A few more discussions you should hold off on during those initial stages.
6. Criminal records and/or arrest records and restraining orders
These are not to be taken lightly. Yes we all make mistakes and I fully agree that everyone deserves a second chance, but when you're going to gloat and laugh about having a record of any kind that sets off all kinds of red flags for me. Admitting to having made mistakes and demonstrating remorse is a completely different thing. By the same token, I'm not willing to put my job at risk so I'd be forced to walk away.
As it relates to restraining orders, for me it says you have some unresolved issues. The men that I've met that had these, were put in place by their ex's. I get it, these can be unfounded resulting from a fit of rage or revenge after a bad break-up. Experience has also taught me that when an ex who has put a restraining order in place finds out a man has moved on and has a new lady in his life, things can get really nasty. I'm not interested in getting caught in the cross fire or having to sneak around like a teenager. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and I don't want another one.
In cases where a restraining order is founded due to abuse, then you're not the kind of person I want or need in my life. Thanks for letting me know in advance. I bid you farewell.
7. Your sexual conquests
Do you really think you're going to impress me by rhyming off the names of all the women you've slept with and what their favourite sexual positions were? Please get me a bucket. I'm no prude, but spare me the details. All that comes to mind is how many STDs you might have and not even realize it. You're done, this date is over. Learn to exercise a bit of discretion and respect, if not for yourself, for the women you slept with. In return, I promise not to go into details about my past relationships.
8. Sex
You haven't met me yet so suffice it to say yes, I love sex. I think it's a wonderful thing and extremely important in a relationship. Both people have to be on the same page, so if you don't like sex this won't work. For now, we haven't met and have to figure out whether or not we're a match so let's leave the rest of the details for later. Keep in mind that every person is different so what worked with one may not work with another. A relationship is about two people exploring each other and getting to know each other inside and out, so we'll cross that bridge if and when we get there. Haven't you heard of creating a bit of mystery and intrigue? Don't spoil it!
This kind of ties in to #7. No need to kiss and tell. Create your own memories and likes with the person you're with now. You can certainly apply what you've learned, but the past is gone move forward.
I'll further add strange fetishes under this category. I fully support the live and let live moto. As open minded as I am, for me a relationship and physical intimacy is only shared between two people. If you need to have threesomes, are into BDSM, having sex with men, orgies.....please move on, I'm not for you. And no, you won't change my mind so don't bother trying to convince me. Those who tried, failed miserably.
9. Talking badly about others
You hate your ex, she's a bitch. There's no lack of negative comments about every person that walks by. The world is against you and now you're being rude to the waiter/waitress. Time for a reality check, you're not perfect so get off your high horse. This kind of bad mouthing and talking down to others does not paint you in a very flattering light. If you were trying to turn me off, congratulations you've succeeded beyond all expectations. Best of luck with your search!
I have more, but need to get back to my vacation.
Dateless in Ottawa
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