I was still hanging on, trying not to give up. There have to be some decent men out there somewhere. Very discouraging that articles were claiming a person has to meet dozens of people before they find the one. Some may think I'm a sucker for punishment, but on the contrary I'm stubborn and determined. This chick wasn't ready to give up yet. I made some minor changes to my profile, updated my pictures and waited for emails to appear in my inbox.
On to Round 9!
29. Mr. President (He had a really cool name. The same as one of the American presidents!)
This guy won the award for the best date ever, but failed miserably in all other areas. He was single, never married with no kids. He claimed to be working in construction and having his own company. After two quick meetings, we had our official date which started at Le Nordik. He was living in a beautiful home just outside of the city with his Mom and had a company truck. He came across as being very down to earth and normal, but slowly the truth started coming out. A couple of weeks later he called to apologize for being so distant to say he had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and had to declare bankruptcy due to non-paying clients. When I asked for details, nothing made sense and the story kept changing. I felt terrible for him and brought dinner over a few times. Another night I stopped by to see him and he was out. His Mom invited me in so I asked her how he was doing and whether they would be operating on the tumor. She looked at me as though I was crazy and had no idea what I was talking about. She told me he'd been ill with a neurological disorder for years and there was nothing that could be done. There was no tumor, he was fine. It also turns out this wasn't his house or truck either! Friends of the family were temporarily posted in Europe and he was house sitting as a favour with full access to all of their vehicles. I was dumb founded. Ladies and gentlemen, we have the Academy Award winner for best actor or should I say liar! I suffered a major blow with this one. How could a person be so cruel and dishonest? I tried to confront him, but he pulled a disappearing act. Overnight he moved away as the actual owners of the house returned. I never heard from him again.
30. The Israeli Kingpin
You could tell from the email he sent and his picture that he was a bit full of himself. The picture appeared to be older, but I wasn't sure. He was divorced with 2 children and said he owned a business. We exchanged a few emails and then he asked if he could call me. All he could talk about was himself and how successful he was. His children lived with their mother and visited him on weekends. Eventually, all he seemed to want to talk about was sex. He said it was good to understand a person's preferences and fantasies so it would be clear what needed to be done when they met. What? I completely disagreed and told him I felt it was inappropriate to get into such intimate details until two people have met and decided they wanted to get to know each other better. He then commented that he didn't think my picture was recent. I assured him it was and sent him another. Then I asked him to send me a more recent picture of himself. Surprise, surprise he didn't look anything like the picture on the profile. Over the years he'd gained quite a bit of weight, but he didn't think it was a big deal because he still looked good - in his opinion. He further commented that when people invite him over for dinner, he brings his own food because no one cooks as well as he does and he refuses to eat anyone else's cooking. This guy was too much, no wonder he was single. I couldn't handle the arrogance. I wished him well with his search. He got angry and said I was a bitch who didn't deserve such an amazing man. I wasn't going to waste another second on this idiot. Click, NEXT!
31. Mr. Teddy Bear
He was divorced with 2 kids. He moved to Ottawa for work and his children lived in Toronto with their mother. He was very tall and a great writer. We emailed for a bit then talked on the phone. He was very pleasant and interesting. He had been married to an Italian so was well versed in large family gatherings and food. He invited me over for dinner. When I arrived what stood out most was all the teddy bears on the couch. It seemed odd for a man in his mid-forties to have so many stuffed animals around. He gave me a quick tour of his apartment. Guess what? More stuffed animals in the bedroom. I asked if he saw his kids often, maybe they belonged to the kids? No, he did not. It was a nasty divorce and she got full custody so he didn't see the kids often if at all since he moved to Ottawa two years prior.
Dinner was great, it was obvious he loved to cook and was very good at it. We talked for a bit and then he suggested watching a movie. He was very polite and a perfect gentleman. After the movie I thanked him for dinner and left. He looked disappointed, but I honestly didn't feel a connection. He wrote that night asking to see me again, but admitted that he got the feeling I wasn't interested. I responded that I had a nice time, but no I didn't see the potential for a relationship. He said he very much enjoyed my company and I was welcomed to call if ever I changed my mind. I felt bad, but I can't pretend. If it's not there, it's not there. I thanked him again and wished him luck with his search.
32. The Naval Officer * another story I remembered and inserted here
He was older, 58. Divorced with no children. He had retired from the Navy, but continued to work at DND. His profile was very well written and we had many similar interest, more specifically travel. What stood out most for me where all the pictures from his world travels.
The introductory email was great and he obviously read my profile because he touched on many points. I did tell him I had young children, but he didn't seem to care. He wanted to meet and talk over a glass of wine. A refreshing change to the usual coffee date.
We moved to the phone and at first he was very polite, but all of sudden he sounded arrogant and rude. When he returned from a business trip to Vegas, he called and said he had a load of "Seamen" waiting for me. Ha, ha, was that a naval joke? How rude and disgusting when you haven't even met yet. From then on all he wanted to talk about was sex. It was such a turn off. The date was cancelled and I told him to keep on swimming and take all of his semen with him because I wasn't interested. There are some sick idiots out there!
33. The Contractor
He was tall, dark and handsome, divorced with 2 kids. He had his own construction company and did commercial buildings and restaurant re-fits. The company name was very familiar, but I couldn't place it. I later learned why. He had a good sense of humour and I enjoyed talking to him. He finally suggested we meet for drinks. My ex was supposed to take the kids that Thursday night, so we agreed to meet then. We would confirm the day before. I didn't hear from him again, which I found odd since we were talking regularly. Oh well, I figured another vanishing act. This was common with online dating.
On Thursday afternoon, my ex calls to tell me he's not picking the children up. No surprise, this was a regular occurrence. Later that night just after I put the kids to bed I heard banging at the door. I wasn't expecting anyone. It was my ex. He barged in and started yelling at me.
Him: "Who do you think you are? You lied to me."
Me: "What are you talking about? You need to leave right now."
Him: "Where's M---?"
Me: "Who?"
Him: "Don't play stupid with me and stop lying. You were meeting him for drinks tonight."
Me: "What are you talking about? Stop yelling, you're going to wake the kids up."
Him: "You had a date tonight. I went to see M--- yesterday afternoon and he told me he was going to meet a new chick. Guess who's picture he showed me? I can't believe you put yourself online to meet strange men. If you want sex or a relationship you shouldn't have left me. What is wrong with you?"
Me: "What I do is none of your business, I don't need your permission. We're done, I'm never going back to you. He never confirmed, I haven't heard from him since Tuesday so there was no date tonight, not that I owe you an explanation. Leave right now."
Him: "You make me sick. By the way, he's married. I can't believe you!"
Me: "Married? Great, if he's a friend of yours I shouldn't be surprised. He told me he was divorced. Unbelievable! Now get out. Tell him never to call me again, the two of you would make a perfect couple. Leave now!"
Him: "You better watch yourself, I'm not finished with you."
Then he turned and slammed the door behind him. OMG, my worst nightmare was just realized. What are the odds that I'd meet one of my controlling ex's friends online? No wonder the company name sounded familiar, he was one of the contractors that had done work at several of my ex's businesses. Plus, he's married to boot! Just when I thought things couldn't get worse.
I was going to have to lay low for a while. Adding my ex to the mix made things very overwhelming to say the least. Ottawa is a small city, this was bound to happen sooner or later. What a nightmare!
Time to revisit my options.
Dateless in Ottawa
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