So round 34 continues. There were quite a few emails. So much for trying not to log in often. I find every time I'm online, even more emails come in as other users can see I'm logged in!
Ok, time to read emails and start weeding out the undesirable candidates.
#4. Mr.....I can't even categorize this one. Psychopath, obsessed???
This guy was the same age as me. He's the one with the weird profile going on and on about how much he loved his ex-girlfriend and how he continues to deliver meals to her. In fact I also learned he's the same one that had a profile that explained the differences between nipple skin and elbow skin, interesting that he changed his picture for that profile. I had blocked this user 4 times already, yet he'd create a whole new profile with a new username and managed to find me every time. This was becoming extremely annoying. I wrote and asked him to stop contacting me. Was the fact that I had blocked him 4 times not a blatantly obvious enough sign that I wasn't interested? This left me no choice but to contact POF and report that this guy's profile and emails were inappropriate and I felt like I was being stalked. They deleted his profile. Well, he created yet another and wrote to me again. Good grief, I give up!
Why can't people take no for an answer? There should be no need to have to repeat oneself numerous times. Even what was written in his profiles was deeply disturbing. Don't the POF administrators randomly review profiles for content? Is it only when a complaint is placed that they take action? I would hope that anytime a user is blocked that they go in and check why or ask the person blocking them what the problem is. No doubt some complaints may be unfounded, but either way if you're not interested, you're not interested!
#5. Mr. Couple
This guy was attractive and slightly younger than me. The email started off great, then took a major nose dive. Where the hell in my profile does it say I'm looking for a threesome? I had to go in and verify to make sure my profile hadn't been changed. No, it clearly states I'm a woman looking for a man. Furthermore, it does not say seeking a man and a woman! So I went back to my emails and reread it to make sure I hadn't misunderstood. Nope, I didn't.
This guy read my profile and felt I sounded very interesting. He then had his girlfriend read it who was older than me and they decided I'd make a great addition to their sex life. They lived in the same city and were looking for someone open minded and flexible to have some fun and explore pleasure together. They wanted to meet for coffee to discuss the possibilities as well as any fetishes or fantasies I'd be interested in acting out.
OMG! Are these people for real? Sorry, not my cup of tea. NEXT!!!!!
#6. Mr. Repeat Offender
This guy was my age. Quite tall with dark hair and dark eyes. Another repeat offender. He was an entrepreneur with a pet grooming business on the side who worked in IT as a profession. This guy had written numerous times over the years and on different sites. He contacts me and writes fast and furious with emails of flattery and wanting to meet only to delete his profile days later, then create a new one with the same picture and contact me again as if he'd never emailed me before.
He caught me on a bad day and I had no patience. Typically I would just play along and have fun with the emails, but today was a day from hell. I was fed up and not in the mood for games.
I called him out and told him he'd contacted me numerous times over the years. He does the exact same thing every time. I'm sick and tired of him wasting my time. His response, "I was going through a rough patch and decided to delete my profile until I sorted things out." 6 f------ times? If you're that insecure or messed up, maybe you should stay away from online dating all together! Why did he feel the need to waste people's time and then pretend like he's never contacted you over and over again. Often times within a week. Was he that unstable that he had to sort things out weekly? WTF? Are you kidding me? Perhaps he's suffering from multiple personality disorder since he's forever having to create new user names. You don't remember all the emails you sent last week and the dinner invite? It was only a few days ago and now you have a new username with the same picture? I had saved his emails and sent them to him. Lately I tend to copy and save some of the more outrageous emails and profiles for times just like these. Always nice to have ammunition. Funny how his profile disappeared as quickly as he'd emailed. I guess he didn't have anything further to say. We'll see how long it takes him to create another profile and contact me again! Anyone want to place a bet???
Why do men play these games? Do they truly believe women are that stupid and that we won't recognize their picture when they use the exact same one over and over again? Dude, you create new profiles weekly using the same pic.....HELLO!
#7. The Café Owner
He was slightly older and tall with dark hair and dark eyes. He was Italian. I could tell his pictures were older and low and behold he was wearing a wedding band in one of them. The profile said he was divorced and had children. He lived in Montreal. His email was polite and well written as was his profile. It stated he was looking for a relationship.
I wrote back and mentioned I didn't live in Montreal so why would he write? He claimed he was willing to travel for the right person, distance should not be an obstacle when one is searching for love. I agreed, one should be open minded and flexible. He said he was very taken by my pictures and what I had written in my profile. I was just the kind of woman he was looking for. We had similar interests and came from European backgrounds.
As luck would have it, I had a business trip to Montreal coming up the following week. We agreed to meet for coffee. When I arrived in Montreal we talked a few times and I told him I'd let him know when my schedule would open up so we could meet. I said I would pick a place and we could go from there. He was part owner of a coffee shop and usually worked the night shift. Another option would be to drop by the coffee shop in the evening if I couldn't get away during the day before he started work.
Immediately he became very indecisive. He was the one that was all excited and available to meet, but suddenly he wasn't sure he could meet me and would have to run it by his partner. What? He needed permission from his partner to go on a date? This made no sense. When I got my schedule I called him and let him know when I'd be free and where I wanted to meet. At first he agreed, then 5 minutes later he called back saying we should meet in the food court across from my hotel instead because it would be too far for him to go the restaurant I had picked. Funny because the restaurant was only 2 blocks away from my hotel and I made sure there was parking. I pointed out that due to the event I was working on, there were road closures and he wouldn't be able to access the mall plus there was no parking there. He argued. Nope, I was going to the restaurant I had picked and he could choose to join me or not. Of course he was a no show. He tried calling and I didn't answer. His voice message said traffic was bad and he had to start work earlier. Yeah right, he was full of it.
He called later that afternoon, but from an unknown number. I thought it was a colleague calling, had I known it was him I wouldn't have answered. He said he'd lost his cell phone and this was a new number I could call. During the conversation he mentioned he was having difficulty with his wife. Wait a second, wife? Oh, hold on now I understood the story about the new cell phone. Loosely translated, he probably got another cell phone his wife doesn't have access to. His profile said he was divorced! When I questioned him he said he must have made a mistake when he created the profile. He had just left his wife. For now he just wanted to get out and meet people, you know have fun. Sure, as in screw around? No thanks, the profile clearly states divorced looking for a relationship. Gee let me guess, you made 2 mistakes while filling out the profile? I think not. Let's not focus on details, but we had several discussion about what we were looking for and "just having fun" was not one of my criteria. Best of luck with your search.
What is it that brings out the worst in people? Why do people have to be dishonest? Does online dating encourage this behaviour? I guess when you're hiding behind a computer screen it's so much easier to lie. Online dating could be an amazing tool, but when people are dishonest it ruins it for those who are being genuine and truly seeking a relationship. People blame the online dating sites and that isn't fair. The site is merely the tool designed to help users. At the end of the day the users who go in and create the profiles, input information and upload pictures are the ones responsible for the negativity associated with these sites. They are the ones that give online dating a bad name and cause others to become jaded and give up. Do they for one second think about the effect their lies have on others? More than likely not, or they simply don't care. Sadly they are too wrapped up in themselves and what they want with no consideration whatsoever to the negative impact it has on others. Sooner or later the truth comes out and innocent people get hurt. Most of these guys are so stupid they can't even keep track of their own lies, what they write in their profiles or what they tell the women they are communicating with.
This round is going very badly. Again there were several emails soliciting sex or being rude. So much for being adults. Highly unlikely men would say these things or behave his way if they were sitting across from you. My teenagers display far more decorum and manners than most of the guys on this site. Very hard to remain positive and not throw in the towel. A person can only take so much. I feel emotionally drained. One after the other, when does it end? How is one supposed to trust anyone when you are subjected to this type of behaviour? Very difficult not to paint everyone with the same brush and assume everyone is lying. Thank goodness for business trips. I need a long break from all of this bullshit. Maybe I'll meet someone while I'm away working?
Good luck, everyone. Try not to give up and remember to treat others the way you want to be treated.
Dateless in Ottawa
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