Since I'm currently not dating, I thought it would be fun to include some stories from my adventures with speed dating.
Typically, I'm shy and keep to myself. I'm not overly outgoing, at least not in dating situations. Personally I like to be the observer and help my friends find their significant others. At work I'm completely different, it's all about networking because there's no pressure. Growing up I was always the wall flower. I had more guy than girl friends, but when it came to dating I found it awkward and wasn't interested. Online dating is a bit easier because it starts with emailing, you slowly move to talking on the phone and then if you feel comfortable, you eventually meet. With speed dating one minute you're sitting alone, the next there's a stranger sitting across from you. Kinda hard to hide! Lol
My girlfriend had tried speed dating previously and said it was fun. She's a social butterfly. After watching the movie "Hitched" I thought why not? I had heard about it, but didn't really pay much attention. She said it would compliment the online dating and provide more options. At the same time it would force me to get out more. Eventually she convinced me to go with her. No matter what we do, we always have fun so I had nothing to lose. Plus, strength in numbers helps! Lol
She signed us up for an event. I didn't know there were people who organize these events and go to great lengths to ensure the participants have common interests. This particular group was well known and held speed dating events at trendy venues based on age, profession and personal interests. I was impressed and thought, "Wow, this might turn out to be better than online dating." You had to create a profile and write a bit about yourself; what you do for a living, personal interests, qualities you are seeking in a mate, etc. It seemed well organized and I liked their choice of venue, The William Street Café. We often went there for coffee on the weekends, sadly it no longer exists.
A few days before the event, the organizers emailed us information explaining how it worked along with a list of suggested questions you could ask your dates. These were simply to give you some ideas, but you were welcome to come up with your own questions. You would have 7 dates lasting 7 minutes each. They did their best to ensure there was always an equal number of men and women.
Ok, I must disgress for a moment. Here I am typing this post while watching "Love Connection". I was flipping through the channels and came across it. I think it's new, a remake from the 80's version. So get this, after only one date the guy proposes to the girl and she accepts? Is this for real? My goodness I guess love at first site does exist. Ok, back to my post.
So another friend came over to babysit and I showed her the list of questions:
What do you do for a living?
Do you have any hobbies?
How old are you?
blah, blah, blah....the usual standard questions. These were too boring for me. I had to come up with my own questions. I need a guy that can think on his feet, laugh and at the same time challenge me. I was very pleased with my questions and excited to try them out. Off I went.
The Café was closed to the general public for the event. We each got a drink, perfect to take the edge off if you're nervous and they served some appetizers. The women were seated at the tables, the men would rotate when the bell rang. I went to my table and waited for the event to start.
Date #1 - Mr. Lava Life
The first gentleman sits down and I immediately recognize him. He had been emailing me on LavaLife and I wasn't interested. I had told him I was already seeing someone.
Him: "I thought you said you were seeing someone."
Me: "I was, but it didn't work out."
Him: "Sure."
Me: "I guess you haven't met anyone. Have you done speed dating before?"
Him: "No, first time."
...the conversation went down hill from there. Thank goodness the bell rang.
Date #2 - Mr. Tantrum
Fresh blood and I could ask my questions, I was excited. He didn't look my type. Way too skinny for my taste, but I'd keep an open mind.
Me: "If you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
The colour drained from his face and he became visibly upset. I was caught off guard.
Him: "That's not one of the questions. You have to use the questions they gave us."
He stood up and had a tantrum. He was yelling, "She asked me a question that wasn't on the list, she can't do that".
The organizer ran over while everyone just stopped talking. All eyes were on us. This was not good.
Organizer: "What's the problem sir?"
Him: "She asked me a question that's not on the list, she can't do that!"
Organizer: "Sir those were suggested questions, you can ask whatever you want."
Him: "No, that wasn't one of the questions on the list."
Organizer: "That's ok, you can make up your own questions or use the ones we sent you."
Him: "But she didn't ask me a question from the list."
...She got no where with him. Thankfully the bell rang. NEXT!!!! This guy was so not for me. I could see my girlfriend laughing her head off in the back corner. Glad someone was amused.
Date #3 - Mr. Humour
Now I was at a total loss. Do I use my questions or not? Oh, to hell with it. I march to the beat of my own drum. If these guys don't like my questions, then they're not for me!
Him: "Hi, I'm -------, nice to meet you. I'll let you ask the first question."
Me: "Ok, if you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
There was a moment of silence, I braced myself.
Him: "Grapes because they're sweet! You are hilarious, I didn't expect that. Can I ask you what happened with the first guy?"
Me: "Yeah, he didn't like my question. He said I could only ask questions on the list."
Him: "Are you serious? OMG, that's too funny."
We chatted, mostly about Date #1. He was nice, but not my type.
Date #4 - Mr. Miserable
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again! This guy looked way too serious from the moment he sat down. He also looked way older than he should have been for this event, but whatever.
Him: "Hello."
Me: "Hi, nice to meet you."
Him: "Ladies first."
Me: "If you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
If looks could kill, I'd be dead. He was so not impressed.
Him: "That's your question?"
Me: "Yes, I like to be different. Life is too serious, I like to laugh."
We didn't have much to talk about. This was not going well at all. I looked over at my girlfriend and she was having a blast. It was obvious she was talking about me. Next!
Date #5 - Mr. Former Boss
OMG, I almost died. This was not happening. As he was walking towards me I couldn't believe my eyes. He was one of my former bosses. One I hadn't really gotten along with.
Him: "Hi there, how are you?"
Me: "Good, how are you?"
Him: "Good thanks. Actually, I saw your profile on LavaLife. I've been meaning to write. I've been watching you."
Me: "Really? I didn't notice."
Him: "I don't have a profile picture up. I like to be discreet. How long have you been single? How are the kids?"
He knew exactly how long I'd been single as he knew my ex.
Me: "It's been over a year and the kids are good thanks. How are yours?"
Him: "The kids are good. Life goes on. You really upset the first guy, what happened?"
Me: "He didn't like my questions."
Him: "Wow, that was quite the scene."
Me: "Yup, I guess I have that effect on people."
Him: "What did you ask him?"
Me: "If you were a fruit, which one would you be and why?"
Him: "OMG, that is hilarious."
...and the bell rang, next!!!!!
The rest of the night was a blur. I let the last 2 guys ask all the questions. I just wanted to leave. Mr. Former Boss stared at me the rest of the night. At the end you meet with the organizers to rate your dates and let them know which ones you'd like them to share your contact information with.
Organizer: "How did you enjoy the event."
Me: "It was ok, definitely interesting. I'm really sorry about the scene with the first guy."
Organizer: "No worries, it happens. So, who would you like to see again? I have 2 guys that want to see you again. One of them is actually waiting for you outside."
Me: "No, I didn't find a match. There's no one I'd like to see again."
Organizer: "Really? Oh come on, let me share your info. The one guys is really interested and insisted."
Me: "My former boss? I don't think so. I know exactly who you mean and I still indirectly report to him so there's no way. Can you please ask him to leave?"
Organizer: "Oh my, that's awkward. Ok, why don't you think about it and you can call me tomorrow if you change your mind."
Me: "Sure, thank you."
What a night! My girlfriend and I went for a drink afterwards, I needed one badly. OMG, that was too much. She laughed so hard I thought she was going to pee herself. Looking back I can laugh now, but that totally scarred me. When I got home and told my other girlfriend what happened, she roared with laughter. "These things only happen to you, damn I wish I could've been a fly on the wall to watch it live." Oh well, I tried. Speed dating is definitely an interesting way to meet people, but you just never know how they will react. I say pick your own questions to make it more exciting and brace yourself!
Good luck!
Dateless in Ottawa
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