It's amazing how much information is provided on an online profile when you sit down and dissect it line by line. Amazing how much effort goes into creating a profile. I advocate being honest, but be careful about providing too many details that could land you in trouble. Other ones that can have some interesting answers include:
1. Do you drink?
- Most sites have a drop down menu where you pick yes or no, but others add more options like, socially, occasionally, regularly, often and more than 3 times per day.
Almost fell of my chair when one guy's profile said more than 3 times per day and under "About Me" he wrote he drank excessive amounts of hard alcohol daily. At least he was being honest!
2. Do you do drugs?
- Another one where you can pick yes or no and in some cases often!
A friend told me he came across a profile where a woman had chosen often then under "About Me" she listed all the various drugs she took. Everything from prescription meds to recreational drugs! He said the list had over 20 different ones. Talk about having an arsenal of drugs! A+ for honesty, but I'm not sure it's a good idea to be that detailed on your profile. She shouldn't be surprised if she gets a visit from the police. I can tell you with certainty that I'll delete any communications from men that do drugs. Not my cup of tea, but to each his own.
Next we go back to the topic of children.
3. Do you want children?
- Most individuals go with a yes or no answer, but some times you can also choose undecided or prefer not to say.
From my experience, the guys that chose prefer not to say have had a vasectomy. When I asked one of them why he didn't just pick no since he couldn't have any more children, he responded, "Because women that want children won't date me if I say no." Hello!!! Don't you think this is going to come up in a conversation? If a woman truly wants children, you're going to get dumped.
Sadly with this category at times one can feel damned if they do and damned if they don't. The answers can be interpreted very differently:
a) Yes
- For some this means they absolutely want to have children and they are looking for someone that wants the same thing.
- For others they may already have children, but want more.
- Some may take this to mean they would accept a mate with children and accept his/her children as their own.
In a case where I could only choose between yes or no, I would have to pick yes. Personally, I now have 4 children and don't plan on having more even though I originally wanted 6. I started late and now I'm single. Being traditional, no sperm banks for me! On the other hand, if I met someone who had never had children and really wanted one, the option is still there.
I also take it to mean that I would accept a mate's children and treat them as my own.
Amazing how many men go running for the hills when they learn I have 4 children and I chose yes under this category. One should never make assumptions. When in doubt ask for clarification! For me it's about being flexible and keeping your options open.
b) No
- This usually means the person is 100% sure they do not want children.
- Some have kids and don't want any more.
- Others may already have children and choose this because they are not interested in assuming a parent role to someone else's children.
c) Undecided
If "Undecided" is an option, it's probably the best choice. It leaves you open and flexible. When the time comes you can discuss where you stand on the subject and go from there.
d) Prefer not to say
Not sure why this should be a secret. We're all entitled to our opinion. This makes you sound a bit too evasive for my taste. As we're taught in school, when it doubt pick "c".
Caution: Don't assume you can change a person's mind, especially when it comes to having children. It's not for everyone, it's a very personal decision. Respect the other person's wishes and don't impose your needs/wants on them when they have clearly stated their preference.
Also, practice safe sex!
I think it's time for another topic.
Dateless in Ottawa
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