Round 35 was off to a rough start. Is it too much to ask that a potential mate be financially stable? How does one communicate this without sounding like a gold digger? At the very least I would expect my mate to be able to cover his and his children's living expenses. Being a single parent of four, I fully understand how challenging it can be. It isn't easy to raise a family on one income. One has to learn how to be creative, frugal and cautious. It's hard, but not impossible. I may never be rich, but I'm comfortable and my kids have everything they need. Thankfully I don't have to rely on anyone or depend on my parents to pay my bills. The last thing I would ever want to do is be a burden to anyone, especially my mate. Give and take is very important in a relationship, within reason. My children are mine and therefore my responsibility physically, emotionally and financially. Given my level of responsibilities, I'm not interesting in or able to assume another dependent and/or dependents. If that was the case, I'd have another child. Might sound harsh, but it's the reality. I'm no damsel in distress waiting for my knight in shining armour to ride in and assume all of my responsibilities and bills, and the same should apply to my significant other.
Time to come up with a new game plan. Expecting men to take the lead might be asking too much and limiting my options. I'll look through profiles and add the ones that pique my interest to my favourites, then I'll go back and craft an introductory email that touches on things or interests we have in common. It can't hurt. This presents a bit of a challenge for me as I'm old school. For me chivalry is huge and I believe the man should lead. Oh well, time to implement change and see what happens!
Travel at work increased again so another hurdle to manage while trying to juggle work, the kids and dating.
#10. Mr. Heavy Equipment
During one of my sleepless nights, I browsed through profiles seeking a potential mate. Low and behold I came across a profile that was hilarious. I actually laughed out loud! He was a year younger than me, divorced and had children. He was tall, with blue eyes, a shaved head and a great smile. There were several pictures on the profile which showed the activities he enjoyed, a bit about his work and some of his toys. I decided I had to write to this guy, so saved his profile in my favourites. Just as I saved the profile into my favourites and went to log off, a new email arrived. Low and behold it was from the guy who's profile I had just added to my favourites!
The email was funny. He said my profile was one of the best he'd ever read, it was funny and he believed he met all of my criteria. Once again I laughed out loud. We exchanged a few emails then moved to the phone. He had a funny accent. When he told me he was originally from Newfoundland, it all made sense. Newfy indeed and I thought people just made up stories about their accent!
I later asked him if he had written because he got the notification I had added him as a favourite and he didn't know what I was talking about.
Him: "What? I was just looking through profiles and came across yours. I really liked it so I wrote to you. What favourites? You added me as a favourite? Really? Nice. I don't see those on my cell phone."
OMG, what are the odds that 2 people read each other's profiles at the exact same time. Talk about serendipity!
His children were older, the daughter was living on her own and his son with his mother. From time to time they'd stay as his place. He was a heavy equipment operator and had always worked in the construction industry. He was very handy as he did all of his own mechanical work on his vehicles and repairs around the house. Our conversations were always filled with laughter and jokes, but he also knew when it was time to be serious. In terms of relationships, he had not been lucky. He said he'd been cheated on several times and his last girlfriend had an addiction problem that he was not willing to support. He worked the night shift which made it difficult for him to date which is why he'd been single for a while, but soon the shifts would be changed allowing him to move to days.
We planned our first date to be breakfast on Saturday after he'd finished his shift. I was excited. He seemed so funny and interesting. I was leaving on another business trip and would be back on the Friday. Off I went on my trip, only to find out on the Thursday night that I had to stay an extra day. There went our first date. I was on my way to the hotel to call him and let him know I'd have to reschedule when my phone rang. It was him, he'd just been advised he was being transferred to a site in Toronto and had to leave the following day. He'd be gone for 2 weeks. Oh well, what's another 2 weeks?
We texted throughout the day and talked every night. He was very thoughtful and attentive. A week after we'd started emailing he called and wished me a happy anniversary. It caught me completely off guard, didn't understand what he was talking about. He then said obviously I wasn't as invested or good at keeping track of important dates so he'd have to reconsider. After a moment of silence he burst out laughing. This guy kept me on my toes and laugher was always on the menu. Our beliefs and upbringing were very similar. He was close to his family.
Two weeks later and I had to leave on another business trip as he was returning home. We continued to talk and didn't worry too much about our first date. We talked about anything and everything. He asked about my kids, what they were like and the activities they were involved in. He said he wanted to be involved and hoped they would accept him. I was impressed and appreciated the effort. His relationship with his kids was a bit strained. Him and his ex didn't get along at all and his kids hadn't liked his last girlfriend. Working nights didn't help either and having to work out of town just made it all the more challenging.
Finally there was a glimmer of hope. Stay tuned to the ongoing quest to schedule our first date!
Dateless in Ottawa
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