Followers

Sunday 9 September 2018

Why do men create online dating profiles if they have no intention of dating???

Before I initiate you to my Round 35 of Online Dating, I need some clarification.  If you have an online dating profile, does it not imply you want to date?  The correct answer should be yes and if so,  does dating not further imply you would expect to meet potential candidates in person?  Consider this a bit of a sneak peak of the challenges I'll be dealing with in Round 35. 

When creating your online profile, if you choose any of the following categories as your intent:
Dating
Hangout
Friends
Relationship
Looking to find someone to marry

- perhaps you weren't aware, but it implies you are wanting to meet someone.  Allow me to explain further with the help of definitions.

According to Wikipedia:
Dating - is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It is a form of courtship, consisting of social activities done by the couple, either alone or with others.

"Meet Socially" as in meet in person in a social setting.  The options are endless, but the most common seems to be to meet for coffee or drinks.

According to the Urban Dictionary:
Hangout  - Less serious than getting together or dating. Spending time with someone in the context of friendship or in the context of casually exploring whether you like someone as just a friend or maybe more than a friend.

According to the Oxford Dictionary:
Friends - a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.

According to the Collins Dictionary:
Relationship (note: in the context of dating) - A relationship is a close friendship between two people, especially one involving romantic or sexual feelings.

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary:
Marriage - the relationship that exists between a husband and a wife. : a similar relationship between people of the same sex. : a ceremony in which two people are married to each other.

According to the Free Dictionary:
To get married - take in marriage, get hitched with, hook up with,  marry, wed, conjoin, espouse, unite, unify - act in concert or unite in a common purpose or belief.

Based on the above definitions, I think it is blatantly obvious that one should assume they will be meeting people in the hopes of developing one of the above types of relationships if they choose to use online dating.  Until such time as the category of "Pen Pal" is added, you should be prepared, able, willing and expecting to meet people in person.  Hell, I'll take it a step further.  With so many men using online dating for sex, it's kind of hard to have sex if you don't meet a woman in person.  If all you're looking for is cybering or phone sex, there are all kinds of toll free numbers and other websites for that.

Online dating has certainly provided me with all kinds of knowledge I would not have acquired otherwise.  At times there are many things I'd rather not know, but whatever.  The terminology alone....I feel like I can't keep track!  Cybering???  I had no idea what that was.  Then there's all the different fetishes and sexual terms.  Just when you thought you knew it all....Not!!!Must be my strict Catholic upbringing and Catholic School that shielded me from all of these crazy and out there trends or whatever you want to call them.  Has normal become extinct?  Can anyone tell me what normal is?  I feel like I'm a dinosaur or something.  So much for 40 being the new 20!

It's all good, live and let live.  If you're happy, that's all that matters.  Eventually we'll all find what we're looking for, or at least I hope so.  Don't give up and always look for the positive side no matter how bad something seems.

At the end of the day everyone, if you're going to use online dating, be prepare to meet people.  If this is not of any interest to you, then stop wasting other people's time.  Nothing more annoying than  endless emails and texts with individuals that have no intention of meeting.  They must be bored or have nothing better to do than sit in front of their computers and type away.  Even the suggestion to talk on the phone is unappealing, the minute you bring it up they disappear!  Then there's those that make dates then cancel at the last minute.  I can't believe how often guys get sick, have headaches or they fell asleep.  Those that are supposedly sick must not recover cause I don't hear from them again. 

Don't allow people to waste your time.  If by the second week of emailing and/or texting a guy hasn't suggested meeting, I bring it up.  If he doesn't make plans, I'm done.  No doubt some guys might fall off their chair when I suggest it so quickly, but seriously we're not in kindergarden.  Apparently many women can go months without agreeing to meet and from my experience, men can be worse.  Yes, safety first, that's what Tim Horton's or a host of other coffee shops are good for.  Stop making excuses.  I'm not online to juggle dozens of men or serial date and if all I wanted to do was email and text, I may as well write a book!  If you're serious, the only way to determine compatibility and chemistry is to meet in person.  You'll know after the first date or definitely after the second whether or not there's potential.

Ok folks, get offline and date dammit!!!
Dateless in Ottawa

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