OMG, less than 48 hours on the site and this is what I experienced:
1. 3 crotch shots! This is a new record and an all time low for men.
Are guys for real? I'm sorry, but not the least bit sexy or attractive in my opinion. Obnoxious, inappropriate, lacking class, politically incorrect...these are just a few of the adjectives that come to mind. Why, after exchanging a couple of emails do guys suddenly feel it's appropriate to send a picture of their penis? Guys, I mean boys, please keep it in your pants. By the way boys, you might not be as well endowed as you think you are, so spare yourself some embarrassment along with a strong dose of rejection! Do you really believe women like these? To each his own I suppose. I haven't even met you in person to determine whether any attraction or chemistry exists, I can assure you we definitely won't be meeting now because it's painfully obvious you're only looking for one thing.
2. Inappropriate usernames, emails and profiles, too many to count!
a) By simply reading usernames, you can quickly identify who's just looking for sex. Could you be any more blatantly obvious with usernames like "Bigandblack4u" or "Wellhungmale"? I'll stop there.
b) Who sends an introductory email that says, "Yummy!" or "Yo" or "Mmmmm"? Excuse my language, but WTF???
Time to go back to school boys and relearn English grammar, spelling and how to properly construct a greeting and/or introductory email. God forbid I ask you to write an entire paragraph, as it seems that would be well beyond most of these boys' capabilities. Yes, I'll refer to these guys as boys because the term gentlemen absolutely does not apply. I would expect a man to behave with a bit more class and maturity.
Then there's the emails asking what my sexual fetishes, preferences and favourite positions are? So much for addressing the basics first like name, occupation, where you live and what your background is. Can we meet to see if there's any potential first and then maybe if we hit it off, explore the topic of sex? What happened to having a bit of mystery and intrigue? Are surprises now out of fashion? I totally get that if the physical aspect of a relationship is extremely important to you, it's good to make that known to a potential partner to ensure you're both on the same page, but there are more classy, politically correct and/or subtle ways of doing that.
c) Profiles can be very scary. As if I'll respond to an email that simply says, "Yummy" attached to a profile that says: "I taste amazing!" So much for sites claiming you must have a minimum number of characters in your profile. Not sure how he got away with this one. Are you kidding me? I'm beyond shocked. And most of this coming from boys in their 50's. Are they going through another mid-life crisis? Perhaps it's a form of male menopause? OMG it's an epidemic of unmeasurable proportions! I guess the generalization that men never grow up has some truth it, not to mention they just seem to get worse as they age. Sad that my teenage son behaves with more class and decorum than these morons.
What about a profile that goes on and on about his last girlfriend, how sexy she was and how much he loved her. Unfortunately she grew tired of the love, but loved his cooking so he regularly makes house calls to deliver food??? WTF really? Like food is all he's delivering and he has to make that known to all who read his profile. Oh, I'm dying to meet you dude....NOT!
Then there's the one that goes into an elaborate explanation about the differences between nipple skin and elbow skin? Excuse me? I thought I was reading a profile not a weird medical journal or opinion piece. I was speechless. What does one say to that? Not to mention I can't quite figure out how that is suppose to attract women? Did I miss something?
And these guys wonder why they're single. OMG get a grip! Go read your profile, better yet, ask a few friends or co-workers to read it and provide feedback. Highly unlikely they'll give you a thumbs up.
3. Pictures
Once again, what's up with the married guys sporting their wedding rings? Unreal, talk about bad liars. Their profiles claim they are single or divorced, but there they are showing off their shiny gold wedding band in not one or two, but most if not all of their profile pics! Wait let me guess, you have no other pictures of yourself? In this day and age that's the lamest excuse anyone can come up with. Take a selfie, similar to the ones you took wearing your wedding band while standing in front of a mirror in the bathroom! By the way most mobile devices have a feature that allows you to turn the camera around so you don't have to stand in front of a mirror. Just saying, maybe you should read the owner's manual. Better yet, ask a friend or family member to take a picture of you. It's truly not that difficult. If you're too embarrassed to ask a friend, pretend you're a tourist and ask a stranger or server to take a picture while you're out and about.
Oh wait, it gets better. The infamous bathroom selfies while standing half-naked! Some even in a public washroom! Boys grow up and put some clothes on! Gross, a picture with a toilet or urinal in the background. Do boys really believe these pictures are sexy and appealing? Think again, NOT! If you must do the bathroom selfie thing, do it at home. BUT please, please, please make sure your bathroom is clean and the toilet seat is down in case you forgot to flush. Unbelievable!!! This should go without saying. Is common sense that lacking these days? Bad enough you can't write, I strongly recommend you look at your pictures closely before you post them online.
When in doubt boys, here's a simple rule of thumb for you - if you wouldn't show the picture to your Mother, don't post it on your profile or send it by email! If you wouldn't say it to your Mother, don't say it to a woman or anyone else for that matter. Better to err on the side of caution. If you wouldn't ask your Mom a certain question, don't ask a virtual stranger who you're hoping to date. Once in a relationship or at least dating and somewhat comfortable, then ask your questions and get more racy. Until then, mind your manners!
My online dating experience to date is extremely discouraging this time around. I'm actually quite terrified. Very hard to remain positive when after barely being on the site for 2 days you encounter all of the above and then some. Can anyone tell me what normal is? I'm so confused, maybe it's me? Have things changed so drastically that I'm completely out of touch with reality? It's not like I've been in a comma for 20 years!
Oh well, I'm persistent and don't give up easily. I'll ride the waves while holding onto the hope that there are still some nice, honest and normal people out there. The world would be a very sad place if they didn't exist. They are rare and in the minority, hence hard to find. Wish me luck, this time I have no doubt I'm most definitely going to need it!
God help all of us single people looking for love! Maybe I need a time machine to take me back 20 years when life was less complicated! Good luck!!!
Dateless in Ottawa
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