more and more guys had profiles, and under the "About me" section all they had was, "If you want to know about me, just ask." Others copy pasted "Will fill in later" over and over again to fill in the space. If they weren't going to put in the effort to write a proper profile, they weren't worth my time. A few more compliments, then a proper introductory email.
Round 15:
6. Mr. Secretive
He was 50, divorced and had a grown son. I could tell his picture was not recent. Coaching hockey and being active was important, although he mentioned in his profile something about a medical incident and needing time to recuperate. He was back at work and walking often. The profile was very short and there weren't many interests other than hockey and trying to stay active.
His email was polite and simple. We had a bit of an exchange then he asked if we could meet for dinner. I told him we'd have to talk on the phone first. The conversation was laboured, there were many moments of awkward silence. He seemed very nervous and rusty when it came to dating and talking to women. I tried to encourage conversation by asking him about his medical incident. He became defensive and said he'd tell me if I agreed to meet him for dinner. He added that no one would notice if he didn't tell them what it was. If it's in the profile, be prepared to talk about it! Oh well, it was an excuse to get out so why not?
We agreed to meet at the entrance of the restaurant. I drove by on my way to the parking garage and saw him standing outside. He looked older and was bigger than in his picture. As I was walking to the restaurant, he texted to say it was busy so he was going to grab a table. That was bullshit, it was a Tuesday night and it was dead. I had just driven by and there was no one there.
One of my biggest pet peeves, after the bathroom selfies, is when you're meeting a guy for the first time and he doesn't wait for you outside. For me, a gentleman waits outside and walks in with you. I walk in and he's already sitting comfortably and having a drink? Nope, doesn't work for me. Add the fact that he didn't get up to greet me and I was less than impressed. Guys, at the very least get up to say hello to welcome her, shake her hand or give her a hug! Are we not civilized human beings?
The conversation in person wasn't any better. I had hoped it was just nerves, but we just didn't have much in common. We had a drink and a quick bite at which point he told me about his medical issue. He'd had 3 strokes and was still partially paralysed on one side. No wonder he got a table and waited inside, he didn't want me to notice. He hadn't played hockey in years which I pretty much figured out when I saw him. He was going to physio and walking regularly to rebuild his strength. He was nice, but very much a homebody. Sports weren't for me other than my kids' activities and with my kids being so young I didn't see any potential.
Our date ended. He insisted on walking me to the truck. I didn't want to make him walk so far and he lived out in the country so I asked where he parked. He tells me he took the bus. That made absolutely no sense. At that hour what bus was going to take him home when he lived over an hour outside of the city? Wait a minute! His licence had probably been revoked after the strokes. He walked me to the truck and wished me a safe drive home. I offered to drop him off at the bus stop, but he declined saying he needed to walk. Not sure how he got home, but I'll bet he didn't take a bus.
The next day he sent me a long text telling me how much he enjoyed meeting me and wanted to make plans to get together again on the weekend. As bad as I felt, I had to be honest and tell him I truly didn't feel a connection. I thanked him again and wished him luck with his search.
7. The Telecommunications Consultant
He had a great profile and I could tell he had a great sense of humour. He was 46, tall and blond with blue eyes. Not my usual preference, but one should be open minded and not limit oneself. He was divorced with joint custody of a daughter. He was former military working as a consultant. We had great email, text and telephone conversations. His daughter was the same age as my oldest daughter so it was interesting to compare notes.
Soon after we made dinner plans. When he spotted my truck he walked over and we headed to the restaurant together. He was attractive. He stopped and look at himself in every store window we walked past. A tad annoying, I don't find vanity sexy. We sat down and ordered and that's when things went down the toilet, literally! This is the gentleman I credit with the explicit details on bladder incontinence issues to which he further added how his doctor had prescribed Viagra because "he really needed it." Turning 40 had been a down hill experience for him. His body seemed to be falling apart. I was understandably taken by surprise and tried to be sympathetic, but sat there thinking, "Are you kidding me?" Our phone conversations had been great, no mention of medial issues. He'd gone on and on about the importance of physical intimacy and having a strong bond with your partner. Correct me if I'm wrong, but kind of hard to do when it doesn't work!
I also learned he had more pairs of shoes than I did! Never in a million years did I think that was possible, at least not for a man!
I lost count of how many times he went to the washroom. Deep down I felt sorry for him, but I really didn't want to hear the details of the invasive tests he'd had and upcoming appointments. We finished dinner and decided to call it a night. I enjoyed his company for the most part and told myself he simply needed a sympathetic ear. He insisted on walking me to my truck. He certainly had the chivalry down pat, I appreciated that. As we were walking to the truck he must have said at least 3 times how badly he had to pee and how he was going to stop in a driveway or alley on his way back to his car because he couldn't hold it. OMG! All I could visualize is this guy peeing in someone's driveway in the middle of Westboro. What a turn off. It was busy, there were people all over. Why didn't he go before we left the restaurant? Hell he'd used it numerous times during dinner! Any potential there might have been, quickly dissipated. He managed to sneak in a kiss, but it didn't do anything for me. We texted a bit after that and he helped me with some IT equipment purchases at work, then disappeared.
Not the best of experiences, but they could have been far worse. On a positive note, I was able to get out and socialize. Sooner or later Mr. Right would come along. According to some articles in magazines, men liked women that took initiative. Maybe I needed to take the bull by the horns and start sending some introductory emails. I needed to think about it.
Good night!
Dateless in Ottawa
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