Often times when someone cancels on you at the last minute, you're left wondering whether you said or did something wrong. Why is it that we always assume the worst and blame ourselves? Sadly many men are dishonest and unable to tell you the real reason why they are cancelling. Don't get me wrong, things do happen but some excuses are beyond lame. Personally I strive to be a person of my word and go out of my way to make sure if I have plans that I follow through. I can be extremely creative at juggling my kids, work and responsibilities. Not sure where I find the extra hours, but I make it work. There is only one time I can think of that I had to cancel and that was because I was out of town working and had to stay an extra day due to events getting added at the last minute. Funnily enough, as I was calling my date to let him know, he was calling me to cancel at the exact same time!
The list of excuses is endless. Some plausible others way too far fetched. I'll have to dedicate a post just to excuses guys use!
A very common one I've run into numerous times over the last couple of years is "I have a headache"
- I love this one. I wish I had 5 bucks for every time a guy cancelled for this reason. So much for women being the ones with recurring headaches. Sorry, guys it seems the tables have turned. Ever hear of taking an Advil or Tylenol?
I love it when I catch a guy in a lie. Sooner or later the truth will always come out. We're too old for games, just tell the truth.
My son recently learned this lesson all too well. I was planning a surprise birthday party for him and asked one of his girlfriends to ask him out for lunch and bring him to the restaurant. It was all set-up perfectly, then at 10:00 pm the night before he texts her that he's not going out. He doesn't feel well and has too much homework. I texted another of his girlfriends and she said not to worry, he was going out with her for lunch instead. I felt really badly for the first girl. It was weird, was there a misunderstanding?
Well, the next day at his party didn't he feel like a complete idiot when he walked in and who did he see first? The girlfriend he originally had plans with. She was visibly upset and he was horribly embarrassed. He tried apologizing, but it was beyond lame.
That night I let him have it. This kind of behaviour is completely unacceptable. This is not how I raised him. Respect and honesty are paramount.
Me: "I can't believe you did that. Hopefully you've learned your lesson. You've heard some of my online dating stories and how upset I get and you go and do it to a good friend of yours? Really nice."
Him: "I couldn't believe it when I walked in and saw her. I felt so bad."
Me: "You should! You don't do that. I'm ashamed of you, she was very upset."
Him: "I know, I know. I didn't know what to say. I apologized."
Me: "Don't you turn into an asshole like the guys I have to deal with online. If you don't want to go out with someone then don't say yes to begin with. What, you get a better offer and dump the first one? How would you feel if someone did it to you? This better not be a habit of yours. Glad you got caught, learn from your mistake and don't you ever do it again!"
Him: "Yeah, I know."
Me: "You owe her an apology and need to make it up to her. Can't imagine how you made her feel. She was doing me a favour to get you to the party so you wouldn't figure it out. I feel bad for having asked her cause then you go and do this. Geez! Some best friend you are."
My daughter told me later it's not the first time he's done it. This time Karma worked her magic and he got caught red handed! All of his friends at the party knew what was going on too. I think he learned his lesson.
Are men born with this behaviour imbedded in them? My goodness, be a man and show some respect. Not only to yourself, but others. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts but I'd rather that than being lead on or used. Time is the most precious gift a person can give you because you can never get that back. Don't take advantage of them and play games.
Too much!
Dateless in Ottawa
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