Perhaps there was some truth to men wanting women to be more assertive and take the initiative. For years they had been burdened with the confines of chivalry. It's a wonderful feeling when someone shows interest in you and wants to spend time with you. Why shouldn't a man feel the same way as a woman? I'm still quite old fashioned or traditional if you will. Chivalry is huge for me. I've never been one to take initiative, it felt wrong. Even when I was in a relationship it was hard. Not that I believed a woman should be in a subservient role, but definitely supportive of her mate or husband and he would make most of the decisions. That's how it was with my parents and for me that was normal. Don't get me wrong, when dating I like to treat my partner too. When in a relationship I go out of my way to show my partner how much I care for him. It gives me great pleasure to cook his favourite meal and watch him enjoy it, or arrange for a sitter and surprise him with a date night or weekend get-away, the options are endless. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic and unrealistic, but when it comes to dating and courtship, I still believe the man should be making the first move.
Times change and much like technology evolves, so must our way of thinking and how we do things. The world is nothing like it was before. Long gone are the days of the knights of the round table. We must adapt and forge ahead!
As it relates to online dating, this meant I'd have to build up the courage to send introductory emails to men. Being faced with this challenge, I quickly understood how men felt. Who wants to be rejected? Certainly not me and yet I was the one always waiting for emails to come in with the power to accept or reject. Now the tables would be turned. I'd be sending emails and then playing the waiting game to see if they would respond. Then the added stress of wondering whether it would be a positive response, a rejection or no response at all. How long do you wait? Do you send only one email and wait or can you email several guys at the same time and hope that one answers? What if more than one answers? Oh my, this was getting more complicated than I wanted!
Some online dating sites have the option of paying to become an upgraded member. I laugh at how they market these extra features like they're a good thing. Features can include, but are not limited to:
1. Being able to send gifts
2. Checking when other members were last online
3. See when someone has read your email
4. See if someone has deleted your email
5. Add more pictures to your profile
Sending gifts online does nothing for me, if they were real gifts I might be persuaded otherwise! Lol Not sure I want others to know when I'm online either, but I suppose it's a great way to catch players that claim not to be going online after meeting you. I wish I had a dollar for every time a guy has told me that, I'd be rich! As it relates to seeing when someone has read or deleted your email, I would think that could be even more damaging to one's ego. For me, there's nothing more irritating at work when you receive a notification that someone has deleted an email you sent them without reading it! I take the time to read a profile, write a thoughtful email then I see they read it, but they don't respond or worse they delete it! Some times it's best not to know. Others would argue they want to know so they can move on. To each his/her own. Add more pictures? I hate having my picture taken so trying to find one, let alone three is already challenging enough, why would I want to add more??? Lol
Time to start doing some advanced searches, read profiles from the search results and build up the courage to send out introductory emails. On a positive note, this gave me the power to pick gentlemen I felt had the qualities I was looking for that I might not have communicated with otherwise. I buckled my seat belt in anticipation of a bumpy ride. This was going to be interesting.
Stay tuned!
Dateless in Ottawa
No comments:
Post a Comment