Next are a collection of components that simply require a yes or no response. Should be easy and straight forward, but still people find it necessary to lie. Some sites further give you the option of responding with "prefer not to say". I don't get it. I'm all for mystery and intrigue, but it gives the impression you have something to hide. Just be honest because sooner or later the truth will come out! By the same token, none of us are perfect. We do make mistakes or miss details that we can easily explain away when the topic comes up.
4. Do you have a car?
On the surface this sounds like an easy straight forward question. I would be of the opinion that most people know what a car is. Either you have one, or you don't. This could be considered a luxury item and certainly isn't for everyone. It is a personal decision that each person makes.
- For those that don't know what a car is, other nouns that mean the same thing include but are not limited to automobile, vehicle, truck, SUV, etc. Usually it will have 4 wheels and require some form of fuel or power source to function. One could argue that a motorcycle also falls within this category.
- I've met a few men that responded yes to having a car on their profile, when in actual fact they did not. Using public transportation does not qualify as having a car.
- One argument I've heard a couple of times is, "Women won't date a guy that doesn't have a car, they are too materialistic." If a person is materialistic, are they really the type of person you want to date? Probably not, so you're wasting your time and theirs with your lie because as soon as they find out you don't have a car they will probably dump you regardless of how charming you might be. Others will dump you simply because you lied.
- From my experience, when a man chooses "prefer not to say" he totally doesn't have a car.
5. Do you have a pet?
Another easy one. Although I will admit that I once forgot to go in and update my profile. Grandpa decided the kids should have a cat and gave it to them without consulting with Mom first. Needless to say Mom has a mild allergy, but decided not to be the bad guy and let the kids keep it. At the time I created my profile, we only had a fish so that was all that was listed. Never thought to go in and change it until I met a really nice guy who was deathly allergic to cats. I felt horrible. Needless to say I made that update right quick! In an age where so many people have allergies, it is very important to ensure the information provided about pets is accurate.
6. Do you have children?
Unless you suffer from amnesia or you're a regular sperm donor, you should know whether or not you have children and how many you have. It is possible you have children you don't know exist, but these cases are somewhat rare unless you're a soap opera star. Amazing how many children keep coming out of the wood work over the years! Whether you are talking to and/or seeing them or not, your children exist and I find it very offensive that someone would lie. Blame it on my being a Mom and seeing my children as my greatest accomplishment, but lying is lying no matter how you look at it.
One guy said he didn't have children, then during a conversation he went on and on about his daughter. When I asked him why he claimed not to have children on his profile, his response was, "She lives with her Mom so it doesn't count." OMG, are you serious? So, if you ask a pregnant woman if she's having a baby the answer should be no because she hasn't had it yet???
- When men choose "prefer not to say", it usually means they have children. Eventually you're going to meet the person you're communicating with and the conversation will come up so just be honest from the start!
7. Are you employed?
As previously discussed in another post, this seems to cause a lot of confusion. When in doubt, please refer to my post entitled "Time to reflect" under point 5 - employment status. You can also look up the definition of employed in the dictionary or Google it!
Then again if you're independently wealthy, I suppose you could argue you are in a sense employed as you're probably investing your money and earning interest. Yes I know, a bit of a stretch but I'm trying to provide some flexibility to the interpretation.
I think that covers all the components under the yes, no and prefer not to say category. If I think of anything else, I'll do an update.
Good night!
Dateless in Ottawa
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