Couldn't come up with a more descriptive title for this post, so decided to keep it simple. Ever meet someone and ask yourself why? You sit there looking at them dazed and confused. It could be for any number of reasons. Your mind goes racing with questions and you wonder whether this is truly happening.
Here are some things that leave me wondering why?
1. Hair trends
So, what's up with the man buns? I totally don't get them. They kind of remind me of the knot on a black garbage bag. For as long as I can remember, these are worn by ballerinas or a fancy way for a woman to put her hair up for a special event. A man bun is also appropriate if you're a summon wrestler or samurai which chances are most men are not. It's becoming increasingly popular and I can't for the life of me understand why a guy would think this makes him look attractive. Some even wear barrettes or head bands. If nothing else, to me it's more of a feminine look so if that's what they're after I guess it works! Sad when from behind you can't tell whether it's a man or a woman. Do they realize how they look?
The same can be said about older men growing their hair. Your hairline is receding, not to mention you're balding and you think this makes you look ______??? Cool, attractive and sexy are not anywhere near the top of the list of words that come to my mind. In general, most men can't pull off long hair. I think I can probably count on one hand how many guys I've met or seen that looked amazing with long hair, in fact some of them did a better job pulling it off than a woman would! Yes, you read that correctly. Not all women can pull off long hair either. But if you're going to grow it, shouldn't you do that in your teens when you have a full head of hair? To make it worse, they go and put it in a pony tail. Let's just further highlight the fact that you don't have much hair left. Sorry to point out the obvious, but this isn't a pony tail, it's a scrawny rat tail. Can't figure out why you would think this is attractive. I can totally understand how losing your hair would make you feel self conscious so you try to hold on to whatever strands you have left, but growing it only draws even more attention to what you're trying to hide in the first place! Men have a huge advantage over women in that they can shave their head and look totally sexy. You see a woman with a bald head and most will assume she's undergoing chemo therapy for cancer. Look at Vin Diesel, the Rock and Jason Statham to name a few. Yes, I love the Fast and the Furious, can you tell? I can't even picture these actors with hair! Actually, I've seen pictures of Vin with a full head of hair and he looks way better bald. Then there's Sean Connery, can a man look any sexier at 86? Think of it as the look of prosperity. Embrace it instead of fighting the inevitable and making yourself look worse.
If you play sports, short hair or a shaved head is way cleaner and easier to maintain. Remember, hygiene is very, very important and this includes your hair! Long hair is more work. I find it doesn't take long for it to look dirty and greasy, especially if you're constantly running your hands through it or use a lot of product. Add sweat and all I can say is gross, I'm not touching it. A head of greasy, dirty looking locks is not sexy. Wet and clean just out of the shower is a different story.
Comb overs. My Dad finally gave in and shaved his hair really short. It took years of convincing!That comb over was atrocious! OMG, it was horrible. We found it so embarrassing, people would do a double take when he walked by. Put him outside on a windy day and the comb over part would be hovering over his head flapping away as he fought to hold it down. A video clip of that would have been a contender for the top prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos." I find he looks younger, what a difference. Now he agrees and makes sure the minute it starts to grow, he gets it trimmed. Before he looked unkept and messy, not to mention way older that his age. His hair always looked dirty and greasy because of all the product he used to keep it all together and plastered to his head to cover the bald spot. I'll further add he's saving a fortune on hair products!
Are these trends a result of a mid-life crisis? For the young guys, I have no clue why you would do any of the above. Far worse when everyone is telling you how bad it looks and you insist on doing it anyways. It's no different than a woman dying her hair fushia? Really, why?
2. Clothes that don't fit properly or are dirty
If you just got off work, it makes sense. Maybe you headed straight to the bar for happy hour or to grab a drink to blow off some steam after a long day. Chances are the whole gang went there after work and you're all in your work clothes. If you happen to run into people you know, oh well it wasn't planned.
Ask a lady out for dinner to a nice restaurant and no, showing up in your dirty work clothes is not appropriate. If you had to work later than expected, change the time of the reservation or reschedule for another day. I always keep a change of clothes at work, guys could do the same especially if you know you have plans and might not be able to go home first. Showing up in dirty clothes is so not cool. This has happened to me a few times. Showing up in dirty jeans, steel toed boots and a t-shirt with stains all over it is a major turn off. Every now and then a woman likes the rugged look with the 5 o'clock shadow, but I don't think anyone appreciates dirty sweaty work clothes.
If your clothes don't fit, buy new ones. Nothing worse than clothing malfunctions. If you're pants are too big, wear a belt as I'm sure most won't appreciate your pants falling off in public. And just in case your pants might fall down, make sure you're wearing underwear that isn't full of holes or dirty! Not that anyone should have to tell you that. Growing up I remember just before going out, my Mother would always say, "Make sure you're wearing clean underwear in case you get into an accident!" Really? Thanks Mom, noted. Having to listen to you go on and on about how you're clothes don't fit all night isn't entertaining either. If your clothes don't fit, time to go shopping.
What about clothes that are very obviously worn out or damaged? Your wallet has made a hole in your back pocket, the belt has worn out the fabric on the front of your pants, there's a hole in the crotch, your zipper is broken and doesn't work (and no it didn't just break), buttons are missing from your shirt......How do you not notice? Did you not look in the mirror before you went out? You washed the pants so should see the holes or worn out parts. I don't know, maybe I'm too picky. Same as when a woman gets a run in her nylons. Take them off and pitch them, it looks terrible.
For women you don't need your breasts falling out of your top or dress. Some men might really like this, but I'm sure they don't want everyone else seeing it too. Save it for a private moment. Be careful with bathing suits too, especially a two-piece. I strongly suggest you do not wear a loose fitting two-piece to a water park as you're taking a huge risk. Gentlemen, please refrain from wearing speedos no matter how good you think you look in it. If they're a light colour which becomes transparent when wet, even worse. Spare others, especially children, the x-rated view.
Shoes also belong in this category. If they are all dirty, your toes are hanging out (and they aren't sandals) or they are full of holes, time for a new pair! I don't care how comfortable they are, save them for puttering around the home. You're dressed up and your shoes are all dirty and falling apart? My husband had a horrible habit of wearing his steel toed boots with everything. If he could have he would have worn them to bed too! He'd say they were the most comfortable pair of shoes he owned. Whatever, not when you are dressed up in a suit and definitely not when you're going out with me!
The little things make such a huge impact. Taking the time to look good for another says so much. It's not about being vane, just taking pride in your appearance. It shows that you care and are trying to make a good impression. Especially when meeting someone for the first time or in the early stages of a relationship. That said you should always take pride in your appearance, but you only get one shot at a good first impression. It's also about being adaptable. You're not always going to be dressed up, but when going out to an upper scale restaurant, gala or wedding, there is a certain etiquette attached.
Just my two cents and more!
Dateless in Ottawa
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