Ok, so the dating service didn't pan out. The same person that was putting on the singles events at the grocery store started a matchmaking service. Given how much I enjoyed reading her articles and blog, attending the singles grocery nights and the fact that she was friends with one of my close friends, I thought why not? Her questionnaire was very detailed. Along with the usual personal questions, it also asked about my preferences. What really stood out to me was that it made me look at myself. With questions like:
What makes you stand out from the crowd?
What makes you interesting?
Would you describe yourself as charismatic, assertive or ambitious?
What are your long term life goals?
What does your ideal relationship look like?
What are 5 solid reasons someone would want to date you?
I could list them all, but I think you get the idea. Instead of focusing solely on what you're looking for, you examine yourself and what you have to offer a potential mate. It really made me think. I'll tell you, it was a lot harder than I thought to answer these questions. After thinking long and hard, I jotted down some answers then checked in with friends for their opinions. Very eye opening indeed. I learned a lot about myself. All in all, I felt her questionnaire was very thorough and left me feeling confident that all this information would make it relatively easy for even a stranger who's never met me to find me a match. This process takes much longer, but I won't have to do much other than patiently wait to see who I'm matched with and go from there.
Note: Once again, as with online dating, you get out of it what you put into it so the key is to be honest.
In the meantime, I participated in another singles grocery night. It was extremely well attended, but again more women than men showed up. It was fun. A few of my friends also participated and I gave them lots to laugh about. You're encouraged to introduce yourself to others who are also participating, but somehow I managed to keep talking to men that weren't there for the event and one was married! I accidentally bumped into him with my cart and started to apologize profusely. He was extremely pleasant and a great sport. We were in the middle of a conversation when my girl friend comes over and whispers into my ear, "Did you have to pick a married one? Hello, wedding ring!" Hey, I was being nice to someone I had bumped into. Darn, too bad because he was cute and totally the type of guy I'm attracted to. My girl friend couldn't stop laughing. At least I can say I talked to a guy, which is more than I can say for her! A while later I did it again. Very strange, kind of like mostly married guys approach me when online dating. Good grief, I guess I'm attracted to married men too!
For me these events afford me the opportunity to get out and change my routine. I go into them with very low expectations. My focus is on doing my groceries and having fun. Meeting someone would be the icing on the cake, but either way it's a night out. Afterwards a group of us usually goes out for a bite and drinks to compare notes. Great conversation and lots of laughs are guaranteed. This time I even won a gift basket! It was a completely unexpected surprise. I look forward to participating in more of these events. There's no pressure and it's up to you to make the effort.
I strongly encourage all singles to look into these events and participate. Get out and meet people, try different things and put in the effort. Don't expect a significant other to simply fall into your lap.
Good luck, time for bed!
Dateless in Ottawa
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