After reading many of my posts, it's hard not to come to the conclusion that there are many married men with online dating profiles. I met over 11 of these guys. Kudos to those that were up front and honest. After all there are women out there that are ok with dating a married man, but let her decide. Sadly the vast majority lie claiming to be single, separated, widowed or divorced.
This is by far my biggest complaint about online dating. My single male friends looking for love say many women online are also married and playing the field. I'll focus on my personal experiences and a few stories from my close girlfriends who continue to get duped by married men.
When using online dating, my goal is to find someone who is single, available and looking to build a future with. Single includes divorced or widowed, but the key is being available mentally and physically. Separated for me is still somewhat attached. Until everything is finalized and you have that divorce decree, you never know. Sadly many of these men claim to be looking for the same thing, but instead string you along with lie after lie. Not sure how they manage to juggle so many lies, especially when they are juggling several women at once! Eventually the truth comes out and our world comes crashing down around us. How do you not fall for someone you have chemistry with and see and talk to regularly? Why do they do this?
I get it to a point. We're in a long term relationship and things change. Two people can grow apart for many reasons; future goals change, children arrive, etc. Our priorities shift to adapt to life as it unfolds. I've seen couples drift apart when suddenly the woman gets promoted and makes more money than her husband, kids come too soon, there's a major illness....it could be anything. What we thought we wanted in our twenties changes with life experiences and the world around us. I had friends in high school that thought all they wanted to do was to become a wife and mother. No need for college or university, just get married, live in the house with the white picket fence, raise a family and live happily ever after. They thought they'd be perfectly content being a house wife for the rest of their lives. This school of thought largely attributable to our parents. Growing up our moms stayed at home and didn't work. Fast forward a few years and a couple of kids later, they feel bored and like they aren't contributing. They are dependent and feel stuck. The kids grow up and need you less and less and the woman is left at home feeling unfulfilled and out of touch with the world. For so long all that mattered was keeping the house in order, the kids, play dates, laundry, cooking, making sure the hubby is taken care of and running errands. When she looks around and sees what her other girl friends are doing with their careers, she feels a bit left out with no skills, education or training making it difficult to re-enter the workforce.
Children do take up a huge part of our time leaving little energy for our significant other. It's not easy. Having breast fed as long as 12 months, I totally understand how it becomes a challenge to regain that playfulness and intimacy we had in our earlier years together. Pregnancy can also throw us some curve balls making sex painful, impossible due to complications or simply uncomfortable which leaves our mate feeling deprived and unwanted. Trust me, after three high risk pregnancies I felt the same, not to mention looking like a beached whale does not make a woman feel the least bit attractive or sexy.
Why is it that society is far more forgiving when a man gains weight over the years? A woman puts on 20 pounds after having 3 kids and she's "let herself go" and "doesn't make the effort to look good". A man gains 20 pounds and it's the look of prosperity. I fail to understand how a woman even manages to gain weight when we're breastfeeding constantly when the kids are born, not sleeping or eating, then running after the kids non-stop as they grow. You'd think as the kids get older it should get easier, but instead now you have out of town sporting competitions, extra practices, sleep overs, school trips and fundraising events to name a few, in addition to your full-time job and responsibilities at home. Most days I'm lucky to get breakfast into me and unless there's a birthday or retirement party at work, no lunch either! Yes there are exceptions where a man does more around the house, but this is rare at least from my experience.
So back to the original topic. Why cheat? The way I see it, if you're not happy be honest and bow out gracefully. No matter what, someone is going to get hurt so why make it worse than it has to be? Why disgrace your family and cause irreparable damage? Be respectful, demonstrate integrity and avoid causing unnecessary pain especially when there are children involved. Are you trying to boost your ego? Do you need to add more knotches to your bed post? Are you having a mid-life crisis? Money seems to be a big driver. You don't want to divorce because you don't want to have to pay support or give up half of your assets, not to mention being on the hook for legal fees. Well, you may get away with cheating for a while, but sooner or later Karma is going to bite you in the ass and it will cost you far more. Remember, hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.
For me the worse part is being labelled a home wrecker or husband stealer. Really??? Here's this lying cheat that claims to be available, whether that means single, divorced, widowed or separated, you give him the benefit of the doubt and then you're the one blamed when the wife finds out he's cheating. Talk about being blindsided when a wife calls you out of the blue or shows up on your doorstep making threats. That's not what I signed up for. If I ever go back to online dating, I'll be printing off the profile and after meeting do some research. Amazing the information you can find on a person when you do a Google search of their name! Try GEDS and Facebook too. Should a wife ever contact me again, she'll be getting a copy of this guy's profile and pictures along with any emails or texts where he has stated he is single and looking for his soul mate. You almost have to ask to see identification, the divorce decree, custody order and proof of employment because you just can't trust anyone anymore. Gone are the days when a man's word was worth something. Maybe I'm too old fashion, but honesty does not go out of style!
Food for thought, for those of you with daughters, do you want them being hurt by lying cheats? Let's not forget your sons, what kind of an example are you setting? Keep this in mind and treat others the way you want to be treated.
Good luck!
Dateless in Ottawa
Saturday, 25 March 2017
Sunday, 26 February 2017
A Quick Update
Hello Everyone,
It's been ages since I added a new post. I'm overwhelmed by the number of readers. Thank you!!!
As most of you have probably already figured out, I did end up dating Mr. Stucco for a while so hence the reason for no new online dating stories to share. I'll eventually write about some of our more memorable dates and travel adventures. He's a wonderful man and we had a lot of fun. Sadly largely due to medical issues, I ended the relationship after the holidays.
For now I have to focus on my children and my health. A friend suggested writing a book where I can further elaborate on all of these stories and add more drama and emotion. It's a work in progress, but I'm enjoying it. Given how popular my blog has been, I think many will enjoy the book even more than my posts.
I have remembered a few other online dating stories I had forgotten about so will post those along with more advice and observations. If anything else changes, you'll hear from me.
Thanks for reading, I look forward to writing more for you soon!
Dateless in Ottawa
It's been ages since I added a new post. I'm overwhelmed by the number of readers. Thank you!!!
As most of you have probably already figured out, I did end up dating Mr. Stucco for a while so hence the reason for no new online dating stories to share. I'll eventually write about some of our more memorable dates and travel adventures. He's a wonderful man and we had a lot of fun. Sadly largely due to medical issues, I ended the relationship after the holidays.
For now I have to focus on my children and my health. A friend suggested writing a book where I can further elaborate on all of these stories and add more drama and emotion. It's a work in progress, but I'm enjoying it. Given how popular my blog has been, I think many will enjoy the book even more than my posts.
I have remembered a few other online dating stories I had forgotten about so will post those along with more advice and observations. If anything else changes, you'll hear from me.
Thanks for reading, I look forward to writing more for you soon!
Dateless in Ottawa
Monday, 5 September 2016
Meanwhile on POF!
This blind date stuff was dragging on so in the background there was POF. More emails from men desperately looking for sex. How sad and pathetic. I give them credit for being honest and persistent, but after reading my profile it should have been painfully clear that I was not the least bit interested in one night stands or any kind of casual sexual relationship.
Browsing through profiles I came across a couple more of guys I know for a fact are in relationships yet here they are on POF claiming to be single or divorced! Are these guys for real??? Do they honestly think no one will see their picture and tell their wife/girlfriend? If there's one thing I've learned it's that Ottawa is way too small, sooner or later they will get caught. Unfortunate that innocent people wind up getting hurt. If you're not happy, step up and be honest. Don't make it any more ugly and painful than in has to be.
In the meantime, Mr. Stucco was earning bonus points for perseverance. The chivalry was front and centre making it very difficult to overlook. I'm not one to date several people at once. I needed to figure out whether things with Mr. Blind Date were going to work out or not. At this rate things weren't looking great mostly because in my opinion they were moving way too slow. There was also the question of the criminal record which would totally extinguish any possibility of a relationship if it did in fact exist.
Mr. Stucco texted regularly to wish me a good day in the morning and then again later at night to ask how my day had gone. He wasn't pushy or demanding, but was definitely working hard to keep my attention. I appreciated the thoughtfulness. He asked if I'd go see a movie with him on the weekend and I told him I'd get back to him soon. Thursday I was supposed to go out with Mr. Blind Date so by then I'd be able to figure things out somewhat and decide what to do.
Thursday morning arrived and I was excited. Work seemed to drag on all day. I thought it would never end. Finally I was home and getting ready, waiting for the phone call. It was odd, but Mr. Blind Date hadn't texted at all or sent any of his trademark FB pictures. Oh well. I went about my usual routine getting the kids fed and cleaning up and waited. 6:00 pm came and went and no phone call or text. 7:00 pm and still no word. It wasn't uncommon for him to pick up extra hours so I figured he probably worked late and then got stuck in traffic on his way home. 8:00 pm and that was it. Obviously at this point I wasn't going to go out and didn't expect to hear from him.
As a single parent, I know shit happens. A kid gets hurt, we forget about a sporting activity or play date, the school calls and you have 20 minutes to pick up your sick child then off to the urgent care clinic and the list goes on and on. I would give him the benefit of the doubt and wait to see what happens.
Friday morning I sent him a quick text asking if he was ok and wishing him a good day. He responded by asking if I'd like to meet for a walk that night. What? We're back to meeting and going for a walk? No mention of last night's date that didn't happen, no explanation. All as if nothing. Is this guy serious? I was floored and frankly, very annoyed. Instead I texted Mr. Stucco and accepted his movie invitation then texted Mr. Blind Date and told him I already had plans, maybe next week.
My girl friend called to ask me how the date went. She was shocked when I told her it didn't happen.
Her: "Are you sure you were supposed to go out on Thursday? Maybe you misunderstood?"
Me: "No, I didn't misunderstand. Here, let me read you his email."
The email was very clear. He sent it on the Wednesday. He apologized profusely for cancelling at the last minute. He went on to say he truly felt a connection and wanted to get to know me better so we could build a solid relationship. In the past he had made some bad choices, but I seemed like a really nice girl and he didn't want to mess it up. He was looking forward to Thursday night and decided we should meet for dinner. We could decide together where to go. No matter what we decided, he had no doubt we'd have lots of fun. Start with friendship and go from there.
Her: "Oh, I see. That's not good. I don't understand. He was talking about you at work. My hubby overheard him telling another guy how much he liked you and looked forward to getting to know you. He mentionned you guys were going out. Something must have happened."
Me: "I know things can happen, but no email and then texting the next day like nothing? Then the whole walk thing again?"
Her: "Really not cool, but he is a man afterall."
Me: "Being a person of your word is important to me. I don't have time for games, we're adults."
Her: "Yeah, I totally get it. I'll see if my hubby can find out what happened. He'll give him shit if he stood you up. That's so not right. Hang in there, if not him eventually the right one will come along."
I talked to another girlfriend that night and she was like, "You've been way too nice and patient already. Stop wasting your time. If he truly liked you, he'd make more of an effort. Can't afford coffee and forgets when he makes a date? NEXT! Move on honey you deserve way better. You're too good for him. I'm sorry you keep getting disappointed. Don't give up hope, Mr. Right will eventually find you. He just has to ask for directions."
Oh well. I had plans to go to the movies. Wish me luck, I so need it!!!!!
Dateless in Ottawa
Browsing through profiles I came across a couple more of guys I know for a fact are in relationships yet here they are on POF claiming to be single or divorced! Are these guys for real??? Do they honestly think no one will see their picture and tell their wife/girlfriend? If there's one thing I've learned it's that Ottawa is way too small, sooner or later they will get caught. Unfortunate that innocent people wind up getting hurt. If you're not happy, step up and be honest. Don't make it any more ugly and painful than in has to be.
In the meantime, Mr. Stucco was earning bonus points for perseverance. The chivalry was front and centre making it very difficult to overlook. I'm not one to date several people at once. I needed to figure out whether things with Mr. Blind Date were going to work out or not. At this rate things weren't looking great mostly because in my opinion they were moving way too slow. There was also the question of the criminal record which would totally extinguish any possibility of a relationship if it did in fact exist.
Mr. Stucco texted regularly to wish me a good day in the morning and then again later at night to ask how my day had gone. He wasn't pushy or demanding, but was definitely working hard to keep my attention. I appreciated the thoughtfulness. He asked if I'd go see a movie with him on the weekend and I told him I'd get back to him soon. Thursday I was supposed to go out with Mr. Blind Date so by then I'd be able to figure things out somewhat and decide what to do.
Thursday morning arrived and I was excited. Work seemed to drag on all day. I thought it would never end. Finally I was home and getting ready, waiting for the phone call. It was odd, but Mr. Blind Date hadn't texted at all or sent any of his trademark FB pictures. Oh well. I went about my usual routine getting the kids fed and cleaning up and waited. 6:00 pm came and went and no phone call or text. 7:00 pm and still no word. It wasn't uncommon for him to pick up extra hours so I figured he probably worked late and then got stuck in traffic on his way home. 8:00 pm and that was it. Obviously at this point I wasn't going to go out and didn't expect to hear from him.
As a single parent, I know shit happens. A kid gets hurt, we forget about a sporting activity or play date, the school calls and you have 20 minutes to pick up your sick child then off to the urgent care clinic and the list goes on and on. I would give him the benefit of the doubt and wait to see what happens.
Friday morning I sent him a quick text asking if he was ok and wishing him a good day. He responded by asking if I'd like to meet for a walk that night. What? We're back to meeting and going for a walk? No mention of last night's date that didn't happen, no explanation. All as if nothing. Is this guy serious? I was floored and frankly, very annoyed. Instead I texted Mr. Stucco and accepted his movie invitation then texted Mr. Blind Date and told him I already had plans, maybe next week.
My girl friend called to ask me how the date went. She was shocked when I told her it didn't happen.
Her: "Are you sure you were supposed to go out on Thursday? Maybe you misunderstood?"
Me: "No, I didn't misunderstand. Here, let me read you his email."
The email was very clear. He sent it on the Wednesday. He apologized profusely for cancelling at the last minute. He went on to say he truly felt a connection and wanted to get to know me better so we could build a solid relationship. In the past he had made some bad choices, but I seemed like a really nice girl and he didn't want to mess it up. He was looking forward to Thursday night and decided we should meet for dinner. We could decide together where to go. No matter what we decided, he had no doubt we'd have lots of fun. Start with friendship and go from there.
Her: "Oh, I see. That's not good. I don't understand. He was talking about you at work. My hubby overheard him telling another guy how much he liked you and looked forward to getting to know you. He mentionned you guys were going out. Something must have happened."
Me: "I know things can happen, but no email and then texting the next day like nothing? Then the whole walk thing again?"
Her: "Really not cool, but he is a man afterall."
Me: "Being a person of your word is important to me. I don't have time for games, we're adults."
Her: "Yeah, I totally get it. I'll see if my hubby can find out what happened. He'll give him shit if he stood you up. That's so not right. Hang in there, if not him eventually the right one will come along."
I talked to another girlfriend that night and she was like, "You've been way too nice and patient already. Stop wasting your time. If he truly liked you, he'd make more of an effort. Can't afford coffee and forgets when he makes a date? NEXT! Move on honey you deserve way better. You're too good for him. I'm sorry you keep getting disappointed. Don't give up hope, Mr. Right will eventually find you. He just has to ask for directions."
Oh well. I had plans to go to the movies. Wish me luck, I so need it!!!!!
Dateless in Ottawa
Mr. Blind Date finally makes contact!
After about a week, Mr. Blind date finally made contact. He sent a friend request on FB and I accepted. Soon after he started sending messages and pictures, unfortunately I couldn't open them on my wireless device and when I did there was nothing there. I was confused wondering why he was sending me blank messages. Leave it to me the IT challenged individual. No surprise that I didn't even think to log into my laptop. I don't get many messages on FB so I only browse occassionally on my device. Once again, I fail to understand why people can't call or at the very least text. He had my number. Why send pictures through FB? At least email. Don't people talk anymore? I felt really bad when I logged into my FB account and low and behold, there were all the pictures he had been sending. There were flowers and some really nice sayings. He was probably thinking, "What's up with this chick, here I am trying to be romantic and she's not responding???" I wrote to him and apologized. I explained how IT challenged I am and that texting or calling would be way better for me. Technology is not my forte. I'm the old fashioned, talking on the phone or meeting in person kind of gal. Thankfully he thought that was hilarious.
We finally started texting. He said he really liked me and we should get together soon. He had plans for the weekend so we'd touch base early next week. I received several texts over the weekend and we agreed to meet up Tuesday night for drinks after dinner. I was excited. He was a really fun guy so even if it didn't progress any further than friendship, he'd make a great friend. The fact that he didn't live too far from me was a bonus with both of us having the kids at home.
Tuesday arrived and as promised, he called me when he got home from work. Sadly he sounded horrible. His voice was raspy and kept breaking up. It was obvious he was sick.
Him: "I'm really, really sorry but I'm having a really bad allergy attack. I've been sick like this all day. I went to the pharmacy to get allergy meds, but they aren't working. I feel horrible cancelling on you last minute, but can we go out on Thursday night instead?"
Me: "You sound terrible. Stay home and relax, Thursday works for me."
Him: "I swear I'm not brushing you off, I really do want to see you again. I had a great time at the concert and I think we'd be a good match. I feel like a jerk, but I wouldn't be any fun tonight."
Me: "I completely understand, don't worry. I appreciate you being honest and not wanting to share your germs. It's all good, we'll meet up on Thursday."
Him: "By the way, I'm having some financial issues so can we meet somewhere and just go for a walk?"
I paused for a second. This was not what I expected to hear, but hey we all have our financial constraints and bonus to him for being honest. Coffee wouldn't set a person back that much, but whatever. Best to get out and enjoy the Summer while it lasts. Lac Leamy would be a really nice setting to sit and talk and maybe wade in the water.
Me: "Ok, that's fine. Why don't we meet at Lac Leamy and take a walk around the lake?"
Him: "Lac Leamy? That's a bit far. I thought you lived closer to me."
Me: "I'm just across the bridge from you. We could go somewhere else, you decide I'm flexible. Give me a shout when you get home from work and we'll go from there."
Him: "Yeah, ok. Have a great night and we'll talk soon. Thanks for understanding I really appreciate it."
He couldn't afford coffee and now I live too far away??? This wasn't leaving me with a very fuzzy feeling. I finally meet someone that on the surface seemed to be a reasonably good match and lived close by, but by the end of the conversation most hope had quickly dissipated.
He sent me a long email the following day. Once again he apologized profusely for cancelling at the last minute. He went on to say he truly felt a connection and wanted to get to know me better so we could build a solid relationship. In the past he had made some bad choices, but I seemed like a really nice girl and he didn't want to mess it up. He was looking forward to Thursday night and decided we should meet for dinner. We could decide together where to go. No matter what we decided, he had no doubt we'd have lots of fun. Start with friendship and go from there.
He redeemed himself! Lol The email left me feeling really positive. I responded and thanked him for his email. Thursday night would definitely be fun. We'd talk after work and make plans.
I called my girl friend to tell her the news and she was thrilled. She filled her hubby in and he'd follow up with him after the date to see what he thought. They also wanted to plan a BBQ at their place, but I told them to wait a bit.
Off I went to get a pedicure, had to look good for my date!
Dateless in Ottawa
We finally started texting. He said he really liked me and we should get together soon. He had plans for the weekend so we'd touch base early next week. I received several texts over the weekend and we agreed to meet up Tuesday night for drinks after dinner. I was excited. He was a really fun guy so even if it didn't progress any further than friendship, he'd make a great friend. The fact that he didn't live too far from me was a bonus with both of us having the kids at home.
Tuesday arrived and as promised, he called me when he got home from work. Sadly he sounded horrible. His voice was raspy and kept breaking up. It was obvious he was sick.
Him: "I'm really, really sorry but I'm having a really bad allergy attack. I've been sick like this all day. I went to the pharmacy to get allergy meds, but they aren't working. I feel horrible cancelling on you last minute, but can we go out on Thursday night instead?"
Me: "You sound terrible. Stay home and relax, Thursday works for me."
Him: "I swear I'm not brushing you off, I really do want to see you again. I had a great time at the concert and I think we'd be a good match. I feel like a jerk, but I wouldn't be any fun tonight."
Me: "I completely understand, don't worry. I appreciate you being honest and not wanting to share your germs. It's all good, we'll meet up on Thursday."
Him: "By the way, I'm having some financial issues so can we meet somewhere and just go for a walk?"
I paused for a second. This was not what I expected to hear, but hey we all have our financial constraints and bonus to him for being honest. Coffee wouldn't set a person back that much, but whatever. Best to get out and enjoy the Summer while it lasts. Lac Leamy would be a really nice setting to sit and talk and maybe wade in the water.
Me: "Ok, that's fine. Why don't we meet at Lac Leamy and take a walk around the lake?"
Him: "Lac Leamy? That's a bit far. I thought you lived closer to me."
Me: "I'm just across the bridge from you. We could go somewhere else, you decide I'm flexible. Give me a shout when you get home from work and we'll go from there."
Him: "Yeah, ok. Have a great night and we'll talk soon. Thanks for understanding I really appreciate it."
He couldn't afford coffee and now I live too far away??? This wasn't leaving me with a very fuzzy feeling. I finally meet someone that on the surface seemed to be a reasonably good match and lived close by, but by the end of the conversation most hope had quickly dissipated.
He sent me a long email the following day. Once again he apologized profusely for cancelling at the last minute. He went on to say he truly felt a connection and wanted to get to know me better so we could build a solid relationship. In the past he had made some bad choices, but I seemed like a really nice girl and he didn't want to mess it up. He was looking forward to Thursday night and decided we should meet for dinner. We could decide together where to go. No matter what we decided, he had no doubt we'd have lots of fun. Start with friendship and go from there.
He redeemed himself! Lol The email left me feeling really positive. I responded and thanked him for his email. Thursday night would definitely be fun. We'd talk after work and make plans.
I called my girl friend to tell her the news and she was thrilled. She filled her hubby in and he'd follow up with him after the date to see what he thought. They also wanted to plan a BBQ at their place, but I told them to wait a bit.
Off I went to get a pedicure, had to look good for my date!
Dateless in Ottawa
Sunday, 28 August 2016
Review of the Blind Date
The next day my girl friend and I caught up to compare notes. Before I met my date I had some information on him, but I learned a lot more during the date. My friends didn't know him very well, just some basics. Him and my girl friend's husband worked together. What I knew before the date:
- he worked in construction
- he had kids
- was well liked by his co-workers
- had a great sense of humour
- he was tall
- he had tattoos
When I met him, the first thing that stood out was his height. He was about 6'2, stocky, with dark hair and eyes. His eyes lit up and he had a great smile. The entire night he had us in stitches laughing at his jokes, stories and antics.
He definitely had tattoos. Perhaps a few too many for my taste. I'm all for art and personal expression, but if you're going to put something permanent on your body it should be done tastefully and professionally. I think consideration of where to put them is also extremely important. Tattoos can be beautiful, but there's a time and place for them. Personally I would prefer to have them in strategic places where they are easy to hide for instances where you may prefer someone doesn't see them (ie. Job interview, wedding or special occasion, etc.). He had some on his hands that you'd never be able to hide.
He dressed well and was very well put together.
Other common interests included cooking, music, family and going out. He wasn't big on travel due to financial constraints, but loved taking the kids camping. Overall things looked good, camping wasn't for me but a couple doesn't having to do everything together. I was going to keep an open mind.
He had children. We thought he had 2, but it turns out there were 3. The youngest was from his last relationship and the 2 older ones from his first relationship of which he had recently won full custody of.
Throughout the night we had a few conversations and talked about the usual work, kids and life. When I first meet someone I tend to be very quiet and reserved. I listen, ask a few questions, watch how they interact with others and pay attention. Amazing the things you can learn about a person just by sitting back and listening and watching their body language.
At one point he commented about having been away on holidays and how he went to court to fight for custody when he got out. This stood out. What kind of vacation does one go on where you then have to be "let out"? Call me negative or an over thinker, but did that mean jail? OMG, this was not good. With my security requirements at work this could be a very bad thing. This was red flag #1.
As it relates to the kids, I already have 4 so another 3 could be a challenge. I love kids and wanted more so would definitely be open to trying, but past experience taught me that juggling the sports and activity schedules for several kids can be exhausting and leave little time for one-on-one with a potential mate. In this case, based on his stories, there would also be 2 crazy exs to deal with and this was less than appealing to me. I don't do well with crazy ex's, been there, done that, got the battle scars! No thank you. Red flag #2.
Most of my "must haves" were checked off, so there was definitely some potential. By the same token some clarifications were required.
When my girl friend and I met up, she was surprised at my observations.
Her: "Jail, are you sure? OMG, where was I? I totally didn't hear that part of the conversation, but I can see how you'd assume that. Vacation and when he got out he went to court??? Maybe I was too busy enjoying the popcorn! Lol Well you have to find out, that would not be good for your job. I'll ask my hubby, but he totally wouldn't set you up with someone that has a record if he knew about it. They are not close friends, just work together so hard to know everything."
Me: "All good, I could be totally wrong. After so many bad experiences I just assume the worst. If we go out again I can ask him and see."
Her: "He really liked you. It seemed like you guys were hitting it off and you had fun."
Me: "I did have a great time. He is really nice and he seems like he's totally my type."
Her: "My hubby did a great job, I'm so impressed."
Me: "Me too, thank him for me."
Now it was the waiting game. Who does what and when? I'm old fashionned so as far as I'm concerned, he had to make the first move.
We'll have to wait and see what happens! Enjoy your weekend,
Dateless in Ottawa
- he worked in construction
- he had kids
- was well liked by his co-workers
- had a great sense of humour
- he was tall
- he had tattoos
When I met him, the first thing that stood out was his height. He was about 6'2, stocky, with dark hair and eyes. His eyes lit up and he had a great smile. The entire night he had us in stitches laughing at his jokes, stories and antics.
He definitely had tattoos. Perhaps a few too many for my taste. I'm all for art and personal expression, but if you're going to put something permanent on your body it should be done tastefully and professionally. I think consideration of where to put them is also extremely important. Tattoos can be beautiful, but there's a time and place for them. Personally I would prefer to have them in strategic places where they are easy to hide for instances where you may prefer someone doesn't see them (ie. Job interview, wedding or special occasion, etc.). He had some on his hands that you'd never be able to hide.
He dressed well and was very well put together.
Other common interests included cooking, music, family and going out. He wasn't big on travel due to financial constraints, but loved taking the kids camping. Overall things looked good, camping wasn't for me but a couple doesn't having to do everything together. I was going to keep an open mind.
He had children. We thought he had 2, but it turns out there were 3. The youngest was from his last relationship and the 2 older ones from his first relationship of which he had recently won full custody of.
Throughout the night we had a few conversations and talked about the usual work, kids and life. When I first meet someone I tend to be very quiet and reserved. I listen, ask a few questions, watch how they interact with others and pay attention. Amazing the things you can learn about a person just by sitting back and listening and watching their body language.
At one point he commented about having been away on holidays and how he went to court to fight for custody when he got out. This stood out. What kind of vacation does one go on where you then have to be "let out"? Call me negative or an over thinker, but did that mean jail? OMG, this was not good. With my security requirements at work this could be a very bad thing. This was red flag #1.
As it relates to the kids, I already have 4 so another 3 could be a challenge. I love kids and wanted more so would definitely be open to trying, but past experience taught me that juggling the sports and activity schedules for several kids can be exhausting and leave little time for one-on-one with a potential mate. In this case, based on his stories, there would also be 2 crazy exs to deal with and this was less than appealing to me. I don't do well with crazy ex's, been there, done that, got the battle scars! No thank you. Red flag #2.
Most of my "must haves" were checked off, so there was definitely some potential. By the same token some clarifications were required.
When my girl friend and I met up, she was surprised at my observations.
Her: "Jail, are you sure? OMG, where was I? I totally didn't hear that part of the conversation, but I can see how you'd assume that. Vacation and when he got out he went to court??? Maybe I was too busy enjoying the popcorn! Lol Well you have to find out, that would not be good for your job. I'll ask my hubby, but he totally wouldn't set you up with someone that has a record if he knew about it. They are not close friends, just work together so hard to know everything."
Me: "All good, I could be totally wrong. After so many bad experiences I just assume the worst. If we go out again I can ask him and see."
Her: "He really liked you. It seemed like you guys were hitting it off and you had fun."
Me: "I did have a great time. He is really nice and he seems like he's totally my type."
Her: "My hubby did a great job, I'm so impressed."
Me: "Me too, thank him for me."
Now it was the waiting game. Who does what and when? I'm old fashionned so as far as I'm concerned, he had to make the first move.
We'll have to wait and see what happens! Enjoy your weekend,
Dateless in Ottawa
Wednesday, 24 August 2016
The Blind Date!
After what seemed like an eternity, Thursday night arrived. My girl friend had sent me pictures of my date from Facebook and her husband had showed him pictures of me. We were both excited. As single parents, I think any change in routine is welcome!
I finished work early and decided I'd meet everyone at the venue instead of waiting for them to pick me up. Worked out well because traffic was horrible and they were running late. It was a beautiful night. The sun had been shining all day and there was a nice breeze. I arrived first. My date had also arrived early, but he went to a bar to kill the time until everyone arrived. My girl friend texted that he was over at a bar close by wearing a blue shirt, but I couldn't figure out where he was. Turns out I parked in the wrong place no where near where I was supposed to be. Oh well, I waited for my friends to arrive. They parked in the wrong place too! Lol
We finally found the venue where we were supposed to be. Since we were late, we didn't have time to eat so popcorn had to do the trick! I went next door to the movie theatre and bought popcorn.
My date was there. He was tall and stocky with short dark hair and dark eyes. He was totally my type. My friend did a great job, you'd think I had picked this guy myself! He was very friendly and hilarious. It was obvious he was a bit nervous. The night was filled with laughter and interesting conversations. The concert was great as usual and afterwards we hung around and chatted for a bit.
Since we had parked in the wrong place, my date drove us back to our vehicles. He was thoroughly impressed that I drove a truck. When we got to my vehicle, he insisted on me waiting until he came around to open the door for me. Chivalry gets my attention every time so he was scoring major brownie points. He walked me to the truck, thanked me for agreeing to meet him and gave me a huge hug. He said he hoped to see me again soon.
It was a great night. Everyone had fun. There was no pressure and I was very happy I had agreed to go. It was late, so I decided to meet up with my girl friend for lunch the next day to compare notes.
Funny how you hear mixed reviews about blind dates, but I had a great time. I guess the fact that my friend did such a good job finding someone that was very compatible with me helps. Going on a double date also takes a lot of the pressure off.
Stay tuned for the verdict! Thanks for reading and have a great night.
Dateless in Ottawa
I finished work early and decided I'd meet everyone at the venue instead of waiting for them to pick me up. Worked out well because traffic was horrible and they were running late. It was a beautiful night. The sun had been shining all day and there was a nice breeze. I arrived first. My date had also arrived early, but he went to a bar to kill the time until everyone arrived. My girl friend texted that he was over at a bar close by wearing a blue shirt, but I couldn't figure out where he was. Turns out I parked in the wrong place no where near where I was supposed to be. Oh well, I waited for my friends to arrive. They parked in the wrong place too! Lol
We finally found the venue where we were supposed to be. Since we were late, we didn't have time to eat so popcorn had to do the trick! I went next door to the movie theatre and bought popcorn.
My date was there. He was tall and stocky with short dark hair and dark eyes. He was totally my type. My friend did a great job, you'd think I had picked this guy myself! He was very friendly and hilarious. It was obvious he was a bit nervous. The night was filled with laughter and interesting conversations. The concert was great as usual and afterwards we hung around and chatted for a bit.
Since we had parked in the wrong place, my date drove us back to our vehicles. He was thoroughly impressed that I drove a truck. When we got to my vehicle, he insisted on me waiting until he came around to open the door for me. Chivalry gets my attention every time so he was scoring major brownie points. He walked me to the truck, thanked me for agreeing to meet him and gave me a huge hug. He said he hoped to see me again soon.
It was a great night. Everyone had fun. There was no pressure and I was very happy I had agreed to go. It was late, so I decided to meet up with my girl friend for lunch the next day to compare notes.
Funny how you hear mixed reviews about blind dates, but I had a great time. I guess the fact that my friend did such a good job finding someone that was very compatible with me helps. Going on a double date also takes a lot of the pressure off.
Stay tuned for the verdict! Thanks for reading and have a great night.
Dateless in Ottawa
Wednesday, 17 August 2016
Ok, back to POF while waiting for the blind date
I was excited about the blind date, but that was still a week away so I decided to log back into POF to read the latest emails. Great way to kill the time and a good source of entertainment when one is bored. Worst case I could email Mr. Grizzly or Mr. HVAC to find out how their POF experiences were going.
5. Mr. Stucco
He was 54, divorced and the profile stated his kids were all over 18. He wasn't tall with salt and pepper hair and a stockier build. The profile picture was great with a nice smile. By reading the profile you could tell he wasn't a writer. It was short and to the point. Family was a big priority in his life. His introductory email was polite and complimentary. The least I could do was respond as he sounded sincere and I found him attractive.
We exchanged a few emails, but at times he didn't respond for days. I wasn't sure how serious he was and figured he was probably emailing with a bunch of women at the same time. Responses were very short or one word answers which annoy me. After several of these short emails I suggested texting or talking on the phone, but told him that meeting for coffee should happen sooner rather than later. I wasn't interested in endless emails or texting. He seemed surprised and said that would be a good idea, maybe we could arrange something soon.
After a couple of weeks of emailing and texting he finally called me out of the blue. I was out with a girl friend so I asked him if I could call him later and he agreed. We had a good conversation. He was funny and entertaining. Our backgrounds and family were very similar so there was lots to talk about. He asked if I'd be willing to meet him for a drink and I agreed. He was very accommodating and insisted on a place close to my house in case I needed to get back to the kids. Friday night we would meet and go from there.
He arrived before I did and waited in the parking lot. I recognized him immediately, but I was very disappointed. He had long hair and was bigger than in his picture which obviously wasn't recent. He was extremely polite and had all the elements of chivalry down pat. We had a really nice time and our waiter was hilarious. The conversation flowed really well. We grew up in the same neighbourhood and knew a lot of the same people. Turns out I knew some of his immediate relatives too. What a small world!
For me when someone doesn't look like their picture, I immediately have doubts and wonder what else they are being dishonest about. Usually you only have one chance to make a good first impression, but for some reason he managed to keep my attention. He came across very honest and sincere. Part way through the night I did call him on his picture and he apologized. He wanted to see me again and I told him I'd let him know. In the back of my mind I knew I had a blind date coming up so I didn't want to commit to anything.
A few more emails came in. Sadly they were mostly soliciting sex or the standard "Hi!" If men can't make more of an effort, neither will I. Time to prepare for my blind date.
Dateless in Ottawa
5. Mr. Stucco
He was 54, divorced and the profile stated his kids were all over 18. He wasn't tall with salt and pepper hair and a stockier build. The profile picture was great with a nice smile. By reading the profile you could tell he wasn't a writer. It was short and to the point. Family was a big priority in his life. His introductory email was polite and complimentary. The least I could do was respond as he sounded sincere and I found him attractive.
We exchanged a few emails, but at times he didn't respond for days. I wasn't sure how serious he was and figured he was probably emailing with a bunch of women at the same time. Responses were very short or one word answers which annoy me. After several of these short emails I suggested texting or talking on the phone, but told him that meeting for coffee should happen sooner rather than later. I wasn't interested in endless emails or texting. He seemed surprised and said that would be a good idea, maybe we could arrange something soon.
After a couple of weeks of emailing and texting he finally called me out of the blue. I was out with a girl friend so I asked him if I could call him later and he agreed. We had a good conversation. He was funny and entertaining. Our backgrounds and family were very similar so there was lots to talk about. He asked if I'd be willing to meet him for a drink and I agreed. He was very accommodating and insisted on a place close to my house in case I needed to get back to the kids. Friday night we would meet and go from there.
He arrived before I did and waited in the parking lot. I recognized him immediately, but I was very disappointed. He had long hair and was bigger than in his picture which obviously wasn't recent. He was extremely polite and had all the elements of chivalry down pat. We had a really nice time and our waiter was hilarious. The conversation flowed really well. We grew up in the same neighbourhood and knew a lot of the same people. Turns out I knew some of his immediate relatives too. What a small world!
For me when someone doesn't look like their picture, I immediately have doubts and wonder what else they are being dishonest about. Usually you only have one chance to make a good first impression, but for some reason he managed to keep my attention. He came across very honest and sincere. Part way through the night I did call him on his picture and he apologized. He wanted to see me again and I told him I'd let him know. In the back of my mind I knew I had a blind date coming up so I didn't want to commit to anything.
A few more emails came in. Sadly they were mostly soliciting sex or the standard "Hi!" If men can't make more of an effort, neither will I. Time to prepare for my blind date.
Dateless in Ottawa
Sunday, 14 August 2016
Wait! A blind date courtesy of close friends.
Just as I was sitting on the fence debating my decision to go back to online dating, my girl friend texts one afternoon and asks if I can talk. This was alarming as she rarely calls, we mostly communicate by text or email. It was also 4:30 in the afternoon so I thought she'd been in an accident on her way home or something happened at work. I called her right away.
Her: "Are you sitting down?"
Me: "What's going on, are you ok? You have me worried. Yes I am sitting, I'm on my way to the daycare."
Her: "Oh yeah, sorry everything is fine. You're not going to believe what my husband did. Are you free next Thursday night?"
Me: "What did he do, are you ok?"
Her: "Yeah, yeah, everything is fine. Get this, he's playing matchmaker and wants to set you up on a blind date. He never does this, he just called me and told me to get a hold of you to see if you'd be interested. Would you be willing to go? No pressure, it's ok if you don't want to. It would be like a double date. He has a gig in Aylmer and a buddy of his would meet us there. It's a guy he works with and he's pretty sure you guys would hit it off. I don't know him well, but you know my hubby and how protective he is of you and the kids. He sounds really nice and totally your type. He has kids too."
Me: "Sounds like fun, I'm game. I don't have any plans and the kids don't have any activities so Thursday is perfect."
Her: "Cool, we can pick you up on the way. We'll talk before and figure it out."
I was excited. My girl friend and her husband knew me really well. They were there for me when my husband committed suicide and helped out with the kids. Whether it was brining over meals, lending me a shoulder to cry on or helping out with the kids, they were like family. Her husband was extremely protective and would never try to set me up with someone who wouldn't be respectful of me or accepting of the children. I was very touched he was doing this. If nothing else, I would get out and have fun. Watching my friend and his buddies perform was always guaranteed to be a great time.
This would be a welcomed change to online dating. Stay tuned for details on how my blind date went!
Dateless in Ottawa
Her: "Are you sitting down?"
Me: "What's going on, are you ok? You have me worried. Yes I am sitting, I'm on my way to the daycare."
Her: "Oh yeah, sorry everything is fine. You're not going to believe what my husband did. Are you free next Thursday night?"
Me: "What did he do, are you ok?"
Her: "Yeah, yeah, everything is fine. Get this, he's playing matchmaker and wants to set you up on a blind date. He never does this, he just called me and told me to get a hold of you to see if you'd be interested. Would you be willing to go? No pressure, it's ok if you don't want to. It would be like a double date. He has a gig in Aylmer and a buddy of his would meet us there. It's a guy he works with and he's pretty sure you guys would hit it off. I don't know him well, but you know my hubby and how protective he is of you and the kids. He sounds really nice and totally your type. He has kids too."
Me: "Sounds like fun, I'm game. I don't have any plans and the kids don't have any activities so Thursday is perfect."
Her: "Cool, we can pick you up on the way. We'll talk before and figure it out."
I was excited. My girl friend and her husband knew me really well. They were there for me when my husband committed suicide and helped out with the kids. Whether it was brining over meals, lending me a shoulder to cry on or helping out with the kids, they were like family. Her husband was extremely protective and would never try to set me up with someone who wouldn't be respectful of me or accepting of the children. I was very touched he was doing this. If nothing else, I would get out and have fun. Watching my friend and his buddies perform was always guaranteed to be a great time.
This would be a welcomed change to online dating. Stay tuned for details on how my blind date went!
Dateless in Ottawa
More emails and more adventures!
I had received several more notifications of emails in POF so I logged in to see what interesting adventures awaited me.
3. Mr. Musician
The profile stated he was 53, widowed and had a young son. He was fairly tall, stocky with white long hair. Not my style, but I was keeping an open mind. According to his profile he was semi-retired and had sufficient income from various sources providing him with the luxury of not having to work if he didn't want to. This set off the first red flag. As I've said before, confidence is sexy, arrogance is a major turn off.
His profile was longer than most. He really liked talking about himself. I'll give him credit, it was extremely well written. The introductory email was also quite long. I decided not to respond right away, I had to think about it. It sound a bit padded and exaggerated, or perhaps I was already feeling jaded.
He must have noticed I was online because he wrote again and insisted I would be missing out on an awesome guy if I didn't meet him. More arrogance! I still waited another day before responding. He bragged about luxury vehicles, travelling the world during his rock band days and enjoying the finer things in life. He claimed to be very affectionate and had a higher than normal sex drive. Just what I needed to hear! So much for leaving some mystery and intrigue.
I finally responded and we quickly moved to the phone as I much prefer talking over endless emails.
This is when the truth came out. During our conversations I threw in a few questions. After a couple of conversations I quickly learned that all the information in the profile was a lie. Also, based on our conversations, I felt like he was much older than 53, but he insisted he wasn't.
Widowed = his wife had left him 2 years earlier then died unexpectedly of cancer which left him with his 10 year old son. He was living with someone else while on the verge of getting divorced. Not sure how he deemed himself to be widowed, nice try though. We had an interesting discussion over the definition of widowed. I take great offence when people use this classification to get sympathy and attention. By the way, he was 3 times divorced. Not a very good track record.
1 young son = plus he had 3 more children from other previous relationships. The oldest was 39! How could he possibly be 53? More inconsistencies.
Had enough income from various sources = he had not worked in years. Claimed to have enough in survivor benefits to live comfortably, yet went on and on about having just moved into a crappy one bedroom in a bad neighbourhood and not having a vehicle. I receive survivor benefits and can attest to the fact that they are everything but generous. Me and my kids would starve to death on the amount I receive.
What happened to his MGB convertible that he stored in the 1000 Islands, his SUV and his every day car? All of sudden he was selling the MGB because he needed money, but it needed $5K in work yet he needed to keep his fun car for the summer. He was also in the textile import business. Claiming to work with Marshalls and Winners waiting for a big deal to go through in the US. Travels to India and Indonesia were common because this is where he purchased the exotic fabrics, but when I asked him when was the last time he had visited these countries, it was almost 10 years ago. Yup, very active import business - NOT! Perfect example of a freeloader. His most recent girlfriend had dumped him. Apparently she lived downtown and owned a beautiful large home. She worked full-time and sounds like she wasn't thrilled to have to assume the role of Mom out of the blue either.
He had a higher than normal sex drive = he had to use Viagra on a regular basis. This further supported my suspicions that he was older than he claimed to be. Why a man feels the need to tell a woman he hasn't even met he needs to use Viagra, is beyond me.
Then he said he was going to go back to school in the US to become a lawyer. When he came back to Canada all he would need was 8 billable hours a week to live like a king. He was going to go to Harvard with a full scholarship. What? My goodness, not sure what reality he's living in.
He was so full of shit I could smell him through the phone. It was very sad that someone that age had to lie to that extent to make himself bigger and more important that he was. I felt really sorry for his 10 year old son. How sad. Not long after he updated his profile. In the openning line he admitted he was actually 64, but lowered his age on the profile so that he'd have access to a greater pool of younger women. Unbelievable!
I stopped all communication. Not the kind of person I need in my life. Thankfully he didn't have my number so couldn't call me.
NEXT!!!!
4. The Muscle Head
He was younger, separated and had 2 young boys. He was average height with a shaved head and covered in tattoos. According to the profile he lived close to me and was a mechanic.
The profile was extremely short. He was looking for someone affectionate and loving. To me this spells looking for sex. From my experience, separated usually means very married looking to screw around.
His introductory email was polite, so I wrote back. It was a simple, "Thanks for your email and for the compliment." He later responded that he didn't want to communicate on POF, he'd rather talk on Facebook. I declined, I'm not interested in sharing personal and family details with a complete stranger.
He wrote again and insisted that I add him as a friend on Facebook. I deleted his message and ignored other emails. He eventually stopped writing.
Then there were the usually emails soliciting sex or simply being rude. Delete, delete and delete!
Oh well, there's always tomorrow. Wish me luck, I think I'm going to need it badly. Lol
Dateless in Ottawa
3. Mr. Musician
The profile stated he was 53, widowed and had a young son. He was fairly tall, stocky with white long hair. Not my style, but I was keeping an open mind. According to his profile he was semi-retired and had sufficient income from various sources providing him with the luxury of not having to work if he didn't want to. This set off the first red flag. As I've said before, confidence is sexy, arrogance is a major turn off.
His profile was longer than most. He really liked talking about himself. I'll give him credit, it was extremely well written. The introductory email was also quite long. I decided not to respond right away, I had to think about it. It sound a bit padded and exaggerated, or perhaps I was already feeling jaded.
He must have noticed I was online because he wrote again and insisted I would be missing out on an awesome guy if I didn't meet him. More arrogance! I still waited another day before responding. He bragged about luxury vehicles, travelling the world during his rock band days and enjoying the finer things in life. He claimed to be very affectionate and had a higher than normal sex drive. Just what I needed to hear! So much for leaving some mystery and intrigue.
I finally responded and we quickly moved to the phone as I much prefer talking over endless emails.
This is when the truth came out. During our conversations I threw in a few questions. After a couple of conversations I quickly learned that all the information in the profile was a lie. Also, based on our conversations, I felt like he was much older than 53, but he insisted he wasn't.
Widowed = his wife had left him 2 years earlier then died unexpectedly of cancer which left him with his 10 year old son. He was living with someone else while on the verge of getting divorced. Not sure how he deemed himself to be widowed, nice try though. We had an interesting discussion over the definition of widowed. I take great offence when people use this classification to get sympathy and attention. By the way, he was 3 times divorced. Not a very good track record.
1 young son = plus he had 3 more children from other previous relationships. The oldest was 39! How could he possibly be 53? More inconsistencies.
Had enough income from various sources = he had not worked in years. Claimed to have enough in survivor benefits to live comfortably, yet went on and on about having just moved into a crappy one bedroom in a bad neighbourhood and not having a vehicle. I receive survivor benefits and can attest to the fact that they are everything but generous. Me and my kids would starve to death on the amount I receive.
What happened to his MGB convertible that he stored in the 1000 Islands, his SUV and his every day car? All of sudden he was selling the MGB because he needed money, but it needed $5K in work yet he needed to keep his fun car for the summer. He was also in the textile import business. Claiming to work with Marshalls and Winners waiting for a big deal to go through in the US. Travels to India and Indonesia were common because this is where he purchased the exotic fabrics, but when I asked him when was the last time he had visited these countries, it was almost 10 years ago. Yup, very active import business - NOT! Perfect example of a freeloader. His most recent girlfriend had dumped him. Apparently she lived downtown and owned a beautiful large home. She worked full-time and sounds like she wasn't thrilled to have to assume the role of Mom out of the blue either.
He had a higher than normal sex drive = he had to use Viagra on a regular basis. This further supported my suspicions that he was older than he claimed to be. Why a man feels the need to tell a woman he hasn't even met he needs to use Viagra, is beyond me.
Then he said he was going to go back to school in the US to become a lawyer. When he came back to Canada all he would need was 8 billable hours a week to live like a king. He was going to go to Harvard with a full scholarship. What? My goodness, not sure what reality he's living in.
He was so full of shit I could smell him through the phone. It was very sad that someone that age had to lie to that extent to make himself bigger and more important that he was. I felt really sorry for his 10 year old son. How sad. Not long after he updated his profile. In the openning line he admitted he was actually 64, but lowered his age on the profile so that he'd have access to a greater pool of younger women. Unbelievable!
I stopped all communication. Not the kind of person I need in my life. Thankfully he didn't have my number so couldn't call me.
NEXT!!!!
4. The Muscle Head
He was younger, separated and had 2 young boys. He was average height with a shaved head and covered in tattoos. According to the profile he lived close to me and was a mechanic.
The profile was extremely short. He was looking for someone affectionate and loving. To me this spells looking for sex. From my experience, separated usually means very married looking to screw around.
His introductory email was polite, so I wrote back. It was a simple, "Thanks for your email and for the compliment." He later responded that he didn't want to communicate on POF, he'd rather talk on Facebook. I declined, I'm not interested in sharing personal and family details with a complete stranger.
He wrote again and insisted that I add him as a friend on Facebook. I deleted his message and ignored other emails. He eventually stopped writing.
Then there were the usually emails soliciting sex or simply being rude. Delete, delete and delete!
Oh well, there's always tomorrow. Wish me luck, I think I'm going to need it badly. Lol
Dateless in Ottawa
Wednesday, 10 August 2016
Round 33 - And the fun begins!
Minutes after posting my profile, the emails started coming in. This time I was going to limit how much time I spent on POF. It's too easy to become addicted. In the preferences I set it up so that I'd get a notification when an email arrived in my inbox. No more logging in constantly to check. I would try to log into my account only once a week. Before long, there were 4 emails so I figured it was time to log in and read them.
I'll start my numbering at 1 again, this way it doesn't look nearly as bad!
1. Mr. Produce
We were the same age. He was divorced, average height, with dark hair and a 6 year old daughter. This guy had written a few times during my many rounds of online dating, but I didn't write about him in my other posts. He's one of the ones I had forgotten about. In the past we had communicated and he sounded ok initially, until he started going on about having a financial investment company and how he helps others make money on their investments. Sadly I think he needed to take his own advice or seek the advice of a real financial advisor so he could make some money as he was still working at a grocery store as a produce clerk. Not to sound shallow, but when someone uses the phrase "I live a very simple life" 5 times in their profile, to me this = major financial issues. Funny when guys don't even remember they've already written to you in the past. I haven't changed much over the years and my name is not common. I should have been recognizable in my pictures. He was persistent and felt we'd be a good match. I responded that we had communicated previously and we were not a suitable match. I wished him luck with his search.
2. Mr. Entrepreneur
Another repeat customer! He was slightly older, tall, with dark hair, single and no kids. His profile went on and on about all the businesses he owned and his successes. This guy had also written previously using various different user names. One of the fast and furious writers that suddenly vanishes as quickly as he appears. It was one message of flattery after another. He was using the exact same profile picture for years. Interesting how some of these guys never seem to age! I was amused and figured I'd play along. Sure enough, within a few days he disappeared. The profile had been deleted, but wait he put another one up using the same picture and a new username just days later! Once again he started writing as if we had never communicated before. What an idiot! Are you kidding me? I asked him if he was suffering from an identity crisis and amnesia. He was confused. He had no clue what I was referring to. I had to send him his previous user name and copies of the emails he had sent along with his profile pic. DELETE, BLOCK .... next!
I had to stop and ask myself "What the hell are you doing on here again?" Things have obviously not changed, nor will they. Sadly as I scrolled through profiles in the hopes of finding some new prospects, I came across the profiles of guys I knew well who were in relationships. Why do guys cheat? And on POF of all places where your face is posted for all to see? Sooner or later you're going to get caught, what's the point? This always leaves me feeling sick to my stomach and torn. Do I call my girlfriends and tell them? Should I print and send them the profile? If, no when I run into these guys in person, they will definitely get an earful. This is not acceptable, at least not to me. I would certainly want to know if my man was cheating on me.
Enough, I didn't want to read any more emails. While I was logged on, several more emails came in. This was not starting off very well, at least not the way I had hoped.
I'll give it a few days and build up the courage to read the other emails. Bye for now!
Dateless in Ottawa
I'll start my numbering at 1 again, this way it doesn't look nearly as bad!
1. Mr. Produce
We were the same age. He was divorced, average height, with dark hair and a 6 year old daughter. This guy had written a few times during my many rounds of online dating, but I didn't write about him in my other posts. He's one of the ones I had forgotten about. In the past we had communicated and he sounded ok initially, until he started going on about having a financial investment company and how he helps others make money on their investments. Sadly I think he needed to take his own advice or seek the advice of a real financial advisor so he could make some money as he was still working at a grocery store as a produce clerk. Not to sound shallow, but when someone uses the phrase "I live a very simple life" 5 times in their profile, to me this = major financial issues. Funny when guys don't even remember they've already written to you in the past. I haven't changed much over the years and my name is not common. I should have been recognizable in my pictures. He was persistent and felt we'd be a good match. I responded that we had communicated previously and we were not a suitable match. I wished him luck with his search.
2. Mr. Entrepreneur
Another repeat customer! He was slightly older, tall, with dark hair, single and no kids. His profile went on and on about all the businesses he owned and his successes. This guy had also written previously using various different user names. One of the fast and furious writers that suddenly vanishes as quickly as he appears. It was one message of flattery after another. He was using the exact same profile picture for years. Interesting how some of these guys never seem to age! I was amused and figured I'd play along. Sure enough, within a few days he disappeared. The profile had been deleted, but wait he put another one up using the same picture and a new username just days later! Once again he started writing as if we had never communicated before. What an idiot! Are you kidding me? I asked him if he was suffering from an identity crisis and amnesia. He was confused. He had no clue what I was referring to. I had to send him his previous user name and copies of the emails he had sent along with his profile pic. DELETE, BLOCK .... next!
I had to stop and ask myself "What the hell are you doing on here again?" Things have obviously not changed, nor will they. Sadly as I scrolled through profiles in the hopes of finding some new prospects, I came across the profiles of guys I knew well who were in relationships. Why do guys cheat? And on POF of all places where your face is posted for all to see? Sooner or later you're going to get caught, what's the point? This always leaves me feeling sick to my stomach and torn. Do I call my girlfriends and tell them? Should I print and send them the profile? If, no when I run into these guys in person, they will definitely get an earful. This is not acceptable, at least not to me. I would certainly want to know if my man was cheating on me.
Enough, I didn't want to read any more emails. While I was logged on, several more emails came in. This was not starting off very well, at least not the way I had hoped.
I'll give it a few days and build up the courage to read the other emails. Bye for now!
Dateless in Ottawa
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