For those using online dating, I'm quite sure you've had your share of unusual or strange questions and messages from other users. I had breakfast with a girlfriend this morning and she was telling me about POF and some of her latest odd emails. Always very entertaining to hear about everyone else's online dating experiences. She's so turned off she's thrown in the towel. For now enjoying the Summer will be her priority.
Below you will find a collection of strange, weird and unusual questions guys have asked before they've even met a woman. Most are mine, a couple are borrowed from girlfriends.
1. Should I bring my overnight bag?
Not what you expect when you're trying to make plans to meet for the first time. Just a little presumptuous, don't you think? So much for letting things happen on their own.
2. Do you play strip poker sometimes?
Pardon me? Can't say I've ever played. It could be fun, but highly unlikely to happen on the first or second date!
3. Are you ok with threesomes?
Excuse me? I haven't met you, let alone slept with you and you're already trying to bring a third person into it?
4. I have a foot fetish, can you describe your feet for me?
Sure: Sore and in desperate need of a massage! Lol Do you do pedicures?
5. What's your favourite sexual position?
Unbelievable! Why don't we just wait to see whether there's any chemistry or potential and we'll play it by ear? Besides, shouldn't there be a certain amount of mystery and intrigue?
6. Would you go to a strip club with me?
Not sure this is the kind of venue I'd pick for a first date or any date for that matter, but if we're going to watch the Chippendales why not? Based on his reaction I don't think this was the answer he was looking for! Lol
7. Is it ok if I bring my brother?
Really? I'm meeting a guy for coffee and he has to bring his brother with him? Sorry, but I'm not interested in threesomes.
8. Will you be my submissive?
Me? I think not, my kids say I'm too bossy so I guess that means I like to be in charge! LMAO
9. If I cuddle after sex, would you let me move in with you? I kinda need a place to stay.
Say what? We just started emailing and you're already making plans to move in?
10. I'll ask my Mom what she thinks about us meeting for coffee and get back to you.
Say what? Ask your Mom for permission to go out on a date? While you're at it, let me know what she thinks of my profile and the pictures. On second thought, never mind good luck with your search.
11. I lost my wallet and need to get back to Canada. Can you lend me a couple of thousand dollars so I can buy a plane ticket to come home? Don't worry, I'll take you out for dinner and pay you back as soon as I get home.
Yeah, sure the cheque is in the mail. Buddy, I didn't fall off a turnip truck yesterday.
12. My wife will be away next weekend, why don't you come over on Saturday?
Thanks, but I'll pass. I only date single, divorced or widowed men.
13. Do you like golden showers?
I knew exactly what he meant, but had to play dumb.
Of course I do, why do you think I travel to tropical places? Gotta tan on the beach for hours under the golden showers of a hot sun with a frozen margarita in my hand.
14. Are your boobs real? Would you consider having plastic surgery?
Oh my, we're bordering on insulting with these questions. Odd to ask these questions when you haven't met me yet. Then again maybe a tummy tuck would be nice if you're paying.
15. Would you like a load of seamen?
He was in the navy and no he wasn't trying to be funny. He was very serious. Once again a bit too forward for my taste. Try meeting in person first and then see where it goes.
"Very kind of you, but I'll pass thanks." Not to mention he needs help with spelling too!
16. Will you come visit me?
Another guy looking for sex. I couldn't resist.
"Visit you? Are you going to prison? Do you have to have surgery?" He got totally confused. Oh well, next!
17. Will you marry me?
I've lost count as to how many men have asked me to marry them simply based on pictures of food I had posted or after mentioning that I love to cook and bake. This question is supposed to be reserved for the "one" so I suppose I should be somewhat flattered, but the meaning is greatly diminished when it's not heartfelt and serious. Also a tad premature when you haven't even met in person!
Some of the questions blow my mind. Are these guys for real? Give your head a shake. And they wonder why they're still single? Oh boy, let me count the ways.
As I remember more crazy questions, I'll update this post. I'd love to hear some of your gems, feel free to share! If nothing else, I hope this post made you laugh.
Dateless in Ottawa
Sunday, 30 July 2017
Sunday, 23 July 2017
Speed Dating - Round 3
After several calls and emails from the organizers insisting I attend, I finally caved and agreed to participate. It was only going to cost me my time and parking so why not? A reason to get out and I looked forward to being entertained. After two very interesting experiences, I had no expectations. It would be great to network with other women. Funny that the organizers were so desperate for women to participate. No doubt we all felt the same way, especially after the last event.
The day of the event arrived. Thankfully I checked my email before heading out. The venue was changed. I didn't see this as a good thing. Anyone who didn't check their email would be showing up at the wrong venue. Six of us managed to receive the notification and arrived at the correct restaurant. The organizers had posted a sign at the other one, but 30 minutes later and the rest of the participants had not arrived. Someone went over to the other place to redirect people, but it wasn't looking good. The new venue was nice, very modern with chic décor. They led us upstairs to a small room with tables set up. Shortly after a waitress appeared with drinks. After just a few minutes, we were overheating. The air conditioning didn't seem to be working and it was stifling hot. We asked the waitress if they could turn up the A/C, but there was no change. Several people complained so they opened all the windows. The organizers arrived with a couple more participants and apologized for the delay. They said we'd have to get started as they were not able to reach the other participants.
There were three guys and five girls. We were all a bit tired of waiting and it was way too hot in there. By the time things go underway, we were over an hour behind schedule. The waitress brought pitchers of water and tried to make us comfortable. The event started.
Date #1 - The Artist
Another artist with a bold flowery shirt. I let him do the talking.
Him: "How are you? I'm _____ .
Me: "Nice to meet you."
Him: "Pretty hot in here isn't it? "
Me: "Yes it is."
Him: "What do you do for a living?"
Me: "I work for the federal government. What do you do?"
Him: "I'm in the process of selling some of my art."
Me: "How much have you sold?"
Him: "Nothing yet, I'm just starting to spread the word."
Ok, I was done. Thankfully the bell rang. Next!
Date #2 - The World Traveller
He had long hair and an unkept look. Once again I don't think he knew what business casual meant.
Him: "I'm _________ , what's your name?"
Me: "Nice to meet you, I'm ________ .
Him: "How was your day?"
Me: "Great and yours?"
Him: "Good, I just booked my trip to Norway. I'm going to travel around for a few months."
Me: "So you're trying to start a relationship, but leaving to travel shortly?"
Him: "It was something to do, nice to get out and meet people. Not looking for a relationship right now, just enjoying myself."
Me: "So you're taking vacation leave from work to travel?"
Him: "No, I work here and there just to save up so I can travel."
Next!!!!!
Date #3 - The Pretty Boy
It was very obvious he was a player. He seemed young for this event. Totally not my type.
Him: "Hey, how's it going?"
Me: "Good thanks and you?"
Him: "Great, just hanging out."
Me: "So what brings you here?"
Him: "I kind of have a girlfriend, but I'm bored. Looking for something new."
Me: "Kind of, are you still with her or did you break it off already?"
Him: "We're still together, I'm just looking for something better then I'll see."
Me: "I'm not for you, I wish you luck. Maybe you should be honest with your girlfriend and end it if you're not happy. Take care, bye."
I left. Oh well, no one can say I didn't try. I got to chat with one lady I had met at the last event and had a couple of drinks, so all was not lost. The new restaurant was nice, but they needed to get their air conditioning fixed. These types of events were not for me. My speed dating career was over.
Speed dating is very different. The nice thing being you don't waste weeks or months emailing and talking on the phone only to meet the person and realize there's no chemistry. You meet the person right away and after a few questions you know whether or not there's potential. For some this will be a great way to meet people and possibly find the "one", unfortunately it didn't work for me.
Keep an open mind and give it shot. Don't go in with any expectations, just enjoy the experience and use it as a networking opportunity. I stayed in touch with some of the women I met and we helped each other out with issues that came up at work. Nice to have friends in different fields.
Good luck!
Dateless in Ottawa
The day of the event arrived. Thankfully I checked my email before heading out. The venue was changed. I didn't see this as a good thing. Anyone who didn't check their email would be showing up at the wrong venue. Six of us managed to receive the notification and arrived at the correct restaurant. The organizers had posted a sign at the other one, but 30 minutes later and the rest of the participants had not arrived. Someone went over to the other place to redirect people, but it wasn't looking good. The new venue was nice, very modern with chic décor. They led us upstairs to a small room with tables set up. Shortly after a waitress appeared with drinks. After just a few minutes, we were overheating. The air conditioning didn't seem to be working and it was stifling hot. We asked the waitress if they could turn up the A/C, but there was no change. Several people complained so they opened all the windows. The organizers arrived with a couple more participants and apologized for the delay. They said we'd have to get started as they were not able to reach the other participants.
There were three guys and five girls. We were all a bit tired of waiting and it was way too hot in there. By the time things go underway, we were over an hour behind schedule. The waitress brought pitchers of water and tried to make us comfortable. The event started.
Date #1 - The Artist
Another artist with a bold flowery shirt. I let him do the talking.
Him: "How are you? I'm _____ .
Me: "Nice to meet you."
Him: "Pretty hot in here isn't it? "
Me: "Yes it is."
Him: "What do you do for a living?"
Me: "I work for the federal government. What do you do?"
Him: "I'm in the process of selling some of my art."
Me: "How much have you sold?"
Him: "Nothing yet, I'm just starting to spread the word."
Ok, I was done. Thankfully the bell rang. Next!
Date #2 - The World Traveller
He had long hair and an unkept look. Once again I don't think he knew what business casual meant.
Him: "I'm _________ , what's your name?"
Me: "Nice to meet you, I'm ________ .
Him: "How was your day?"
Me: "Great and yours?"
Him: "Good, I just booked my trip to Norway. I'm going to travel around for a few months."
Me: "So you're trying to start a relationship, but leaving to travel shortly?"
Him: "It was something to do, nice to get out and meet people. Not looking for a relationship right now, just enjoying myself."
Me: "So you're taking vacation leave from work to travel?"
Him: "No, I work here and there just to save up so I can travel."
Next!!!!!
Date #3 - The Pretty Boy
It was very obvious he was a player. He seemed young for this event. Totally not my type.
Him: "Hey, how's it going?"
Me: "Good thanks and you?"
Him: "Great, just hanging out."
Me: "So what brings you here?"
Him: "I kind of have a girlfriend, but I'm bored. Looking for something new."
Me: "Kind of, are you still with her or did you break it off already?"
Him: "We're still together, I'm just looking for something better then I'll see."
Me: "I'm not for you, I wish you luck. Maybe you should be honest with your girlfriend and end it if you're not happy. Take care, bye."
I left. Oh well, no one can say I didn't try. I got to chat with one lady I had met at the last event and had a couple of drinks, so all was not lost. The new restaurant was nice, but they needed to get their air conditioning fixed. These types of events were not for me. My speed dating career was over.
Speed dating is very different. The nice thing being you don't waste weeks or months emailing and talking on the phone only to meet the person and realize there's no chemistry. You meet the person right away and after a few questions you know whether or not there's potential. For some this will be a great way to meet people and possibly find the "one", unfortunately it didn't work for me.
Keep an open mind and give it shot. Don't go in with any expectations, just enjoy the experience and use it as a networking opportunity. I stayed in touch with some of the women I met and we helped each other out with issues that came up at work. Nice to have friends in different fields.
Good luck!
Dateless in Ottawa
Tuesday, 11 July 2017
Relationships & Settling - What does it mean and should you?
It's very discouraging when others tell you to stay in a relationship you're not happy in because: "You're getting older and you won't find anyone better."
"You're way too picky, what is wrong with you?"
What is settling? Is that what my parents did? Were they truly happy? How many people settle? This question haunts me endlessly.
In an age where everything including relationships have become so disposable and temporary, why would or should anyone have to settle? I suppose in some cases people have very good reasons for settling. It could be for financial reasons, due to religion, out of obligation or devotion and countless other reasons we probably wouldn't understand or think of.
Years ago and still in some cultures, if you're not married by a certain age you're labeled an old maid. This can be viewed as a disgrace and/or a burden to the family. A woman might feel forced to marry whomever would have her or who she's been arranged to marry to make her family happy and preserve their honour. Very sad, I can't imagine being stuck in that situation.
Personally I want to feel madly, head over heels in love with my partner and I would hope that he would feel the same way about me. Your heart should skip a beat when they kiss you. When they touch you, you melt and your entire body tingles. When you see them walking into a room you suddenly feel butterflies in your stomach. When you're apart, you yearn for them. There should be an element of passion. No relationship is perfect. There will be times when you're so pissed off you don't want to see them, but most of the time you should long to be together and miss them. Don't forget, make-up sex is a wonderful thing!
Am I being realistic? Sadly it's possible that many people don't experience any of what I've listed above. Reading this they'll think I'm insane and living in some fantasy world that only exists in my brain. In my case I have felt these emotions and know they exist. Trust me it's real and possible. You can experience fireworks. For years I didn't think it was possible. Watching all those romantic movies and racy sex scenes. I would gag and say, "Whatever, that is so fake as if!" OMG, when it does happen you are blown away. I can't begin to describe the feelings I experienced, but they are addictive and wonderful. Sad when I think that many people don't experience any of this in a lifetime. The question is will I find the same thing again? Is it a once in a life time thing that I should be grateful I experienced and now take whatever I can get? No two people are the same nor do they fit together physically the same way so one shouldn't compare, but it's so hard not to. How do you go from mind blowing sex to just ok? When you're accustomed to something a certain way, it's hard to accept anything less. Change is difficult and in some cases, impossible.
There are some amazing people out there, but at what point do our expectations become unrealistic and/or unattainable? Is it fair to the other person?
I'll ask the question again, what does it mean to "settle" when we're talking about relationships? Let's check out some definitions I found online:
1. Settling - accepting significantly less than you want, because you don't think you can get what you want. (Quora)
2. Settle - the act of giving up someone you love or something of value for less than desired, the act of not being able to satisfy your need or want and choosing someone or something of lower standard or value. (Urban dictionary)
3. Settling - being in a relationship with someone that you know deep down you won't always be happy with. (eNotalone)
4. Settling - staying with someone that you are not into or not in love with, just for the sake of being with someone. (eNotalone)
There are so many factors that can impact whether or not a person settles.
1. Fear of being alone
- I know many people that just can't be alone so they'll stay with whomever, just so that they are not alone.
2. Finances
- There are other out there that stay with someone simply for the money. They pay the bills and afford them a lifestyle they wouldn't otherwise be able to afford.
3. Convenience
- You fall into a routine and it works. It's not bad and it's not great, but it could be far worse so why not? Both parties are content.
4. Obligation/Devotion
- Growing up my parents drilled into us that, "When you make your bed, you sleep in it. Marriage is forever." All fine and well in a perfect world, but what happens if your spouse dies? What if they beat the crap out of you or cheat, do you have to stay? Should you be alone for the rest of your life? Seems like a person is punished for circumstances beyond their control.
5. Religion
- Much like my parents, the Catholic religion teaches us that marriage is forever. Divorce is a sin. Once again it doesn't address what a widow(er) should do. If you would have asked my Grandmother, she'd say you never look at another man. She was widowed at 29 and left with 4 young children. She wore black until the day she died at the age of 100 and never even contemplated re-marrying. She struggled financially and with medical issues, but the thought of remarrying never crossed her mind.
6. Age
- I would imagine the older you are, the less picky you are? Not sure I'm 100% sold on this as I find with age I get pickier and refuse to compromise! Lol As I look at my older relatives that have been widowed, things like sex, money, material wealth and jet setting around the world are not important. Most are content on their own or simply want companionship, someone to talk to, go for walks with, etc. Their needs have changed.
7. You believe you can change him/her
- A person will only change if they want to. You can't force a person to be someone or something they are not. Some will stay together believing that eventually they will change their partner and mold them into their idea of perfect.
8. Low self-esteem
- You believe you don't deserve any better so you'll stay with whomever will have you.
It's complicated. To me it is inconceivable to settle, I'd rather be alone than pretend to be happy. I have to be honest with myself and with the person I'm with. Perhaps one day I'll solve this complex conundrum. For now I have to trust that life is as it should be and see what the future brings.
Good luck!
Dateless in Ottawa
"You're way too picky, what is wrong with you?"
What is settling? Is that what my parents did? Were they truly happy? How many people settle? This question haunts me endlessly.
In an age where everything including relationships have become so disposable and temporary, why would or should anyone have to settle? I suppose in some cases people have very good reasons for settling. It could be for financial reasons, due to religion, out of obligation or devotion and countless other reasons we probably wouldn't understand or think of.
Years ago and still in some cultures, if you're not married by a certain age you're labeled an old maid. This can be viewed as a disgrace and/or a burden to the family. A woman might feel forced to marry whomever would have her or who she's been arranged to marry to make her family happy and preserve their honour. Very sad, I can't imagine being stuck in that situation.
Personally I want to feel madly, head over heels in love with my partner and I would hope that he would feel the same way about me. Your heart should skip a beat when they kiss you. When they touch you, you melt and your entire body tingles. When you see them walking into a room you suddenly feel butterflies in your stomach. When you're apart, you yearn for them. There should be an element of passion. No relationship is perfect. There will be times when you're so pissed off you don't want to see them, but most of the time you should long to be together and miss them. Don't forget, make-up sex is a wonderful thing!
Am I being realistic? Sadly it's possible that many people don't experience any of what I've listed above. Reading this they'll think I'm insane and living in some fantasy world that only exists in my brain. In my case I have felt these emotions and know they exist. Trust me it's real and possible. You can experience fireworks. For years I didn't think it was possible. Watching all those romantic movies and racy sex scenes. I would gag and say, "Whatever, that is so fake as if!" OMG, when it does happen you are blown away. I can't begin to describe the feelings I experienced, but they are addictive and wonderful. Sad when I think that many people don't experience any of this in a lifetime. The question is will I find the same thing again? Is it a once in a life time thing that I should be grateful I experienced and now take whatever I can get? No two people are the same nor do they fit together physically the same way so one shouldn't compare, but it's so hard not to. How do you go from mind blowing sex to just ok? When you're accustomed to something a certain way, it's hard to accept anything less. Change is difficult and in some cases, impossible.
There are some amazing people out there, but at what point do our expectations become unrealistic and/or unattainable? Is it fair to the other person?
I'll ask the question again, what does it mean to "settle" when we're talking about relationships? Let's check out some definitions I found online:
1. Settling - accepting significantly less than you want, because you don't think you can get what you want. (Quora)
2. Settle - the act of giving up someone you love or something of value for less than desired, the act of not being able to satisfy your need or want and choosing someone or something of lower standard or value. (Urban dictionary)
3. Settling - being in a relationship with someone that you know deep down you won't always be happy with. (eNotalone)
4. Settling - staying with someone that you are not into or not in love with, just for the sake of being with someone. (eNotalone)
There are so many factors that can impact whether or not a person settles.
1. Fear of being alone
- I know many people that just can't be alone so they'll stay with whomever, just so that they are not alone.
2. Finances
- There are other out there that stay with someone simply for the money. They pay the bills and afford them a lifestyle they wouldn't otherwise be able to afford.
3. Convenience
- You fall into a routine and it works. It's not bad and it's not great, but it could be far worse so why not? Both parties are content.
4. Obligation/Devotion
- Growing up my parents drilled into us that, "When you make your bed, you sleep in it. Marriage is forever." All fine and well in a perfect world, but what happens if your spouse dies? What if they beat the crap out of you or cheat, do you have to stay? Should you be alone for the rest of your life? Seems like a person is punished for circumstances beyond their control.
5. Religion
- Much like my parents, the Catholic religion teaches us that marriage is forever. Divorce is a sin. Once again it doesn't address what a widow(er) should do. If you would have asked my Grandmother, she'd say you never look at another man. She was widowed at 29 and left with 4 young children. She wore black until the day she died at the age of 100 and never even contemplated re-marrying. She struggled financially and with medical issues, but the thought of remarrying never crossed her mind.
6. Age
- I would imagine the older you are, the less picky you are? Not sure I'm 100% sold on this as I find with age I get pickier and refuse to compromise! Lol As I look at my older relatives that have been widowed, things like sex, money, material wealth and jet setting around the world are not important. Most are content on their own or simply want companionship, someone to talk to, go for walks with, etc. Their needs have changed.
7. You believe you can change him/her
- A person will only change if they want to. You can't force a person to be someone or something they are not. Some will stay together believing that eventually they will change their partner and mold them into their idea of perfect.
8. Low self-esteem
- You believe you don't deserve any better so you'll stay with whomever will have you.
It's complicated. To me it is inconceivable to settle, I'd rather be alone than pretend to be happy. I have to be honest with myself and with the person I'm with. Perhaps one day I'll solve this complex conundrum. For now I have to trust that life is as it should be and see what the future brings.
Good luck!
Dateless in Ottawa
Sunday, 9 July 2017
Speed Dating - Round 2
After my terrible first experience with speed dating, it took months for my girlfriend to convince me to try again. She was extremely persistent and eventually convinced me. My other girlfriend said she couldn't wait to babysit again an get a play by play on my eclectic adventures. When it comes to life in general, I always say you should try everything twice before deciding whether or not you like it. Time to take some of my own advice.
They chose a different venue for this event. It was brighter and more modern looking in the pictures. My girlfriend and I met in the market after work. We thought we'd grab a quick bite and a coffee then head over to the event. Just as we finished eating, she developed a bad headache. I pumped her with Advil, but she started feeling sick and had to leave. I was going to drive her, but she insisted I stay and participate. Besides I had already paid and it would throw the event off if two women were missing.
I walked over and signed in. I let the organizers know that my girlfriend had to leave as she was sick. There were a few people there already. The women were all well dressed, it was obvious most of us had come straight from work. We mingled for a bit. As I looked around the room, I was very disappointed with how the men looked. Here we are at a speed dating event that is supposed to be for "young professionals" and two of the guys are dressed in Hawaiian shirts unbuttoned to their waist. Really? I wasn't getting a good vibe.
The venue was nice, but then they lead us downstairs to an open room. It wasn't decorated, just a large open space. Eventually this would probably be an event space for private parties, but it wasn't finished. The tables were set up and we waited for the green light to start. Ok the ladies were seated and ready to go.
Date #1 - Mr. Permanent Vacation
Turns out he was one of the guys wearing a Hawaiian shirt. The age range for this event was supposed to be 35-45. There's no way this guy was 45.
Him: "Hello beautiful."
Me: "Hi there."
Him: "How are you tonight."
Me: "Good thanks, and you?"
Him: "Great! Why don't you ask the first question."
Me: "How old are you?"
Him: "I'm 53, but I feel 35!"
Me: "What do you do for a living?"
Him: "I haven't worked for a bit, just enjoying myself and taking it easy."
Me: "What were you doing?"
Him: "You know, odd jobs here and there."
The bell rang, thank goodness!
Date #2 - Mr. Finding Himself
Another one in a Hawaiian shirt. Was there a sale somewhere and these guys all happened to be at the same place?
Him: "Hey!"
Me: "Hello."
Him: "How's it goin?"
Me: "Good, you?"
Him: "Good, do you know if they're serving food here?"
Me: "I don't think so."
Him: "I'm hungry, didn't eat."
Me: "Did you come straight from work?"
Him: "No, I'm between jobs."
Me: "How long have you been off work? Did you get laid off?"
Him: "It didn't work out, just not what I wanted to do. Been off work for a few months finding myself."
...I was done. The guys at this event were supposed to be young professionals that have limited time to date. Wow, two in a row unemployed. This was not looking very promising. I don't have patience for dishonesty, not to mention the first guy was too old to be at this event.
Date #3 - Mr. Artist
He looked like a slob. There was no effort to look good, even wore flip flops. The event dress code was business casual. Obviously these guys are not professionals and have no clue how to dress.
Me: "Hi there."
Him: "Yo, what's up?"
Yo? I was beyond done at this point and struggled to be somewhat gracious. It was very, very hard. My girlfriend owed me big time for this!
Me: "What do you do for a living?"
Him: "I'm an artist. I'm trying to sell some of my work."
Me: "So you don't have a job."
Him: "I express myself through art. One day it will pay off."
Sure and maybe I'll win the lottery.
The rest of the night I was totally clued out and could not be bothered. Didn't even use any of my questions. The next several guys were all pretty much the same. Not working, enjoying life, taking it easy, way too old and totally didn't know how to dress. Half way through the event the organizers gave us a 15 minute break. All the women raced to the bathroom. We were all pissed and felt exactly the same way about these guys. A few of us went to complain to the organizers. This was not what we had signed up for. The MC said they were short on men and had to bring in a few from another category to fill the event. A few? What category - unemployed and desperate? So far not one of them was employed and this was one of the requirements to sign up for this event.
Back to the tables we went. I let the guys do all the talking. Got another one that was in his fifties and thought he was God's gift to women. I couldn't hold back.
Date #5 - Mr. Gigolo
Me: "So you're basically looking for a sugar momma?"
Him: "You are funny, love the sense of humour."
I wasn't joking. His shirt was unbuttoned to his belly button, he had several gold chains and walked around strutting like a turkey. He was much older with a beer belly and balding with a terrible fake and bake tan.
I didn't even meet with the organizers when it was done, I was out of there. Most of the women stayed behind to complain and demand a refund. I wrote a scathing email when I got home. What a waste of time and money. I was not pleased.
When I told my girlfriend how it went the next day, she was shocked. This was supposed to be one of the more reputable groups that organized speed dating events. They most definitely did not deliver. The participants on the men's side did not meet the criteria set out. Not one of them was employed or a professional, not to mention most they fell outside the required age range.
The organizer called to talk to me. She apologized and said that some people lie and it's difficult to verify information. I told her I didn't believe her. I can see there being maybe one or two people that don't meet the criteria, but she was very familiar with the participants as she also ran singles events along with a matchmaking service. She would have known many were far older. I don't appreciated feeling ripped off and having my time wasted. If they didn't have a sufficient number of participants, reschedule the event. Misleading people is wrong. I had to get a babysitter on top of paying for the event and parking. I wanted a refund. She said they couldn't give refunds, but I'd get a 50% discount on the next event. Yeah sure, like I'd sign up for another one.
Weeks later the organizer called back and insisted I participate at the next event. She would not charge me given the bad experience I had at the last event. She assured me this event would be better and everyone was appropriately screened and met all the categories. In actual fact, I learned later she was short on women and was desperate as they didn't want to have to cancel the event.
I told her I'd think about it. To date, my experiences with speed dating were not positive. I wasn't sure I wanted to waste any more time or money on this kind of an event.
Life goes on and there was online dating.
Dateless in Ottawa
They chose a different venue for this event. It was brighter and more modern looking in the pictures. My girlfriend and I met in the market after work. We thought we'd grab a quick bite and a coffee then head over to the event. Just as we finished eating, she developed a bad headache. I pumped her with Advil, but she started feeling sick and had to leave. I was going to drive her, but she insisted I stay and participate. Besides I had already paid and it would throw the event off if two women were missing.
I walked over and signed in. I let the organizers know that my girlfriend had to leave as she was sick. There were a few people there already. The women were all well dressed, it was obvious most of us had come straight from work. We mingled for a bit. As I looked around the room, I was very disappointed with how the men looked. Here we are at a speed dating event that is supposed to be for "young professionals" and two of the guys are dressed in Hawaiian shirts unbuttoned to their waist. Really? I wasn't getting a good vibe.
The venue was nice, but then they lead us downstairs to an open room. It wasn't decorated, just a large open space. Eventually this would probably be an event space for private parties, but it wasn't finished. The tables were set up and we waited for the green light to start. Ok the ladies were seated and ready to go.
Date #1 - Mr. Permanent Vacation
Turns out he was one of the guys wearing a Hawaiian shirt. The age range for this event was supposed to be 35-45. There's no way this guy was 45.
Him: "Hello beautiful."
Me: "Hi there."
Him: "How are you tonight."
Me: "Good thanks, and you?"
Him: "Great! Why don't you ask the first question."
Me: "How old are you?"
Him: "I'm 53, but I feel 35!"
Me: "What do you do for a living?"
Him: "I haven't worked for a bit, just enjoying myself and taking it easy."
Me: "What were you doing?"
Him: "You know, odd jobs here and there."
The bell rang, thank goodness!
Date #2 - Mr. Finding Himself
Another one in a Hawaiian shirt. Was there a sale somewhere and these guys all happened to be at the same place?
Him: "Hey!"
Me: "Hello."
Him: "How's it goin?"
Me: "Good, you?"
Him: "Good, do you know if they're serving food here?"
Me: "I don't think so."
Him: "I'm hungry, didn't eat."
Me: "Did you come straight from work?"
Him: "No, I'm between jobs."
Me: "How long have you been off work? Did you get laid off?"
Him: "It didn't work out, just not what I wanted to do. Been off work for a few months finding myself."
...I was done. The guys at this event were supposed to be young professionals that have limited time to date. Wow, two in a row unemployed. This was not looking very promising. I don't have patience for dishonesty, not to mention the first guy was too old to be at this event.
Date #3 - Mr. Artist
He looked like a slob. There was no effort to look good, even wore flip flops. The event dress code was business casual. Obviously these guys are not professionals and have no clue how to dress.
Me: "Hi there."
Him: "Yo, what's up?"
Yo? I was beyond done at this point and struggled to be somewhat gracious. It was very, very hard. My girlfriend owed me big time for this!
Me: "What do you do for a living?"
Him: "I'm an artist. I'm trying to sell some of my work."
Me: "So you don't have a job."
Him: "I express myself through art. One day it will pay off."
Sure and maybe I'll win the lottery.
The rest of the night I was totally clued out and could not be bothered. Didn't even use any of my questions. The next several guys were all pretty much the same. Not working, enjoying life, taking it easy, way too old and totally didn't know how to dress. Half way through the event the organizers gave us a 15 minute break. All the women raced to the bathroom. We were all pissed and felt exactly the same way about these guys. A few of us went to complain to the organizers. This was not what we had signed up for. The MC said they were short on men and had to bring in a few from another category to fill the event. A few? What category - unemployed and desperate? So far not one of them was employed and this was one of the requirements to sign up for this event.
Back to the tables we went. I let the guys do all the talking. Got another one that was in his fifties and thought he was God's gift to women. I couldn't hold back.
Date #5 - Mr. Gigolo
Me: "So you're basically looking for a sugar momma?"
Him: "You are funny, love the sense of humour."
I wasn't joking. His shirt was unbuttoned to his belly button, he had several gold chains and walked around strutting like a turkey. He was much older with a beer belly and balding with a terrible fake and bake tan.
I didn't even meet with the organizers when it was done, I was out of there. Most of the women stayed behind to complain and demand a refund. I wrote a scathing email when I got home. What a waste of time and money. I was not pleased.
When I told my girlfriend how it went the next day, she was shocked. This was supposed to be one of the more reputable groups that organized speed dating events. They most definitely did not deliver. The participants on the men's side did not meet the criteria set out. Not one of them was employed or a professional, not to mention most they fell outside the required age range.
The organizer called to talk to me. She apologized and said that some people lie and it's difficult to verify information. I told her I didn't believe her. I can see there being maybe one or two people that don't meet the criteria, but she was very familiar with the participants as she also ran singles events along with a matchmaking service. She would have known many were far older. I don't appreciated feeling ripped off and having my time wasted. If they didn't have a sufficient number of participants, reschedule the event. Misleading people is wrong. I had to get a babysitter on top of paying for the event and parking. I wanted a refund. She said they couldn't give refunds, but I'd get a 50% discount on the next event. Yeah sure, like I'd sign up for another one.
Weeks later the organizer called back and insisted I participate at the next event. She would not charge me given the bad experience I had at the last event. She assured me this event would be better and everyone was appropriately screened and met all the categories. In actual fact, I learned later she was short on women and was desperate as they didn't want to have to cancel the event.
I told her I'd think about it. To date, my experiences with speed dating were not positive. I wasn't sure I wanted to waste any more time or money on this kind of an event.
Life goes on and there was online dating.
Dateless in Ottawa
Thursday, 6 July 2017
Speed dating stories to inject some humour
Since I'm currently not dating, I thought it would be fun to include some stories from my adventures with speed dating.
Typically, I'm shy and keep to myself. I'm not overly outgoing, at least not in dating situations. Personally I like to be the observer and help my friends find their significant others. At work I'm completely different, it's all about networking because there's no pressure. Growing up I was always the wall flower. I had more guy than girl friends, but when it came to dating I found it awkward and wasn't interested. Online dating is a bit easier because it starts with emailing, you slowly move to talking on the phone and then if you feel comfortable, you eventually meet. With speed dating one minute you're sitting alone, the next there's a stranger sitting across from you. Kinda hard to hide! Lol
My girlfriend had tried speed dating previously and said it was fun. She's a social butterfly. After watching the movie "Hitched" I thought why not? I had heard about it, but didn't really pay much attention. She said it would compliment the online dating and provide more options. At the same time it would force me to get out more. Eventually she convinced me to go with her. No matter what we do, we always have fun so I had nothing to lose. Plus, strength in numbers helps! Lol
She signed us up for an event. I didn't know there were people who organize these events and go to great lengths to ensure the participants have common interests. This particular group was well known and held speed dating events at trendy venues based on age, profession and personal interests. I was impressed and thought, "Wow, this might turn out to be better than online dating." You had to create a profile and write a bit about yourself; what you do for a living, personal interests, qualities you are seeking in a mate, etc. It seemed well organized and I liked their choice of venue, The William Street Café. We often went there for coffee on the weekends, sadly it no longer exists.
A few days before the event, the organizers emailed us information explaining how it worked along with a list of suggested questions you could ask your dates. These were simply to give you some ideas, but you were welcome to come up with your own questions. You would have 7 dates lasting 7 minutes each. They did their best to ensure there was always an equal number of men and women.
Ok, I must disgress for a moment. Here I am typing this post while watching "Love Connection". I was flipping through the channels and came across it. I think it's new, a remake from the 80's version. So get this, after only one date the guy proposes to the girl and she accepts? Is this for real? My goodness I guess love at first site does exist. Ok, back to my post.
So another friend came over to babysit and I showed her the list of questions:
What do you do for a living?
Do you have any hobbies?
How old are you?
blah, blah, blah....the usual standard questions. These were too boring for me. I had to come up with my own questions. I need a guy that can think on his feet, laugh and at the same time challenge me. I was very pleased with my questions and excited to try them out. Off I went.
The Café was closed to the general public for the event. We each got a drink, perfect to take the edge off if you're nervous and they served some appetizers. The women were seated at the tables, the men would rotate when the bell rang. I went to my table and waited for the event to start.
Date #1 - Mr. Lava Life
The first gentleman sits down and I immediately recognize him. He had been emailing me on LavaLife and I wasn't interested. I had told him I was already seeing someone.
Him: "I thought you said you were seeing someone."
Me: "I was, but it didn't work out."
Him: "Sure."
Me: "I guess you haven't met anyone. Have you done speed dating before?"
Him: "No, first time."
...the conversation went down hill from there. Thank goodness the bell rang.
Date #2 - Mr. Tantrum
Fresh blood and I could ask my questions, I was excited. He didn't look my type. Way too skinny for my taste, but I'd keep an open mind.
Me: "If you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
The colour drained from his face and he became visibly upset. I was caught off guard.
Him: "That's not one of the questions. You have to use the questions they gave us."
He stood up and had a tantrum. He was yelling, "She asked me a question that wasn't on the list, she can't do that".
The organizer ran over while everyone just stopped talking. All eyes were on us. This was not good.
Organizer: "What's the problem sir?"
Him: "She asked me a question that's not on the list, she can't do that!"
Organizer: "Sir those were suggested questions, you can ask whatever you want."
Him: "No, that wasn't one of the questions on the list."
Organizer: "That's ok, you can make up your own questions or use the ones we sent you."
Him: "But she didn't ask me a question from the list."
...She got no where with him. Thankfully the bell rang. NEXT!!!! This guy was so not for me. I could see my girlfriend laughing her head off in the back corner. Glad someone was amused.
Date #3 - Mr. Humour
Now I was at a total loss. Do I use my questions or not? Oh, to hell with it. I march to the beat of my own drum. If these guys don't like my questions, then they're not for me!
Him: "Hi, I'm -------, nice to meet you. I'll let you ask the first question."
Me: "Ok, if you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
There was a moment of silence, I braced myself.
Him: "Grapes because they're sweet! You are hilarious, I didn't expect that. Can I ask you what happened with the first guy?"
Me: "Yeah, he didn't like my question. He said I could only ask questions on the list."
Him: "Are you serious? OMG, that's too funny."
We chatted, mostly about Date #1. He was nice, but not my type.
Date #4 - Mr. Miserable
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again! This guy looked way too serious from the moment he sat down. He also looked way older than he should have been for this event, but whatever.
Him: "Hello."
Me: "Hi, nice to meet you."
Him: "Ladies first."
Me: "If you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
If looks could kill, I'd be dead. He was so not impressed.
Him: "That's your question?"
Me: "Yes, I like to be different. Life is too serious, I like to laugh."
We didn't have much to talk about. This was not going well at all. I looked over at my girlfriend and she was having a blast. It was obvious she was talking about me. Next!
Date #5 - Mr. Former Boss
OMG, I almost died. This was not happening. As he was walking towards me I couldn't believe my eyes. He was one of my former bosses. One I hadn't really gotten along with.
Him: "Hi there, how are you?"
Me: "Good, how are you?"
Him: "Good thanks. Actually, I saw your profile on LavaLife. I've been meaning to write. I've been watching you."
Me: "Really? I didn't notice."
Him: "I don't have a profile picture up. I like to be discreet. How long have you been single? How are the kids?"
He knew exactly how long I'd been single as he knew my ex.
Me: "It's been over a year and the kids are good thanks. How are yours?"
Him: "The kids are good. Life goes on. You really upset the first guy, what happened?"
Me: "He didn't like my questions."
Him: "Wow, that was quite the scene."
Me: "Yup, I guess I have that effect on people."
Him: "What did you ask him?"
Me: "If you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
Him: "OMG, that is hilarious."
...and the bell rang, next!!!!!
The rest of the night was a blur. I let the last 2 guys ask all the questions. I just wanted to leave. Mr. Former Boss stared at me the rest of the night. At the end you meet with the organizers to rate your dates and let them know which ones you'd like them to share your contact information with.
Organizer: "How did you enjoy the event."
Me: "It was ok, definitely interesting. I'm really sorry about the scene with the first guy."
Organizer: "No worries, it happens. So, who would you like to see again? I have 2 guys that want to see you again. One of them is actually waiting for you outside."
Me: "No, I didn't find a match. There's no one I'd like to see again."
Organizer: "Really? Oh come on, let me share your info. The one guys is really interested and insisted."
Me: "My former boss? I don't think so. I know exactly who you mean and I still indirectly report to him so there's no way. Can you please ask him to leave?"
Organizer: "Oh my, that's awkward. Ok, why don't you think about it and you can call me tomorrow if you change your mind."
Me: "Sure, thank you."
What a night! My girlfriend and I went for a drink afterwards, I needed one badly. OMG, that was too much. She laughed so hard I thought she was going to pee herself. Looking back I can laugh now, but that totally scarred me. When I got home and told my other girlfriend what happened, she roared with laughter. "These things only happen to you, damn I wish I could've been a fly on the wall to watch it live." Oh well, I tried. Speed dating is definitely an interesting way to meet people, but you just never know how they will react. I say pick your own questions to make it more exciting and brace yourself!
Good luck!
Dateless in Ottawa
Typically, I'm shy and keep to myself. I'm not overly outgoing, at least not in dating situations. Personally I like to be the observer and help my friends find their significant others. At work I'm completely different, it's all about networking because there's no pressure. Growing up I was always the wall flower. I had more guy than girl friends, but when it came to dating I found it awkward and wasn't interested. Online dating is a bit easier because it starts with emailing, you slowly move to talking on the phone and then if you feel comfortable, you eventually meet. With speed dating one minute you're sitting alone, the next there's a stranger sitting across from you. Kinda hard to hide! Lol
My girlfriend had tried speed dating previously and said it was fun. She's a social butterfly. After watching the movie "Hitched" I thought why not? I had heard about it, but didn't really pay much attention. She said it would compliment the online dating and provide more options. At the same time it would force me to get out more. Eventually she convinced me to go with her. No matter what we do, we always have fun so I had nothing to lose. Plus, strength in numbers helps! Lol
She signed us up for an event. I didn't know there were people who organize these events and go to great lengths to ensure the participants have common interests. This particular group was well known and held speed dating events at trendy venues based on age, profession and personal interests. I was impressed and thought, "Wow, this might turn out to be better than online dating." You had to create a profile and write a bit about yourself; what you do for a living, personal interests, qualities you are seeking in a mate, etc. It seemed well organized and I liked their choice of venue, The William Street Café. We often went there for coffee on the weekends, sadly it no longer exists.
A few days before the event, the organizers emailed us information explaining how it worked along with a list of suggested questions you could ask your dates. These were simply to give you some ideas, but you were welcome to come up with your own questions. You would have 7 dates lasting 7 minutes each. They did their best to ensure there was always an equal number of men and women.
Ok, I must disgress for a moment. Here I am typing this post while watching "Love Connection". I was flipping through the channels and came across it. I think it's new, a remake from the 80's version. So get this, after only one date the guy proposes to the girl and she accepts? Is this for real? My goodness I guess love at first site does exist. Ok, back to my post.
So another friend came over to babysit and I showed her the list of questions:
What do you do for a living?
Do you have any hobbies?
How old are you?
blah, blah, blah....the usual standard questions. These were too boring for me. I had to come up with my own questions. I need a guy that can think on his feet, laugh and at the same time challenge me. I was very pleased with my questions and excited to try them out. Off I went.
The Café was closed to the general public for the event. We each got a drink, perfect to take the edge off if you're nervous and they served some appetizers. The women were seated at the tables, the men would rotate when the bell rang. I went to my table and waited for the event to start.
Date #1 - Mr. Lava Life
The first gentleman sits down and I immediately recognize him. He had been emailing me on LavaLife and I wasn't interested. I had told him I was already seeing someone.
Him: "I thought you said you were seeing someone."
Me: "I was, but it didn't work out."
Him: "Sure."
Me: "I guess you haven't met anyone. Have you done speed dating before?"
Him: "No, first time."
...the conversation went down hill from there. Thank goodness the bell rang.
Date #2 - Mr. Tantrum
Fresh blood and I could ask my questions, I was excited. He didn't look my type. Way too skinny for my taste, but I'd keep an open mind.
Me: "If you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
The colour drained from his face and he became visibly upset. I was caught off guard.
Him: "That's not one of the questions. You have to use the questions they gave us."
He stood up and had a tantrum. He was yelling, "She asked me a question that wasn't on the list, she can't do that".
The organizer ran over while everyone just stopped talking. All eyes were on us. This was not good.
Organizer: "What's the problem sir?"
Him: "She asked me a question that's not on the list, she can't do that!"
Organizer: "Sir those were suggested questions, you can ask whatever you want."
Him: "No, that wasn't one of the questions on the list."
Organizer: "That's ok, you can make up your own questions or use the ones we sent you."
Him: "But she didn't ask me a question from the list."
...She got no where with him. Thankfully the bell rang. NEXT!!!! This guy was so not for me. I could see my girlfriend laughing her head off in the back corner. Glad someone was amused.
Date #3 - Mr. Humour
Now I was at a total loss. Do I use my questions or not? Oh, to hell with it. I march to the beat of my own drum. If these guys don't like my questions, then they're not for me!
Him: "Hi, I'm -------, nice to meet you. I'll let you ask the first question."
Me: "Ok, if you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
There was a moment of silence, I braced myself.
Him: "Grapes because they're sweet! You are hilarious, I didn't expect that. Can I ask you what happened with the first guy?"
Me: "Yeah, he didn't like my question. He said I could only ask questions on the list."
Him: "Are you serious? OMG, that's too funny."
We chatted, mostly about Date #1. He was nice, but not my type.
Date #4 - Mr. Miserable
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again! This guy looked way too serious from the moment he sat down. He also looked way older than he should have been for this event, but whatever.
Him: "Hello."
Me: "Hi, nice to meet you."
Him: "Ladies first."
Me: "If you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
If looks could kill, I'd be dead. He was so not impressed.
Him: "That's your question?"
Me: "Yes, I like to be different. Life is too serious, I like to laugh."
We didn't have much to talk about. This was not going well at all. I looked over at my girlfriend and she was having a blast. It was obvious she was talking about me. Next!
Date #5 - Mr. Former Boss
OMG, I almost died. This was not happening. As he was walking towards me I couldn't believe my eyes. He was one of my former bosses. One I hadn't really gotten along with.
Him: "Hi there, how are you?"
Me: "Good, how are you?"
Him: "Good thanks. Actually, I saw your profile on LavaLife. I've been meaning to write. I've been watching you."
Me: "Really? I didn't notice."
Him: "I don't have a profile picture up. I like to be discreet. How long have you been single? How are the kids?"
He knew exactly how long I'd been single as he knew my ex.
Me: "It's been over a year and the kids are good thanks. How are yours?"
Him: "The kids are good. Life goes on. You really upset the first guy, what happened?"
Me: "He didn't like my questions."
Him: "Wow, that was quite the scene."
Me: "Yup, I guess I have that effect on people."
Him: "What did you ask him?"
Me: "If you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
Him: "OMG, that is hilarious."
...and the bell rang, next!!!!!
The rest of the night was a blur. I let the last 2 guys ask all the questions. I just wanted to leave. Mr. Former Boss stared at me the rest of the night. At the end you meet with the organizers to rate your dates and let them know which ones you'd like them to share your contact information with.
Organizer: "How did you enjoy the event."
Me: "It was ok, definitely interesting. I'm really sorry about the scene with the first guy."
Organizer: "No worries, it happens. So, who would you like to see again? I have 2 guys that want to see you again. One of them is actually waiting for you outside."
Me: "No, I didn't find a match. There's no one I'd like to see again."
Organizer: "Really? Oh come on, let me share your info. The one guys is really interested and insisted."
Me: "My former boss? I don't think so. I know exactly who you mean and I still indirectly report to him so there's no way. Can you please ask him to leave?"
Organizer: "Oh my, that's awkward. Ok, why don't you think about it and you can call me tomorrow if you change your mind."
Me: "Sure, thank you."
What a night! My girlfriend and I went for a drink afterwards, I needed one badly. OMG, that was too much. She laughed so hard I thought she was going to pee herself. Looking back I can laugh now, but that totally scarred me. When I got home and told my other girlfriend what happened, she roared with laughter. "These things only happen to you, damn I wish I could've been a fly on the wall to watch it live." Oh well, I tried. Speed dating is definitely an interesting way to meet people, but you just never know how they will react. I say pick your own questions to make it more exciting and brace yourself!
Good luck!
Dateless in Ottawa
Sunday, 25 June 2017
Living Vicariously through Friends that are using Online Dating
Several of my friends have ventured into the murky waters of online dating so I get to sit back and listen to their stories. Why go online when I can live vicariously through them?
I took a girlfriend out for lunch to celebrate her birthday and she confessed she went back online. She'd been in a relationship for over a year and sadly it came to an abrupt end just days before her birthday. I could sympathize, something similar happened to me years ago with the guy calling me the morning of my birthday party to tell me he'd cheated and it was over. Made for a great party with all of his friends there. It was aweful, we fought the entire night. He couldn't back out of the party since his friends were coming and it was too late to cancel. We tried to play good hosts, but failed miserably. Next time I'll just cancel and tell everyone why.
Anyways. I asked her how things were going with the online dating.
Me: "So, have you had any dates? How's it going?"
Her: "OMG, after about a week I had to hide my profile. I'm not sure I can do this. First of all it's all the same guys that have been on there for years and then there's all the creeps."
Me: "I'll be you have some good stories already."
Her: "Ha, ha, where do I start? This one guy asked me out for pizza. He was emailing on and off then texting and we finally picked a day. He was supposed to pick me up. About an hour before he was supposed to come and get me he texts."
Him: "So, do I bring my overnight bag?"
Me: "Are you kidding me? How old is this guy? Your first date and this is what he asks you?"
Her: "I know right? I wrote back, "No, absolutely not." Well he didn't show up, then 2 hours later he texts to tell me I can meet up with him at the bar he's at if I feel like it. Ok buddy, I'll be right there. NOT!"
Me: "Have you had any unusual dates?"
Her: "Get a hold of this one. I met a guy at IKEA."
Me: "IKEA? Ok, A+ for originality I suppose."
Her: "Yeah, hold on. So he wanted to meet for wine and suggests IKEA. I thought really, they don't sell wine at IKEA? He insisted they did and it would be fun. Whatever, I could do some shopping while I was there. So we met and it was awkward. We go to the restaurant to get some wine and surprise, surprise, they don't sell wine. Oh well, I had a beer instead and you're not going to believe what he got."
Me: "A beer too, obviously."
Her: "No, chocolate milk."
Me: "What? Are you kidding?"
Her: "I wish, but wait it gets better. So we're sitting on a couch trying to make small talk, but it was painfully obvious we had nothing in common. He was a teacher and his hobby is being a busker that juggles on stilts. I tried to be polite, but it was really weird with people walking by and others wanting to check out the tag on the couch."
Me: "Tag on the couch? Were you not sitting in the restaurant? I don't remember couches in the restaurant."
Her: "Oh no, he didn't want to sit in the restaurant. He thought it would be way more fun to sit in a show room."
Me: "What? OMG!" At this point I could not contain my laugher. I can just picture her sitting there on a show room couch with some guy sipping away on his little carton of chocolate milk having to move over every time someone needed to see the product tag.
Her: "Yeah, so that's how well it's going. Remember the psycho from 3 years ago?"
Me: "Oh no, not him?" This guy was stalking her, showing up at her house and work. It was really bad and he kept it up even when she was with her boyfriend who finally had to intervene and threaten to call the police and get a restraining order.
Her: "Oh yes, the one and only. I told him I wasn't interested and he is not to contact me again."
Me: "No wonder you've hidden your profile. Be careful with that one."
Wow, some things never change. Another girlfriend also decided to try it out and after receiving numerous messages soliciting sex, she deleted her profile. Oh well, I'll just offer an ear or a shoulder to cry on while listening to their stories. Can't wait for our next girl's night to hear more about their adventures in online dating.
Take care!
Dateless in Ottawa
I took a girlfriend out for lunch to celebrate her birthday and she confessed she went back online. She'd been in a relationship for over a year and sadly it came to an abrupt end just days before her birthday. I could sympathize, something similar happened to me years ago with the guy calling me the morning of my birthday party to tell me he'd cheated and it was over. Made for a great party with all of his friends there. It was aweful, we fought the entire night. He couldn't back out of the party since his friends were coming and it was too late to cancel. We tried to play good hosts, but failed miserably. Next time I'll just cancel and tell everyone why.
Anyways. I asked her how things were going with the online dating.
Me: "So, have you had any dates? How's it going?"
Her: "OMG, after about a week I had to hide my profile. I'm not sure I can do this. First of all it's all the same guys that have been on there for years and then there's all the creeps."
Me: "I'll be you have some good stories already."
Her: "Ha, ha, where do I start? This one guy asked me out for pizza. He was emailing on and off then texting and we finally picked a day. He was supposed to pick me up. About an hour before he was supposed to come and get me he texts."
Him: "So, do I bring my overnight bag?"
Me: "Are you kidding me? How old is this guy? Your first date and this is what he asks you?"
Her: "I know right? I wrote back, "No, absolutely not." Well he didn't show up, then 2 hours later he texts to tell me I can meet up with him at the bar he's at if I feel like it. Ok buddy, I'll be right there. NOT!"
Me: "Have you had any unusual dates?"
Her: "Get a hold of this one. I met a guy at IKEA."
Me: "IKEA? Ok, A+ for originality I suppose."
Her: "Yeah, hold on. So he wanted to meet for wine and suggests IKEA. I thought really, they don't sell wine at IKEA? He insisted they did and it would be fun. Whatever, I could do some shopping while I was there. So we met and it was awkward. We go to the restaurant to get some wine and surprise, surprise, they don't sell wine. Oh well, I had a beer instead and you're not going to believe what he got."
Me: "A beer too, obviously."
Her: "No, chocolate milk."
Me: "What? Are you kidding?"
Her: "I wish, but wait it gets better. So we're sitting on a couch trying to make small talk, but it was painfully obvious we had nothing in common. He was a teacher and his hobby is being a busker that juggles on stilts. I tried to be polite, but it was really weird with people walking by and others wanting to check out the tag on the couch."
Me: "Tag on the couch? Were you not sitting in the restaurant? I don't remember couches in the restaurant."
Her: "Oh no, he didn't want to sit in the restaurant. He thought it would be way more fun to sit in a show room."
Me: "What? OMG!" At this point I could not contain my laugher. I can just picture her sitting there on a show room couch with some guy sipping away on his little carton of chocolate milk having to move over every time someone needed to see the product tag.
Her: "Yeah, so that's how well it's going. Remember the psycho from 3 years ago?"
Me: "Oh no, not him?" This guy was stalking her, showing up at her house and work. It was really bad and he kept it up even when she was with her boyfriend who finally had to intervene and threaten to call the police and get a restraining order.
Her: "Oh yes, the one and only. I told him I wasn't interested and he is not to contact me again."
Me: "No wonder you've hidden your profile. Be careful with that one."
Wow, some things never change. Another girlfriend also decided to try it out and after receiving numerous messages soliciting sex, she deleted her profile. Oh well, I'll just offer an ear or a shoulder to cry on while listening to their stories. Can't wait for our next girl's night to hear more about their adventures in online dating.
Take care!
Dateless in Ottawa
Wednesday, 17 May 2017
Dating - Hands and Feet matter
Hands are one of the first things I notice when I meet someone. They come in all shapes, sizes and colours. Long fingers, short fingers, very warm and strong, cold, gentle and soft. Some have jewellery, or tattoos, perhaps a watch there are countless variations. Feet are usually more hidden, but sooner or later they make an appearance. One thing I'd like to point out, you don't wear socks with sandals or nylons with open toed shoes. Major fashion faux pas. Sorry, had to get that off my chest! Lol
Hands can tell you a bit about a person. Their appearance and how they feel can give you an idea or hint about the kind of work they do for a living.
1. If they are blackened and greasy looking, perhaps they're a mechanic?
2. If they feel rough and there's dirt under the nails you know they definitely work with their hands. Maybe construction or a trade.
3. If they are smooth and clean, they probably have a white collar job and work in an office or they might be a bit metrosexual and go out of their way to make sure they look good! Lol
The appearance of a person's hands can also reflect on the person's level of hygiene. Dirty and unkept looking hands are not very appealing. The first thought that comes to my mind is, "He ain't touching me with those hands."
When a guy works in a trade or as a mechanic, I get it your hands get dirty, but there are products out there to clean them. Even something as simple as keeping your nails trimmed makes a huge difference. When nails are too long, dirt accumulates underneath them and all you see is a thick black line. Long and jagged nails don't look good either and can do a lot of damage, if you know what I mean. Feel free to ask for clarification, although it should be very obvious.
Keep in mind that your butt is cleaner than your hands to begin with. Hands touch all kinds of things on a regular basis putting them in contact with a multitude of germs and bacteria. When you don't wash them or remove the dirt from underneath your finger nails, you make it far worse and encourage bacteria to thrive.
I know I'm super anal and wash my hands any chance I get. All my friends laugh at me because I have wipes in my purse at all times. This dates back to when I started babysitting my best friend's baby. When I had my children, I always insisted people wash their hands before touching them. I can't stand it when my hands are dirty. Being an esthetician, I think back to my courses. The importance of nail hygiene to prevent fungal infections was hammered into us by our teacher. It's incredible how dirty our hands are. People think using hand sanitizer is the solution, but unless it has a minimum alcohol content of 70%, there's no point. Better than nothing I suppose, but good old fashioned soap and water is the best thing to use.
It really irks me when a guy touches my face after he's just finished eating with his hands or he was handling his car keys or money. My skin crawls. By the way, if you just finished a cigar, please go wash your hands although that smell lingers for days. Having sensitive skin, it doesn't take much to cause a breakout or rash. Please wash your hands before you touch me! It's amazing how many people don't realize or think. Common sense goes a long way.
Nail biters are annoying too, but I have to keep in mind that I used to bite my nails so badly they'd bleed. Nothing worse than trying to have a conversation with someone that constantly has their fingers in their mouth! Not to mention how ugly their nails and hands look. Thankfully I managed to stop that terrible habit and then went on to become a hand model of all things! Best paying job I've ever had. I have what the modelling industry considers perfect hands.
Ladies, if you're going to go to the trouble of painting your nails, keep them looking good. Chipped or worn off polish looks terrible. If you're a nail biter, don't bother with polish. Last thing you need to do is ingest formaldehyde and other chemicals I can't spell or pronounce which are found in most nail polishes.
At the end of the day, take pride in your overall appearance. Don't you want the person you're with to be able to touch you and have it feel good? This applies to men and women. There's no excuse. Don't get me wrong, there are times when dirty can be lots of fun...perhaps playing with food, glow in the dark body paint, chocolate, whatever your flavour. You make do with what you have and let the creative juices flow.
Just like cold hand or feet, nothing worse than hands or feet that feel like sandpaper against your skin or nails cutting you. That happened to me once. We were in bed and his toe nails were really long. While play fighting one of the nails cut the side of my foot open. It totally spoiled the mood and made a mess. Unbelievable how much a cut on your foot can bleed! There's all kinds of products and creams to help with dry skin. Yes, this also applies to your feet and toe nails. Bacteria creates odours so keep them clean and well trimmed too! Once in a while the rough and unkept look can be sexy, but there's a limit. If you can't be bothered to do it yourself, treat yourself to a manicure and a pedicure. You'll love it. Ladies like I've said before, if you can find a guy that enjoys manicure/pedicure dates with you, he's a keeper!
Go wash your hands!
Dateless in Ottawa
Hands can tell you a bit about a person. Their appearance and how they feel can give you an idea or hint about the kind of work they do for a living.
1. If they are blackened and greasy looking, perhaps they're a mechanic?
2. If they feel rough and there's dirt under the nails you know they definitely work with their hands. Maybe construction or a trade.
3. If they are smooth and clean, they probably have a white collar job and work in an office or they might be a bit metrosexual and go out of their way to make sure they look good! Lol
The appearance of a person's hands can also reflect on the person's level of hygiene. Dirty and unkept looking hands are not very appealing. The first thought that comes to my mind is, "He ain't touching me with those hands."
When a guy works in a trade or as a mechanic, I get it your hands get dirty, but there are products out there to clean them. Even something as simple as keeping your nails trimmed makes a huge difference. When nails are too long, dirt accumulates underneath them and all you see is a thick black line. Long and jagged nails don't look good either and can do a lot of damage, if you know what I mean. Feel free to ask for clarification, although it should be very obvious.
Keep in mind that your butt is cleaner than your hands to begin with. Hands touch all kinds of things on a regular basis putting them in contact with a multitude of germs and bacteria. When you don't wash them or remove the dirt from underneath your finger nails, you make it far worse and encourage bacteria to thrive.
I know I'm super anal and wash my hands any chance I get. All my friends laugh at me because I have wipes in my purse at all times. This dates back to when I started babysitting my best friend's baby. When I had my children, I always insisted people wash their hands before touching them. I can't stand it when my hands are dirty. Being an esthetician, I think back to my courses. The importance of nail hygiene to prevent fungal infections was hammered into us by our teacher. It's incredible how dirty our hands are. People think using hand sanitizer is the solution, but unless it has a minimum alcohol content of 70%, there's no point. Better than nothing I suppose, but good old fashioned soap and water is the best thing to use.
It really irks me when a guy touches my face after he's just finished eating with his hands or he was handling his car keys or money. My skin crawls. By the way, if you just finished a cigar, please go wash your hands although that smell lingers for days. Having sensitive skin, it doesn't take much to cause a breakout or rash. Please wash your hands before you touch me! It's amazing how many people don't realize or think. Common sense goes a long way.
Nail biters are annoying too, but I have to keep in mind that I used to bite my nails so badly they'd bleed. Nothing worse than trying to have a conversation with someone that constantly has their fingers in their mouth! Not to mention how ugly their nails and hands look. Thankfully I managed to stop that terrible habit and then went on to become a hand model of all things! Best paying job I've ever had. I have what the modelling industry considers perfect hands.
Ladies, if you're going to go to the trouble of painting your nails, keep them looking good. Chipped or worn off polish looks terrible. If you're a nail biter, don't bother with polish. Last thing you need to do is ingest formaldehyde and other chemicals I can't spell or pronounce which are found in most nail polishes.
At the end of the day, take pride in your overall appearance. Don't you want the person you're with to be able to touch you and have it feel good? This applies to men and women. There's no excuse. Don't get me wrong, there are times when dirty can be lots of fun...perhaps playing with food, glow in the dark body paint, chocolate, whatever your flavour. You make do with what you have and let the creative juices flow.
Just like cold hand or feet, nothing worse than hands or feet that feel like sandpaper against your skin or nails cutting you. That happened to me once. We were in bed and his toe nails were really long. While play fighting one of the nails cut the side of my foot open. It totally spoiled the mood and made a mess. Unbelievable how much a cut on your foot can bleed! There's all kinds of products and creams to help with dry skin. Yes, this also applies to your feet and toe nails. Bacteria creates odours so keep them clean and well trimmed too! Once in a while the rough and unkept look can be sexy, but there's a limit. If you can't be bothered to do it yourself, treat yourself to a manicure and a pedicure. You'll love it. Ladies like I've said before, if you can find a guy that enjoys manicure/pedicure dates with you, he's a keeper!
Go wash your hands!
Dateless in Ottawa
Sunday, 14 May 2017
Strange Interactions - Updated
For those of you have used or are using online dating, you encounter all kinds of individuals. We get our share of strange emails and interactions. Remaining friends is a great option when I meet a guy who is nice, but we just don't have the chemistry to build a relationship. Online dating can result in a number of different types of relationships, friendship being one of them. It could be because we have a hobby or interest in common. Career wise networking is important and different people can have skills that can add to our lives or help with advancement. Alternatively if I can help someone, it makes me feel good.
Over the years I've stayed friends with some of the guys I've met. Having someone you can call when a question comes up in an area of their expertise is awesome. Car repairs is a perfect example! Construction, taxes and computers are others. Nice to have people around whose company you enjoy. Why eat alone or spend a weekend at home bored?
Let's back track to bachelor #40 - Mr. Navy. Due to his indecisiveness (amoung other things), he was definitely not for me, but I enjoyed our conversations and later on my son was able to shadow him at work for a school project. Not long after I ended things, he met someone else. They're still together. We stay in touch casually on Facebook and went to a movie before he met his new girlfriend. The odd time we'll run into each other through work. Last time he was with a client and he went on and on about how great I was. The poor client was trying to talk business and at a loss for words. I finally excused myself, but he made it a point to come and find me before he left.
One day out of the blue he texted. We chatted for a bit. He caught me off guard because it was 1:00 am and he's not a night owl. He started sending me the lyrics of his favourite Spanish song. It sounded like he was melancholy and lonely, might have even been drinking because he wasn't making any sense. All of a sudden in mid conversation he says, "Exactly one year ago today we were tanning in my backyard." I didn't know what to say. When you're in a relationship with someone else, why contact someone you dated previously to mention that? Nice thing to remember on your anniversary when you're with the same person, but it seemed out of place especially since we only dated for a couple of weeks.
He sent a message for my birthday. A while later when planning a group trip to Cuba, he emailed to ask if I was interested in joining. I couldn't go at that time, but thanked him for thinking of me. Then he said we should meet for drinks so he could brush up on his Spanish. I found it odd and decided to call it a night. He had a bad track record for making plans, so if he wanted to meet for drinks he could make the plans. He made it a point to remind me that he was still going out with the same person. I told him I was seeing someone too. I didn't hear from him again for a long while.
Just recently he started texting again late one night. He mentioned he was going to Cuba with his girlfriend in a few weeks. I wished him a good trip then he asked me if I'd like to go with them. This seemed really odd. A vacation would be awesome, but I don't think that would be a good idea. I appreciated the offer, but turned him down. Then he says, "This weather has been so unpredictable. Two years ago today you and I were taking in the sun in my backyard." Ok, so now he's been with this chick for close to 2 years and apparently it's serious. Why contact me to reminisce about a date that happened 2 years ago and ask me to join them on their trip? Sure, I'll be the third wheel....NOT! Very weird if you ask me. How would he introduce me? This is ------, we dated for a couple of weeks and tanned in my backyard 2 years ago. Not too awkward, I'm sure his girlfriend would be thrilled to have me along.
I guess I should be grateful, interactions like these make life more interesting. Maybe next time I'll say yes to joining them on a trip. Wouldn't that be interesting. If it ever happens, I'll write a post on my blog and fill you all in! Lol
P.S. Had to add more to this post. So, there's a work event coming up in a few weeks and Mr. Navy wrote to ask me if I'd be there cause he can't wait to see me. For the life of me, I'll never understand men.
P.P.S. He found me at the work event. It was busy and he tried to carry on a conversation in Spanish. I had to get back to work. We hadn't seen each other in about a year. As we age we change, some for the better others....I'll leave it at that.
Have fun and feel free to share some of your unusual stories.
Dateless in Ottawa
Over the years I've stayed friends with some of the guys I've met. Having someone you can call when a question comes up in an area of their expertise is awesome. Car repairs is a perfect example! Construction, taxes and computers are others. Nice to have people around whose company you enjoy. Why eat alone or spend a weekend at home bored?
Let's back track to bachelor #40 - Mr. Navy. Due to his indecisiveness (amoung other things), he was definitely not for me, but I enjoyed our conversations and later on my son was able to shadow him at work for a school project. Not long after I ended things, he met someone else. They're still together. We stay in touch casually on Facebook and went to a movie before he met his new girlfriend. The odd time we'll run into each other through work. Last time he was with a client and he went on and on about how great I was. The poor client was trying to talk business and at a loss for words. I finally excused myself, but he made it a point to come and find me before he left.
One day out of the blue he texted. We chatted for a bit. He caught me off guard because it was 1:00 am and he's not a night owl. He started sending me the lyrics of his favourite Spanish song. It sounded like he was melancholy and lonely, might have even been drinking because he wasn't making any sense. All of a sudden in mid conversation he says, "Exactly one year ago today we were tanning in my backyard." I didn't know what to say. When you're in a relationship with someone else, why contact someone you dated previously to mention that? Nice thing to remember on your anniversary when you're with the same person, but it seemed out of place especially since we only dated for a couple of weeks.
He sent a message for my birthday. A while later when planning a group trip to Cuba, he emailed to ask if I was interested in joining. I couldn't go at that time, but thanked him for thinking of me. Then he said we should meet for drinks so he could brush up on his Spanish. I found it odd and decided to call it a night. He had a bad track record for making plans, so if he wanted to meet for drinks he could make the plans. He made it a point to remind me that he was still going out with the same person. I told him I was seeing someone too. I didn't hear from him again for a long while.
Just recently he started texting again late one night. He mentioned he was going to Cuba with his girlfriend in a few weeks. I wished him a good trip then he asked me if I'd like to go with them. This seemed really odd. A vacation would be awesome, but I don't think that would be a good idea. I appreciated the offer, but turned him down. Then he says, "This weather has been so unpredictable. Two years ago today you and I were taking in the sun in my backyard." Ok, so now he's been with this chick for close to 2 years and apparently it's serious. Why contact me to reminisce about a date that happened 2 years ago and ask me to join them on their trip? Sure, I'll be the third wheel....NOT! Very weird if you ask me. How would he introduce me? This is ------, we dated for a couple of weeks and tanned in my backyard 2 years ago. Not too awkward, I'm sure his girlfriend would be thrilled to have me along.
I guess I should be grateful, interactions like these make life more interesting. Maybe next time I'll say yes to joining them on a trip. Wouldn't that be interesting. If it ever happens, I'll write a post on my blog and fill you all in! Lol
P.S. Had to add more to this post. So, there's a work event coming up in a few weeks and Mr. Navy wrote to ask me if I'd be there cause he can't wait to see me. For the life of me, I'll never understand men.
P.P.S. He found me at the work event. It was busy and he tried to carry on a conversation in Spanish. I had to get back to work. We hadn't seen each other in about a year. As we age we change, some for the better others....I'll leave it at that.
Have fun and feel free to share some of your unusual stories.
Dateless in Ottawa
Thursday, 4 May 2017
Men, Vehicles and Dating
When it comes to cars, men are usually more knowledgeable than women. My husband was an exception. He didn't even know what a tune up was, I was floored! The year I turned 21 I bought my first car. It was a bright yellow, standard transmission Hyundai Scoupe with a cool black graphics package. I had to have a stick shift, it was so much fun. When I brought it home my Dad said I had to learn how to change a tire. Well, I spent the entire day taking them off and putting them back on. When I was done changing them about 4 times, Dad came over and said, "There, now you know how to take the jack out and change a tire. If ever you're out and get a flat tire don't call me, do it yourself." Soon after I learned how to pump my own gas, check the oil, verify the tire pressure and the basics under the hood. The dealership still managed to rip me off on numerous occasions, but I slowly learned all the terminology they use to trick women into unnecessary repairs.
Fast forward to men and dating. It's amazing the impact a vehicle can have on the way a woman is perceived. My Scoupe was a cute little sports car, exactly what many would figure was perfect for a girly girl. I will admit most guys weren't crazy about being seen in it. Then I got a Jeep TJ and all the guys wanted a ride in it, especially in the Summer with the top off! Funny cause they'd all say that was a guy vehicle. Boy do I still miss my Jeep, but after becoming a Mom everyone said I needed a safer vehicle because it was a soft top. I shouldn't have listened to them, mind you after baby #3 arrived I would've had no choice as you can't put a baby seat in the front passenger seat. Oh well, I will get another one eventually.
After the kids arrived, a mini-van was the most convenient and cost effective mode of transportation. Definitely not a sexy vehicle by any stretch of the imagination, but it was practical with lots of room for baby gear and extra friends too! It still works well for growing teenagers, sports and a dance Mom. Can't beat it when it comes to comfort, especially on long road trips. Show up for a date in the mini-van and you have Mom written all over your face!
Personally I've always loved larger vehicles. Most of it probably stems from the fact that my parents only bought full-sized station wagons. The best part was the flip up third row seat that faced the back. Growing up we fought over the back row, but as we got older we didn't want to get caught dead driving them. Mind you, when you were going out with a bunch of friends there was tons of room. Heck you could have a party in those suckers! For me it's the safety factor. I feel way safer in a big vehicle plus with our winters, they are far better on the road. My Scoupe was so light it was all over the place in the winter. I'd have to load the back trunk with salt or sand bags to weight it down. After that I swore I'd never buy another small car.
The Tahoe and the Yukon XL are my favourites. I'd also take a Suburban, but the older styles. The newer ones are way smaller and too sleek looking. With a large family, size matters!
Enter dating:
I love men's reactions when I arrive for a first date in my truck. A Chevy Silverado is not what a guy expects a women to show up in. Kind of gives me a rugged kind of tough look, but there I am in a dress and heels! Reactions vary, some good, others not so much. After a while I used these reactions to gauge whether or not there was going to be a second date. I think the bad ones were based more on vehicle envy and for me that was a major turn off. I won't tell you what to drive, so extend me the same courtesy. On the other hand, if I show up in the mini-van, I can't escape the Mom stereotype!
After one first date I remember going out to the parking lot and the gentleman saying, "Wait, don't tell me which car is yours. Let me guess." I knew he'd never think to pick the truck, but decided to play along for fun. The parking lot was full and sure enough, he started with all the small cars. Eventually there was only my truck left. He turned to me with a look of complete and utter disgust, "Please tell me that truck isn't yours." OMG, was he kidding me? He went on to lecture me about how he doesn't waste money on big cars, he just buys old second hand vehicles and drives them until they die. Funny, he drove an old Cavalier which looked like a Hotwheels car next to my truck. He had the nerve to say the truck had to go. Really, or else what? I think not, I told him the truck was staying and he was gone.
Another guy had an issue with the fact that the truck had belonged to my late husband. He insisted I had to sell it as I didn't need to have 2 vehicles. I love it when others decide what I should or shouldn't have. In this case I think vehicle envy played a huge roll given that my truck was a 4x4 and had a lot more features than his. He also said he'd never drive a truck that belonged to another man. Who asked him to drive my truck??? This coming from a guy who often bought second hand cars. So did he only buy them from women??? Hello, are we in kindergarten? Once again, nope I ain't selling it.
One time I arrived early and waited in the parking lot for my date. Not long afterwards, another truck pulled in and parked next to me. It was identical to mine, only red. Hey it was my date! He was shocked that I drove a truck, but thoroughly impressed. I thought it was so cool that we had matching trucks, sadly the relationship didn't go anywhere. He disappeared after a few weeks.
The best reaction I had was a guy freaking out over the truck. We spent forever in the parking lot looking under the hood and checking out all the features. He even asked if he could take it for a spin so we went for a drive. I let him drive. It was like watching a kid in a candy store. He thought it was awesome that I had a truck. Yes, he got a second date! Lol
Apart from the comments above, here's a few more:
1. I'm going to trade your truck in for a boat or a down payment on a cottage.
- Really? I don't remember agreeing to that, especially after only one date! Not too presumptuous.
2. You're not being environmentally friendly owing 2 large vehicles.
- Interestingly enough he also had 2 vehicles one of which was a much older model mini-van which would have been far less environmentally friendly than mine. Let's also keep in mind that I have 4 kids so I kind of need more room than most.
3. It's way too big, a beautiful lady like you shouldn't be driving this.
- Says who? Since when do looks determine what kind of vehicle you should drive?
4. That's a man's vehicle, we could just trade and you can drive my car.
- Yeah right, I don't think so. Not to mention his little compact car was worth far less than my truck.
5. What a waste of money, you must pay a fortune for insurance.
- They almost faint when they discover insurance for both of my vehicles is far less than what they pay for one.
Funny when guys are anal about their vehicle. In some cases it's like you to have to put plastic on the seats and remove your shoes before you get in. Can you make a person feel any more unwelcomed or uncomfortable? Never mind, I'll just follow you in my car. Then the opposite extreme where there's garbage everywhere and it wreaks like an ashtray or a garbage dumpster. You couldn't pay me to get in! Even more amusing when they go on and on about all the luxury cars they have and show up in an old rusted out jolopy. Of course the good car is in for servicing or storage - in the middle of Summer? Sure! Wait a minute, didn't you say you have 3 luxury vehicles? What's wrong with the other 2? Oh yeah, those are the imaginary ones. I'm not 18, so a BMW or a Porsche won't impress me, In all honesty, they never did. Show up in a Yukon XL or a Suburban and you'll have my complete and undivided attention! Lol
As I've said before, no point in lying because eventually the truth will come out. I could care less what a guy drives, just make sure you keep it somewhat clean if you expect me to get into it. Live and let live. We all have our preferences and financial limits. In my case I have 4 kids and it's not uncommon for me to have a couple of their friends or my nephews tag along so I need a larger vehicle. I'm paying for it so no one should be dictating to me what I should or shouldn't drive.
Things to keep in mind.
Dateless in Ottawa
Fast forward to men and dating. It's amazing the impact a vehicle can have on the way a woman is perceived. My Scoupe was a cute little sports car, exactly what many would figure was perfect for a girly girl. I will admit most guys weren't crazy about being seen in it. Then I got a Jeep TJ and all the guys wanted a ride in it, especially in the Summer with the top off! Funny cause they'd all say that was a guy vehicle. Boy do I still miss my Jeep, but after becoming a Mom everyone said I needed a safer vehicle because it was a soft top. I shouldn't have listened to them, mind you after baby #3 arrived I would've had no choice as you can't put a baby seat in the front passenger seat. Oh well, I will get another one eventually.
After the kids arrived, a mini-van was the most convenient and cost effective mode of transportation. Definitely not a sexy vehicle by any stretch of the imagination, but it was practical with lots of room for baby gear and extra friends too! It still works well for growing teenagers, sports and a dance Mom. Can't beat it when it comes to comfort, especially on long road trips. Show up for a date in the mini-van and you have Mom written all over your face!
Personally I've always loved larger vehicles. Most of it probably stems from the fact that my parents only bought full-sized station wagons. The best part was the flip up third row seat that faced the back. Growing up we fought over the back row, but as we got older we didn't want to get caught dead driving them. Mind you, when you were going out with a bunch of friends there was tons of room. Heck you could have a party in those suckers! For me it's the safety factor. I feel way safer in a big vehicle plus with our winters, they are far better on the road. My Scoupe was so light it was all over the place in the winter. I'd have to load the back trunk with salt or sand bags to weight it down. After that I swore I'd never buy another small car.
The Tahoe and the Yukon XL are my favourites. I'd also take a Suburban, but the older styles. The newer ones are way smaller and too sleek looking. With a large family, size matters!
Enter dating:
I love men's reactions when I arrive for a first date in my truck. A Chevy Silverado is not what a guy expects a women to show up in. Kind of gives me a rugged kind of tough look, but there I am in a dress and heels! Reactions vary, some good, others not so much. After a while I used these reactions to gauge whether or not there was going to be a second date. I think the bad ones were based more on vehicle envy and for me that was a major turn off. I won't tell you what to drive, so extend me the same courtesy. On the other hand, if I show up in the mini-van, I can't escape the Mom stereotype!
After one first date I remember going out to the parking lot and the gentleman saying, "Wait, don't tell me which car is yours. Let me guess." I knew he'd never think to pick the truck, but decided to play along for fun. The parking lot was full and sure enough, he started with all the small cars. Eventually there was only my truck left. He turned to me with a look of complete and utter disgust, "Please tell me that truck isn't yours." OMG, was he kidding me? He went on to lecture me about how he doesn't waste money on big cars, he just buys old second hand vehicles and drives them until they die. Funny, he drove an old Cavalier which looked like a Hotwheels car next to my truck. He had the nerve to say the truck had to go. Really, or else what? I think not, I told him the truck was staying and he was gone.
Another guy had an issue with the fact that the truck had belonged to my late husband. He insisted I had to sell it as I didn't need to have 2 vehicles. I love it when others decide what I should or shouldn't have. In this case I think vehicle envy played a huge roll given that my truck was a 4x4 and had a lot more features than his. He also said he'd never drive a truck that belonged to another man. Who asked him to drive my truck??? This coming from a guy who often bought second hand cars. So did he only buy them from women??? Hello, are we in kindergarten? Once again, nope I ain't selling it.
One time I arrived early and waited in the parking lot for my date. Not long afterwards, another truck pulled in and parked next to me. It was identical to mine, only red. Hey it was my date! He was shocked that I drove a truck, but thoroughly impressed. I thought it was so cool that we had matching trucks, sadly the relationship didn't go anywhere. He disappeared after a few weeks.
The best reaction I had was a guy freaking out over the truck. We spent forever in the parking lot looking under the hood and checking out all the features. He even asked if he could take it for a spin so we went for a drive. I let him drive. It was like watching a kid in a candy store. He thought it was awesome that I had a truck. Yes, he got a second date! Lol
Apart from the comments above, here's a few more:
1. I'm going to trade your truck in for a boat or a down payment on a cottage.
- Really? I don't remember agreeing to that, especially after only one date! Not too presumptuous.
2. You're not being environmentally friendly owing 2 large vehicles.
- Interestingly enough he also had 2 vehicles one of which was a much older model mini-van which would have been far less environmentally friendly than mine. Let's also keep in mind that I have 4 kids so I kind of need more room than most.
3. It's way too big, a beautiful lady like you shouldn't be driving this.
- Says who? Since when do looks determine what kind of vehicle you should drive?
4. That's a man's vehicle, we could just trade and you can drive my car.
- Yeah right, I don't think so. Not to mention his little compact car was worth far less than my truck.
5. What a waste of money, you must pay a fortune for insurance.
- They almost faint when they discover insurance for both of my vehicles is far less than what they pay for one.
Funny when guys are anal about their vehicle. In some cases it's like you to have to put plastic on the seats and remove your shoes before you get in. Can you make a person feel any more unwelcomed or uncomfortable? Never mind, I'll just follow you in my car. Then the opposite extreme where there's garbage everywhere and it wreaks like an ashtray or a garbage dumpster. You couldn't pay me to get in! Even more amusing when they go on and on about all the luxury cars they have and show up in an old rusted out jolopy. Of course the good car is in for servicing or storage - in the middle of Summer? Sure! Wait a minute, didn't you say you have 3 luxury vehicles? What's wrong with the other 2? Oh yeah, those are the imaginary ones. I'm not 18, so a BMW or a Porsche won't impress me, In all honesty, they never did. Show up in a Yukon XL or a Suburban and you'll have my complete and undivided attention! Lol
As I've said before, no point in lying because eventually the truth will come out. I could care less what a guy drives, just make sure you keep it somewhat clean if you expect me to get into it. Live and let live. We all have our preferences and financial limits. In my case I have 4 kids and it's not uncommon for me to have a couple of their friends or my nephews tag along so I need a larger vehicle. I'm paying for it so no one should be dictating to me what I should or shouldn't drive.
Things to keep in mind.
Dateless in Ottawa
Sunday, 30 April 2017
Why? - Updated
Couldn't come up with a more descriptive title for this post, so decided to keep it simple. Ever meet someone and ask yourself why? You sit there looking at them dazed and confused. It could be for any number of reasons. Your mind goes racing with questions and you wonder whether this is truly happening.
Here are some things that leave me wondering why?
1. Hair trends
So, what's up with the man buns? I totally don't get them. They kind of remind me of the knot on a black garbage bag. For as long as I can remember, these are worn by ballerinas or a fancy way for a woman to put her hair up for a special event. A man bun is also appropriate if you're a summon wrestler or samurai which chances are most men are not. It's becoming increasingly popular and I can't for the life of me understand why a guy would think this makes him look attractive. Some even wear barrettes or head bands. If nothing else, to me it's more of a feminine look so if that's what they're after I guess it works! Sad when from behind you can't tell whether it's a man or a woman. Do they realize how they look?
The same can be said about older men growing their hair. Your hairline is receding, not to mention you're balding and you think this makes you look ______??? Cool, attractive and sexy are not anywhere near the top of the list of words that come to my mind. In general, most men can't pull off long hair. I think I can probably count on one hand how many guys I've met or seen that looked amazing with long hair, in fact some of them did a better job pulling it off than a woman would! Yes, you read that correctly. Not all women can pull off long hair either. But if you're going to grow it, shouldn't you do that in your teens when you have a full head of hair? To make it worse, they go and put it in a pony tail. Let's just further highlight the fact that you don't have much hair left. Sorry to point out the obvious, but this isn't a pony tail, it's a scrawny rat tail. Can't figure out why you would think this is attractive. I can totally understand how losing your hair would make you feel self conscious so you try to hold on to whatever strands you have left, but growing it only draws even more attention to what you're trying to hide in the first place! Men have a huge advantage over women in that they can shave their head and look totally sexy. You see a woman with a bald head and most will assume she's undergoing chemo therapy for cancer. Look at Vin Diesel, the Rock and Jason Statham to name a few. Yes, I love the Fast and the Furious, can you tell? I can't even picture these actors with hair! Actually, I've seen pictures of Vin with a full head of hair and he looks way better bald. Then there's Sean Connery, can a man look any sexier at 86? Think of it as the look of prosperity. Embrace it instead of fighting the inevitable and making yourself look worse.
If you play sports, short hair or a shaved head is way cleaner and easier to maintain. Remember, hygiene is very, very important and this includes your hair! Long hair is more work. I find it doesn't take long for it to look dirty and greasy, especially if you're constantly running your hands through it or use a lot of product. Add sweat and all I can say is gross, I'm not touching it. A head of greasy, dirty looking locks is not sexy. Wet and clean just out of the shower is a different story.
Comb overs. My Dad finally gave in and shaved his hair really short. It took years of convincing!That comb over was atrocious! OMG, it was horrible. We found it so embarrassing, people would do a double take when he walked by. Put him outside on a windy day and the comb over part would be hovering over his head flapping away as he fought to hold it down. A video clip of that would have been a contender for the top prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos." I find he looks younger, what a difference. Now he agrees and makes sure the minute it starts to grow, he gets it trimmed. Before he looked unkept and messy, not to mention way older that his age. His hair always looked dirty and greasy because of all the product he used to keep it all together and plastered to his head to cover the bald spot. I'll further add he's saving a fortune on hair products!
Are these trends a result of a mid-life crisis? For the young guys, I have no clue why you would do any of the above. Far worse when everyone is telling you how bad it looks and you insist on doing it anyways. It's no different than a woman dying her hair fushia? Really, why?
2. Clothes that don't fit properly or are dirty
If you just got off work, it makes sense. Maybe you headed straight to the bar for happy hour or to grab a drink to blow off some steam after a long day. Chances are the whole gang went there after work and you're all in your work clothes. If you happen to run into people you know, oh well it wasn't planned.
Ask a lady out for dinner to a nice restaurant and no, showing up in your dirty work clothes is not appropriate. If you had to work later than expected, change the time of the reservation or reschedule for another day. I always keep a change of clothes at work, guys could do the same especially if you know you have plans and might not be able to go home first. Showing up in dirty clothes is so not cool. This has happened to me a few times. Showing up in dirty jeans, steel toed boots and a t-shirt with stains all over it is a major turn off. Every now and then a woman likes the rugged look with the 5 o'clock shadow, but I don't think anyone appreciates dirty sweaty work clothes.
If your clothes don't fit, buy new ones. Nothing worse than clothing malfunctions. If you're pants are too big, wear a belt as I'm sure most won't appreciate your pants falling off in public. And just in case your pants might fall down, make sure you're wearing underwear that isn't full of holes or dirty! Not that anyone should have to tell you that. Growing up I remember just before going out, my Mother would always say, "Make sure you're wearing clean underwear in case you get into an accident!" Really? Thanks Mom, noted. Having to listen to you go on and on about how you're clothes don't fit all night isn't entertaining either. If your clothes don't fit, time to go shopping.
What about clothes that are very obviously worn out or damaged? Your wallet has made a hole in your back pocket, the belt has worn out the fabric on the front of your pants, there's a hole in the crotch, your zipper is broken and doesn't work (and no it didn't just break), buttons are missing from your shirt......How do you not notice? Did you not look in the mirror before you went out? You washed the pants so should see the holes or worn out parts. I don't know, maybe I'm too picky. Same as when a woman gets a run in her nylons. Take them off and pitch them, it looks terrible.
For women you don't need your breasts falling out of your top or dress. Some men might really like this, but I'm sure they don't want everyone else seeing it too. Save it for a private moment. Be careful with bathing suits too, especially a two-piece. I strongly suggest you do not wear a loose fitting two-piece to a water park as you're taking a huge risk. Gentlemen, please refrain from wearing speedos no matter how good you think you look in it. If they're a light colour which becomes transparent when wet, even worse. Spare others, especially children, the x-rated view.
Shoes also belong in this category. If they are all dirty, your toes are hanging out (and they aren't sandals) or they are full of holes, time for a new pair! I don't care how comfortable they are, save them for puttering around the home. You're dressed up and your shoes are all dirty and falling apart? My husband had a horrible habit of wearing his steel toed boots with everything. If he could have he would have worn them to bed too! He'd say they were the most comfortable pair of shoes he owned. Whatever, not when you are dressed up in a suit and definitely not when you're going out with me!
The little things make such a huge impact. Taking the time to look good for another says so much. It's not about being vane, just taking pride in your appearance. It shows that you care and are trying to make a good impression. Especially when meeting someone for the first time or in the early stages of a relationship. That said you should always take pride in your appearance, but you only get one shot at a good first impression. It's also about being adaptable. You're not always going to be dressed up, but when going out to an upper scale restaurant, gala or wedding, there is a certain etiquette attached.
Just my two cents and more!
Dateless in Ottawa
Here are some things that leave me wondering why?
1. Hair trends
So, what's up with the man buns? I totally don't get them. They kind of remind me of the knot on a black garbage bag. For as long as I can remember, these are worn by ballerinas or a fancy way for a woman to put her hair up for a special event. A man bun is also appropriate if you're a summon wrestler or samurai which chances are most men are not. It's becoming increasingly popular and I can't for the life of me understand why a guy would think this makes him look attractive. Some even wear barrettes or head bands. If nothing else, to me it's more of a feminine look so if that's what they're after I guess it works! Sad when from behind you can't tell whether it's a man or a woman. Do they realize how they look?
The same can be said about older men growing their hair. Your hairline is receding, not to mention you're balding and you think this makes you look ______??? Cool, attractive and sexy are not anywhere near the top of the list of words that come to my mind. In general, most men can't pull off long hair. I think I can probably count on one hand how many guys I've met or seen that looked amazing with long hair, in fact some of them did a better job pulling it off than a woman would! Yes, you read that correctly. Not all women can pull off long hair either. But if you're going to grow it, shouldn't you do that in your teens when you have a full head of hair? To make it worse, they go and put it in a pony tail. Let's just further highlight the fact that you don't have much hair left. Sorry to point out the obvious, but this isn't a pony tail, it's a scrawny rat tail. Can't figure out why you would think this is attractive. I can totally understand how losing your hair would make you feel self conscious so you try to hold on to whatever strands you have left, but growing it only draws even more attention to what you're trying to hide in the first place! Men have a huge advantage over women in that they can shave their head and look totally sexy. You see a woman with a bald head and most will assume she's undergoing chemo therapy for cancer. Look at Vin Diesel, the Rock and Jason Statham to name a few. Yes, I love the Fast and the Furious, can you tell? I can't even picture these actors with hair! Actually, I've seen pictures of Vin with a full head of hair and he looks way better bald. Then there's Sean Connery, can a man look any sexier at 86? Think of it as the look of prosperity. Embrace it instead of fighting the inevitable and making yourself look worse.
If you play sports, short hair or a shaved head is way cleaner and easier to maintain. Remember, hygiene is very, very important and this includes your hair! Long hair is more work. I find it doesn't take long for it to look dirty and greasy, especially if you're constantly running your hands through it or use a lot of product. Add sweat and all I can say is gross, I'm not touching it. A head of greasy, dirty looking locks is not sexy. Wet and clean just out of the shower is a different story.
Comb overs. My Dad finally gave in and shaved his hair really short. It took years of convincing!That comb over was atrocious! OMG, it was horrible. We found it so embarrassing, people would do a double take when he walked by. Put him outside on a windy day and the comb over part would be hovering over his head flapping away as he fought to hold it down. A video clip of that would have been a contender for the top prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos." I find he looks younger, what a difference. Now he agrees and makes sure the minute it starts to grow, he gets it trimmed. Before he looked unkept and messy, not to mention way older that his age. His hair always looked dirty and greasy because of all the product he used to keep it all together and plastered to his head to cover the bald spot. I'll further add he's saving a fortune on hair products!
Are these trends a result of a mid-life crisis? For the young guys, I have no clue why you would do any of the above. Far worse when everyone is telling you how bad it looks and you insist on doing it anyways. It's no different than a woman dying her hair fushia? Really, why?
2. Clothes that don't fit properly or are dirty
If you just got off work, it makes sense. Maybe you headed straight to the bar for happy hour or to grab a drink to blow off some steam after a long day. Chances are the whole gang went there after work and you're all in your work clothes. If you happen to run into people you know, oh well it wasn't planned.
Ask a lady out for dinner to a nice restaurant and no, showing up in your dirty work clothes is not appropriate. If you had to work later than expected, change the time of the reservation or reschedule for another day. I always keep a change of clothes at work, guys could do the same especially if you know you have plans and might not be able to go home first. Showing up in dirty clothes is so not cool. This has happened to me a few times. Showing up in dirty jeans, steel toed boots and a t-shirt with stains all over it is a major turn off. Every now and then a woman likes the rugged look with the 5 o'clock shadow, but I don't think anyone appreciates dirty sweaty work clothes.
If your clothes don't fit, buy new ones. Nothing worse than clothing malfunctions. If you're pants are too big, wear a belt as I'm sure most won't appreciate your pants falling off in public. And just in case your pants might fall down, make sure you're wearing underwear that isn't full of holes or dirty! Not that anyone should have to tell you that. Growing up I remember just before going out, my Mother would always say, "Make sure you're wearing clean underwear in case you get into an accident!" Really? Thanks Mom, noted. Having to listen to you go on and on about how you're clothes don't fit all night isn't entertaining either. If your clothes don't fit, time to go shopping.
What about clothes that are very obviously worn out or damaged? Your wallet has made a hole in your back pocket, the belt has worn out the fabric on the front of your pants, there's a hole in the crotch, your zipper is broken and doesn't work (and no it didn't just break), buttons are missing from your shirt......How do you not notice? Did you not look in the mirror before you went out? You washed the pants so should see the holes or worn out parts. I don't know, maybe I'm too picky. Same as when a woman gets a run in her nylons. Take them off and pitch them, it looks terrible.
For women you don't need your breasts falling out of your top or dress. Some men might really like this, but I'm sure they don't want everyone else seeing it too. Save it for a private moment. Be careful with bathing suits too, especially a two-piece. I strongly suggest you do not wear a loose fitting two-piece to a water park as you're taking a huge risk. Gentlemen, please refrain from wearing speedos no matter how good you think you look in it. If they're a light colour which becomes transparent when wet, even worse. Spare others, especially children, the x-rated view.
Shoes also belong in this category. If they are all dirty, your toes are hanging out (and they aren't sandals) or they are full of holes, time for a new pair! I don't care how comfortable they are, save them for puttering around the home. You're dressed up and your shoes are all dirty and falling apart? My husband had a horrible habit of wearing his steel toed boots with everything. If he could have he would have worn them to bed too! He'd say they were the most comfortable pair of shoes he owned. Whatever, not when you are dressed up in a suit and definitely not when you're going out with me!
The little things make such a huge impact. Taking the time to look good for another says so much. It's not about being vane, just taking pride in your appearance. It shows that you care and are trying to make a good impression. Especially when meeting someone for the first time or in the early stages of a relationship. That said you should always take pride in your appearance, but you only get one shot at a good first impression. It's also about being adaptable. You're not always going to be dressed up, but when going out to an upper scale restaurant, gala or wedding, there is a certain etiquette attached.
Just my two cents and more!
Dateless in Ottawa
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