Sadly as I look over my notes and numerous posts, I'm astonished at how many men I interacted with and/or met. We won't even mention the numerous others I didn't write about. Here I was still very single and alone. Some quick stats to further depress me:
Number of men I interacted with = 103
Number of men I actually met = 56 (never imagined I'd meet this many)
Number of men that were married (these were confirmed, but there's probably a lot more) = 17
Number of men I met that didn't look anything like their profile picture = 24
Number of men that lied about their height = 17
Number of men that lied about being employed or their job = 14
Using only the number of men I actually met, this translates into the following stats.
Percentage of men that were actually married when they claimed to be single/divorced = 30%
Percentage of men that were dishonest about their height = 30%
Percentage of men that were dishonest about their appearance = 43%
Percentage of men that were dishonest about being employed or their profession = 25%
These numbers are very disappointing. Talk about adding insult to injury! I truly don't understand why men have to be so dishonest. Sooner or late the truth always comes out. What a waste of time and energy.
Top 3 Harsh Realities of Online Dating:
1. Many of the men using online dating are dishonest.
2. If it looks or sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
3. Your ego will take a shit kicking.
So, what did online dating teach me?
1. Never judge a book by its cover.
2. In general, most people are dishonest.
3. Keep your expectations low.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. Be kind.
6. Don't make assumptions.
7. No matter what, be true to yourself and don't settle.
8. Trust no one.
9. You need to grow a thick skin.
10. Online dating is not for the faint of heart!
So much for those articles that claimed someone would have to meet at least 100 potential suitors before finding "the one." I think they need to conduct a new study and update these statistics. Mind you, they would probably argue that I only met 56 of these guys in person so I still have another 44 to go. How daunting! Given my track record, that doesn't leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling. I was already suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. Any further subjection to this cruel and unusual punishment could lead to a requirement for long-term professional help!
No way I was in any condition to continue with online dating. I had to find other options. Unfortunately most of my girlfriends don't have single and available brothers, cousins, friends, colleagues, etc. At this age most of them are married, not suitable for various reasons or simply aren't interested in settling down because they're having way too much fun. Talking with friends we laughed at the fact that amoung other factors we further have take into consideration the number of men over 55 and the number of gay men which greatly reduce the number of available single men. The odds appeared to be stacked against me. Maybe moving to Fort McMurray would be a more viable option??? According to research, it's supposed to have the highest ratio of single men to single women in Canada. Who knows! Regardless, I came to the realization that I needed a break from online dating.
Where do forty-something year old single parents hang out? I'd have to start all over again. There has to be something other than online dating. I needed time to gather my thoughts and figure out what the next step would be.
Thanks for reading. For those of you still using online dating, good luck. Remember - be honest, it goes a long way.
Dateless in Ottawa
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