This is turning out to be an endless collection of what not to say! I'll have to do a post on "What not to do" during a first or any date to compliment what you shouldn't talk about. We'll leave that for another day.
10. Finances and money
I don't need to know or want to hear about the following:
- How broke you are
We all have our debts and financial constraints. You better not expect me to feel sorry for you and pick up the tab because you asked me out. Even worse when you show up in a luxury vehicle wearing a designer suit and jewellery. My heart bleeds for you...Not!
- How your ex was awarded way too much alimony
Being a single Mom of 3 that never got any alimony or child support because my ex was self-employed and better at hiding his assets, don't expect any sympathy from me. At the end of the day you picked her.
- How much you owe in child support
Please see my response above. They are your children and your responsibility so man up.
- How expensive dating is
Really? That's a turn on when you're getting to know someone...Not! Dating doesn't have to be expensive. If you can't afford it, don't do it. Once again, don't expect me to pay the bill if you asked me out.
- Assigning crazy values to everything
My house is worth $1.2 million, I have a $4K commercial coffee machine, I only wear Hugo Boss, my best friend is a doctor and he makes $1.5 million a year, etc. If you're whole world revolves around money, labels and toys, I'm not for you. Look up the word "humble" might come in handy.
11. You
Yes, parts of the conversation will be on us; our accomplishments, family, jobs, interests, etc. But if you're going to sit there and brag about how good looking, smart and successful you are, you'll lose me. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A confident man is sexy, arrogance is a major turn off! In my opinion, humility is a far more attractive trait.
12. Name dropping
Congratulations, you know the top heart surgeon in Canada, all the politicians and various celebrities. My job has me meeting all kinds of people, but I have no need to rub it in anyone's face. Let's focus on getting to know each other instead of talking about all the people we know or claim to know and their connections.
I could keep going, but best to stop here. At the end of the day, a rule of thumb to apply is that one should exercise tact. Furthermore, you should be you and not try to pretend to be something or someone you're not. Keep it simple!
Good luck!
Dateless in Ottawa
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